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... Send *unandstars a private message | | | *unandstars's profile:I started answering questions on this site because I like to help others with their problems. I am 16, therefore I only answer teenage questions, as I feel adults would feel quite embarrassed if they were being advised by a 'child'. When answering, I go for the brutally honest approach, this may sometimes be harsh, but I am a strong believer in honesty, and I know I wouldn't want to be lied to or tricked if I was asking for advice. I tend to also ask questions in my answers, simply to get the writer to think and perhaps come up with their own solutions rather than relying on the thoughts of others which could hinder rather than help their situation, I always think the writing is not the full extent of the story and provoking thoughts is the best method of advice. |
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| Latest articles: Where have all the genuine people gone?
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
21 June 2011: So I clicked article just above the box I'm currently writing in, I believe RANT is the more appropriate word, but it's the nearest thing. So recently, over the past few months, I've noticed a huge change in a LOT of people. I don't know whether ...
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Breakup after two and a half years - how do I cope?
Q. Me and my boyfriend of two and a half years have just broken up. Our relationship had gotten to the point where we were fighting every second day, and neither of us were truly happy anymore. I love him more than anything- we were best friends as ...
A. 23 December 2012: Sorry to hear about what you're going through. I have been through the same thing myself and the only advice I can give you is to, for now, separate yourself from him. I know this is hard because you want to be close with him, but spending time with ... (read in full...)
Is he messing with my head or does he like me?
Q. ok.... there is this boy we have known each other for years about 6-7 years we live in the same area.. but we just used to chat like hello you ok, and that was it. he had a girlfriend they were together for bout 3 years and a half, and i had a ...
A. 4 July 2012: It seems like this guy is simply using you as a sex object. He is clearly missing his ex and maybe just wants some physical 'action'. I suggest that you leave him alone as you don't want to be ending up in a rebound relationship with him not loving ... (read in full...)
Should I go after this girl who lives far away from me?
Q. right now I don't know if I'm doing the right thing. I like this girl, I have a huge crush on her, we talked on tumblr (a social networking site) and I told her how I feel about her but she just politely told me that she only wanted to be friends as ...
A. 12 April 2012: There is a quote in Coldplay's song 'Fix You'; 'If you never try you'll never know.' It's completely true, if you feel something different about this girl just go for it, distance doesn't really matter if love is there (obviously it isn't now but it ... (read in full...)
Only been together 4 days but I think he doesn't like me anymore! Help!
Q. Well I am only 13 but my boyfriend and I have only been together for 4 days and I feel like he doesn't like me any more, he doesn't reply to my text's and when he does he just put's like 'k' or 'what'. When I say to him I love him he just put's back ...
A. 11 April 2012: I don't want to sound patronising, but you're not in love. Unlike some of the people that have answered, I'm not an adult, I'm 16 and I was in your situation just three years ago. I had many 'boyfriends' who I thought I 'loved' but just trust me, ... (read in full...)
I talked about his mean actions. He promised to stop. So how do I handle that he's doing it again?
Q. my boyfriend and i , we been 10 months strong .. but now , it seems like every now and than we get into really BIG arguments, and the more i be in back of him. If i keep calling him , and texting him , he takes advantage. Whether he wont pick up ...
A. 15 March 2012: You're just going to have to be brutal, tell him you'll break up with him if he doesn't start to care for you. I know it may be hard for you, but think about it, do you really want a man that treats you badly? If he loves you he will change his ... (read in full...)
Does she like me? So many signs that maybe she does
Q. Hi there! I've been trying to work up the courage to ask this girl I work with for a while now. Just recently I asked her friend that she works with if she knew if she liked me or not. And just for the sake of anonymity, I'll call the girl E and her ...
A. 15 March 2012: She seems like she likes you to me, particularly with the note, how cute! I think you should just ask her, it saves you wondering about it, and you can just laugh it off if it ends badly. I think that's the only way forward, good luck!... (read in full...)
I really dislike being single
Q. I've been single since October And most people I talk to say that they like being single but I don't. Everyone says that I will never fib nd a boyfriend if I am looking but I cant just stop. I like a couple of guys but I am 99% sure none of them lik...
A. 15 March 2012: I completely understand how you feel, being loved is the best feeling in the world. I broke up with my boyfriend a few months ago and I ended up trying to get with this guy that I've now realised didn't have the qualities I want at all, I was just ... (read in full...)
Scared of sex...does it hurt?
Q. help!! my boyfriend wanted me to have sex with him but i am scared to!!! does it hurt??...
A. 15 March 2012: It sounds like you're not too keen on having sex yourself. If this is not a road you're ready to go down yet then DON'T. Giving up your virginity is not something to take lightly. If you know you do love him and you want to have sex, then tell him ... (read in full...)
I told him I think he is cute, will he be happy about this? Or have I creeped him out like my friends said?
Q. So, I'm in highschool and have just started to grow a rather flirtatious streak(I never used to be really flirty but now I am) I met this one dude who I always thought was really cute but I never got the chance to talk to him before. But I w...
A. 15 March 2012: I don't think it's creepy that you told him. I always tell guys (even ones who I don't fancy) if I think they've done something cute. Providing they're not some really tough, muscley, 'hard' guy I think he will have took it as a great compliment. ... (read in full...)
Gone from texting all day every day to him not replying to my messages, what is going on?
Q. Ok so my boyfriend and I text each other like all day everyday, and its been going on for months. Suddenly one day in mid conversation he stopped texting me and even though i kept texting him he wouldnt reply, and then at like 9pm he sent me this ...
A. 15 March 2012: Texting isn't always the best way to maintain a relationship, it's much better to talk in person. Also, spending too much time together or texting all the time can ruin a relationship, maybe cut down on the texting and focus on the proper ... (read in full...)
How do you know if someone is right for you?
Q. How do you know when you're with someone for the long-term, and whether it can last? I'm just wondering if I'm overthinking my relationship with my boyfriend of a year. Basically, he has excellent qualities, he's a good person, I love him. Bu...
A. 15 March 2012: I don't think any man can be completely perfect and satisfy all your wants in a male. If he had one small thing wrong with him, for example his hair wasn't your preferred colour, then naturally it wouldn't be an issue. Ultimately, it's down to how ... (read in full...)
Is my weight appropriate?
Q. What is the average weight for a small sixteen year old girl who is 5 ft 2? Im 6 stone 8 pounds, i'm probobly the thinnest out of all my friends except from one who is not much more thinner than me, alot of people say im realy thin, but i dont think ...
A. 20 December 2011: I am slightly smaller than you and I am about 8 and a half stone, I'm not really skinny and I have curves but I wouldn't say I'm large. So yes I'd say you probably are a little underweight, but not ridiculously, I don't think it sounds like a huge ... (read in full...)
I keep falling for him and it's driving me crazy. What to do when I know he'll never love me back?
Q. This year i took drama and when i walked into my class there sat the boy who I haven't been able to put my feelings straight for more than a week. He's cute and nice. We both share unique views on life but he is way more popular than me. He isn...
A. 19 December 2011: You've basically answered your own question, you've come up with a big negative: "He isn't a good kid either, he doesn't do his work and lately he had a girlfriend for two weeks had sex with her and dumped her, because she was always trying to ... (read in full...)
I've become close to this guy, could it be something more than just friends?
Q. So, for the past few weeks there's this guy that I've become real close with. We have one class together and in a short one we just have become he best of friends. Sometimes I think it's more friendship an I don't want to get myself thinking like ...
A. 19 December 2011: He does sound like he likes you, but like others have said, he may just be feeling lonely, and even HE may not be aware of it. Just give it time (a good few months at least) and if you stay close by all means give it a go, just don't fall into the ... (read in full...)
He's the strong silent type. But talks to me. Is he showing signs of liking me?
Q. Hey guys....well basically I just want to know if you guys thinks this college friend likes me, as I am not too good at this kind of thing. I've just moved up to college and I've known the guy since high school but we never talked...at all. In coll...
A. 19 December 2011: This guy sounds adorable! To me all the strange 'pointless' things he's saying are because he's nervous, it sounds like he really likes you and he's desperately trying to make conversation and this is just what he comes out with. If he's been quiet ... (read in full...)
Like a guy but he has a girlfriend, should I accept his offer to hang out?
Q. I'm 14, and I've been texting this guy that I have romantic feelings for. Let's call him J. Problem is, J has a girlfriend, specifically someone I know and who is nice to me. I may sound cruel, but they are in no way compatible, and I've continued ...
A. 19 December 2011: To you it may not seem like they are compatible, but I'm sure you don't know them both impossibly well, so you can't really make a judgement on their relationship. If the girl is a person you are friendly with, you shouldn't try and break up her ... (read in full...)
Like a guy but he has a girlfriend, should I accept his offer to hang out?
Q. I'm 14, and I've been texting this guy that I have romantic feelings for. Let's call him J. Problem is, J has a girlfriend, specifically someone I know and who is nice to me. I may sound cruel, but they are in no way compatible, and I've continued ...
A. 19 December 2011: To you it may not seem like they are compatible, but I'm sure you don't know them both impossibly well, so you can't really make a judgement on their relationship. If the girl is a person you are friendly with, you shouldn't try and break up her ... (read in full...)
Where have all the genuine people gone?
Q. So I clicked article just above the box I'm currently writing in, I believe RANT is the more appropriate word, but it's the nearest thing. So recently, over the past few months, I've noticed a huge change in a LOT of people. I don't know whether ...
A. 25 June 2011: Never once did I say I want to change. I'm perfectly happy without my full blown piss up weekends. I have fun and I'm popular without being a complete idiot. ... (read in full...)
I don't want to ruin the friendship but I've got reallt strong feelings for him.
Q. i met a guy a few weeks ago........hit it off immediately and we constantly text and phone each other and he invited me to come visit for the weekend as he was going to his friends birthday party. which i attended and we have a great time and he ...
A. 22 June 2011: It sounds like there may be something there, or he is VERY VERY friendly friend. I always think of things in this way, 'what's the worst that could happen'? If you tell him you have feelings for him the worst thing that can happen is that he doesn't ... (read in full...)
How can I get him to be less distant?
Q. I have recently starting going out with this guy called Bob* I do like him but he is so distances he doesn’t hug me or anything, I think due to that I’ve started thinking about my last ex called Ash* I think about Ash at night the most considering ...
A. 19 June 2011: Maybe Bob is a just this kind of person. Are you his first girlfriend? Maybe he's shy because he's unsure of how to handle you, my boyfriend was the same, he was so shy he had to ask his friends how to hug because he didn't want to do it wrong, ... (read in full...)
Should we get back together or not? What would be his intentions?
Q. Hi dc, SO i have a question. my ex boyfriend(we'll call him bob.) (we dated for a year)and i broke up about 3 years ago. we were friends before that, and all of our best friends were pretty much the same people ( thats how we met). We broke up I ...
A. 19 June 2011: By the sounds of it he was being honest. It's not often that guys open up and say things like that, so you should be grateful. He sounds like a good caring guy. Good luck! ... (read in full...)
How do we mend our suddenly strained longterm relationship?
Q. Hey there, I need your advice. (Sorry in advance if I add a bunch of random details.) My boyfriend and I have been having a pretty rough few weeks. We just haven't been getting along. We've been together for almost two years, and we've only ever ...
A. 30 May 2011: It seems your relationship has just done the same as most longterm ones. You've been together so long everything just becomes the same and arguments become more frequent, everything's just a bit tetchy. I've been the witness of this breaking up ... (read in full...)
The future holds... holds what for us? I'm so conflicted and uncertain!
Q. I feel so conflicted I'm not sure where to start, I'm in a relationship with a girl I'm certain could be the love of my life, we love eachother so much, we talk about anything, we're happy, but there's one thing we can't figure out: the future....
A. 30 May 2011: Maybe you two going to the same college wouldn't be a good idea anyway, college is about meeting new people and growing up, perhaps if you both went you'd be clinging to each other and everything would be the same so you wouldn't grow up and you ... (read in full...)
I missed an opportunity with him last year; is it reasonable to contact him now?
Q. I'm in high school at the moment, in my last year, and am interested in a guy I used to know... here's the history: The boy in question is a year older than me, in the grade above, and late last year he asked me out. I didn't really know him at a...
A. 29 May 2011: I think you should get back in touch him, perhaps through Facebook message/text? I think a phone call would surprise him and it may turn out a little awkward. Just start off with a hello, long time no speak kind of thing and then the chemistry ... (read in full...)
Opinions on young teens fooling around.
Q. Hi, im 14 and have been with my boyfriend for nearly two years, the other day suggested that we take things further. When he says further, he means blowjob, fingering, dry sex and sexting. I spoke to my mum and she said she wasnt bothered as long as ...
A. 29 May 2011: Firstly, everything you mentioned is against the law until you are 16. You say you've been together for two years, although you have waited a long time, you are still only 14, you may regret something you do in the future. And, to be quite honest, ... (read in full...)
I love him but I'm sure she's after him!
Q. Hi, im 13 and i really like this boy, well in fact i love him, we went out and he dumped me a week later, we talked ans he asked me back out, i said yes and we were together for two weeks then he dumped me again! I really love him, but theres thia ...
A. 29 May 2011: Time is all this situation needs. If you wait the other girl will move onto someone else and if you still want him then I presume he'll still be there. But you should reflect on this, if he was to end up with you, he would have HAD to choose one of ... (read in full...)
He wants to try oral but I don't want to
Q. I just turned 15 in February my boyfriend just turned 14 in may well im a virgin and we have been going for three weeks now. He says he wants to eat me out but the thing is I dont really want him to should I let him do it? ...
A. 29 May 2011: There are numerous reasons why this is wrong: firstly, you are 14 and 15 (I'm not being judgmental as I'm 15 myself), most people this age are not mentally mature enough to go through with this, they do it because they feel the pressure of other ... (read in full...)
Why did he say he didn't want to hurt me?
Q. This guy i really like, we have been talking for a while and he has told me he likes me and all that. The other day out of the blue he told me he did not wont to hurt me...what does that mean?...
A. 29 May 2011: It seems he's a bit weary of what might happen if you got together. He likes you, but he's not fully confident that it would work out and he doesn't want to end up breaking up with you and hurting you. If you want to be with him, you may need to be ... (read in full...)
Why do other people feel the need to comment on me liking this boy? How do I stop them?
Q. ok, so , i'm ''dating'' lol this guy in my school who i talk on fb everyday and he's really cute, really really sweet, who i've got like EVERYTHING in common with. And which i can now admit i really really like , but he's 15...and i'm almost 17 , ...
A. 29 May 2011: Just ignore them, I got a lot of this a couple of years ago, I was getting close to this guy but he was seen as a bit of a dork at the time and people took the mick, I didn't want to be with him because I cared so much about what people thought. But ... (read in full...)
How do I behave towards and demonstrate to him how much I want to make him feel special to me?
Q. i wanna treat my boyfriend of six months who im due to be engaged to this year with something special if you know what i mean (; we have tried some positions but mainly girl or boy on top, he loves it when i do something new and afterwards he is al...
A. 29 May 2011: If when you say treat you mean a new position, why not try searching the internet, it will be easier than going on something someone on here writes, you might be able to get a video or something? Hope this helps.... (read in full...)
How can I overcome being so very shy with my boyfriend?
Q. my boyfriend loves me going on top,infact he more than loves it, but i get shy sometimes and at times i feel like i'm not doing anything good enough, has anyone got tips on how i can overcome being shy and how i can do anything special whilst on ...
A. 29 May 2011: You just need to talk to him, tell him that you don't feel confident about it and ask how he would like it to be, then when you make love get him to tell how you're doing. If he loves you he will be absolutely fine with this. Also, don't let him ... (read in full...)
After seeing hickeys on her, my girlfriend's parents are not going to let us see each other!
Q. okay so i need some help with this problem i got.i have been dating this girl for over 3 months going on 4 and her parents are some what cool with it so i was walking her home like 3 weeks ago and she was giving me a hickey and her dad drives by and ...
A. 29 May 2011: Can I ask why you were giving her a 'hickey' on her boobs when it sounds like you broke up very shortly after? And what was the reason for the break up? Or when you say split up do you mean you go home and she does? I can understand why her parents ... (read in full...)
Help me decide about these girls.
Q. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend (A) for about 2 months now. He asked me out when I didn't even know him, but I said yes. Before that however, I was sort of semi-dating my other friend (B), getting to know him etc. We are now really ...
A. 18 April 2011: As the others, the older one could be a contender if you like him too, but you've got to wait until you've made your mind up about all the others.... (read in full...)
What do I do about a bf who doesn't listen to me, respect me or do anything I want to do?
Q. I have a bf--i think....well, we have been fighting heaps and he has been treating me like crap, doesn't do anything i ask. Anything i do he rejects...... I have done everything for him. Hell, i gave him a threesome with another chick....he doesn't ...
A. 12 April 2011: This guy doesn't sound worthy of your time, and it doesn't like either of you love each other, get rid! You should wait for a guy who respects you for you are and loves you, get rid of him before it's too late. ... (read in full...)
Help me decide about these girls.
Q. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend (A) for about 2 months now. He asked me out when I didn't even know him, but I said yes. Before that however, I was sort of semi-dating my other friend (B), getting to know him etc. We are now really ...
A. 12 April 2011: I think you just need to sit down and get your head straight, think about the qualities each of these people have and the strength of the relationship: closeness, trust etc, maybe write down the pro's and cons of each person. Decide which one is ... (read in full...)
Two guys like me and I like both of them!
Q. Two guys like me. I like both of them. One of them asked me to be their girlfriend and I don't know what to do. I've made a pros and cons list. I can't find anything bad about going out with either of these guys besides that if I choose one the ...
A. 19 February 2011: If you like two people, you can't toss a coin to choose between them, because if you get into a relationship with one, you're feelings for the other may come across, you can never have two loves in your life, it's too dangerous. Just get too know ... (read in full...)
We don't see each other much and it worries me!
Q. Hi i am 16 yers old my gf is 18yers, i go whith here in the same class but( i have a problem i am russian and she is chinese)on on sanday and saturday she is going to work every time and somtimes friday night. i dont have free time to spend with ...
A. 19 February 2011: My gran has a saying, 'make time', meaning no matter how much you have on you always have time to do those important things. You simply need to find the time, no matter how small it is, to see her. You don't have to see her even, just call to have a ... (read in full...)
My gf always thinks I am checking out other girls when I am not. How do I calm her down?
Q. I have another question. It's about my girlfriend's insecurity. Now what happens is that she says she catches me looking at other girls when I don't. I will admit that i do get bored and my eyes start to wander but i never check out a girl. ...
A. 19 February 2011: Your girlfriend sounds like she's just uncomfortable with herself, she obviously doesn't have a great deal of self confidence and most likely thinks she 'isn't good enough for you' so subconciously presumes you're admiring the other girls. She ... (read in full...)
Is it too soon in our life to have a relationship so serious?
Q. My girlfriend is 14, and I am 15. We're both very mature for our age. We both have a strong lead in Creative Writing and English Lit. We've been dating for a month and a half and we tell each other we love one another. I mean it when I say it, I ...
A. 19 February 2011: Are you too young? My answer is no, a clear, straight no. All the adults on here will say yes, but I am 15 too, as is my boyfriend and I'm in the same situation and we've been together a year and a half. We're both intelligent and mature people. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend taking advantage of me being jealous!
Q. i am 13 and my bf is 14. im a very jealous person but my bf seems to be taking advantage of this, one day he came out of lesson telling me how big this other girls breasts are and her bra size. he has done this to me with many girls on many dif...
A. 19 February 2011: He could be doing this because he's a very insecure person himself, he most likely does it to make himself feel better, he thinks he looks 'cool' because he knows their bra size. No matter how hard it is you do need to talk to him about your ... (read in full...)
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