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male
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anonymous
writes: Can anybody help me with problems arising from having a relationship with an Asian Muslim girl?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008): i live in oldham a very mixed and matched area of northern england,i have grown up with and grown too want a magnificent and clever girl from a different cultural background,and judge her purely on her actions,not her religious pre-determined reactions.not her choice but that of an expected communal judgement.sadly love must come second best too lust and fullfilment
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2008):
i think the hypocracy of many posters is apalling. Why does he have to convert, what exactly prohibits a muslim woman leaving the faith? perhaps her male family members threatening to murder her and her partner. If someone can enter the faith, they can leave it.
Mate, you are asking for trouble. If ur lucky, and i hope u r, her family may have an open mind about this, but dont hold your breath. Otherwise, if the two of us are really serious, the only plausible way to be together is for her 2 leave her family, which of course is in no way pleasant.
I am not a muslim, but know many muslims who suffer from such circumstances.
Good luck to you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2007): hi im a muslim and the only way your gonna be with her is be a muslim or find some one with the same culture and not a muslim
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A
female
reader, CherryVanilli  +, writes (20 October 2006):
 Well, this is kindda complicated...u've sort of solved the religious part that you could convert...but the difference in the nationality cannot be solved unfortunately, but since both of you have already mistaken by having sex. so you've got no other choice than telling her parents how much you want her, maybe if they feel how much you both want each others they'd approve. If they did not approve then she must tell them that your converting to Islam and that you've done a lot for her sake, maybe they'd change their mind...but let me tell you this, I was in love with a guy from a different nationality & same religion however my dad specifically did not approve it but I kept insisting for so long that eventually he was about to approve except that my bf turned out to be a liar & a cheater!! but my point is parents are always afraid on their "little gurl" cos that is what they see her, so they need to be sure 1000000% that she is gonna be safe & happy, since ur from a different culture they'd always feel that she's not safe , so here's ur role to show them how much u care & willing to do anything to have her & she must tell them that u r her happiness!!
Good luck :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your answers. I’d like to expand a bit on things & hope you can offer more advice. First, this isn’t casual dating; we are deeply in love; we both want the same things and I know that if only her family would approve, we would be together. Second, I've never had a problem with Islam and what I’ve learned whilst in this relationship has only served to enhance my view of that faith. I have to confess we have slept with each other and, so, realise neither of us have behaved well, but, I do want to marry her!
I don’t drink and I don’t take drugs; I’ve dropped most of my friends because all they seem to be interested in is sex/porn and going out drinking on the pull – which really doesn’t interest me. I believe family is the most important and valuable thing in life; I really do want to have kids and just settle down.
I am seriously considering converting (reverting??) to Islam, however, any such decision should and would be in spite of and not because of my relationship – to convert solely in order to “get the girl” would be wholly wrong.
The thing is, I’m not even sure religion is the main or even the only problem; even if I was a Muslim, or, converted, I’m not sure her Bangladeshi family will ever accept me – and her fear is that they will shun her forever if she tells them she wants to be with me.
I do try to respect her family, religion and culture, but, the one thing I simply cannot comprehend is how a mother could disown her daughter simply because she doesn’t approve of her choice of partner. I would do whatever it takes to keep her I touch with them, in the hope that they might, one day, change their view, but, she believes they never will.
What on earth am I supposed to do: I want to ask her to come with me, but, I don’t want to be responsible for her losing her family?
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A
male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (16 October 2006):
 Well, I am a Muslim and this is a very difficult situation. Like anon said a Muslim woman cannot marry a man outside of her religion. In Islam she is not to be touched by anyone except her husband. Fornication is strictly prohibited. These type of things is were the real problem will lie when it comes to casual dating.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2006): Hi! I am a Muslim, & let me tell u this in our religion a Muslim girl can't marry a guy from any other religion, however if you really love her then the only chance for you is to become a Muslim too, if not, then you should just find yourself some one more suitable to you like same culture & same religion, cos you will sure face a lot of difficulties...but if you have anything to ask me I'd be glad to answer you :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2006): Hi! I am a Muslim, & let me tell u this in our religion a Muslim girl can't marry a guy from any other religion, however if you really love her then the only chance for you is to become a Muslim too, if not, then you should just find yourself some one more suitable to you like same culture & same religion, cos you will sure face a lot of difficulties...but if you have anything to ask me I'd be glad to answer you :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your answer. However, I think what I really need is somebody with who I can actually correspond on this matter - ideally, I suppose, another Muslim - as I have so much I would like to discuss. Do we have any Muslims who view this site?
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A
female
reader, Cool Cucumber  +, writes (16 October 2006):
 The main one that springs to mind is her religious beliefs. Would you agree to her beliefs? Or would it not bother you? Most muslim families like their children to date muslims and eventually marry them so as the population of muslims increases. Expect some conflict here regards her family. There are some exceptions, more westernised muslims are more open minded and relaxed about their beleifs. If you really like this girl and she likes you then surely race/religion shouldn't be a barrier but unfortunately it is in most cultures....still!!
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