A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I feel so conflicted I'm not sure where to start, I'm in a relationship with a girl I'm certain could be the love of my life, we love eachother so much, we talk about anything, we're happy, but there's one thing we can't figure out: the future.In the past we've discussed it and basically had a plan, we'd make sure we both got into the same college, from then on, it'd be cake. But now, she's conflicted as to what to do because of her dreams of singing, thinking about practically sacrificing her whole senior year for it, which I flat out told her wouldn't be logical. The same day she tells me that she was going to give up on her dream, I told her I didn't want to be the reason she gave up on her dreams, saying that I wouldn't want it to be something that she'd hate me for years down the road in both our lives, and she promised me she would never feel that way. Skip to this weekend, she's out of town with a friend and her parents and has a family friend bring up singing and mentions how if she wanted to get into it she'd have to work at it now. She calls me to tell me she is basically back onto her dreams, but now it basically shakes everything up for what we were planning, and I don't know exactly how I feel. One one hand I feel like my love and loyalty to her is being abused, I mention how I'd barely see her because of college and her singing work, and she just says "you'd come to visit"... as if college is something to simply brush off to fly across the state. On the other hand I want to support her in everything she does, I mean I told her when she practically said she was giving up her dreams I didn't want her to.I don't know what I should say or what I should do... I don't even know how I should feel... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, sunandstars  +, writes (30 May 2011):
Maybe you two going to the same college wouldn't be a good idea anyway, college is about meeting new people and growing up, perhaps if you both went you'd be clinging to each other and everything would be the same so you wouldn't grow up and you wouldn't be meeting as many new people. Perhaps it's a good idea her fulfilling her dreams. Every relationship needs breathing time, and you can still see her. You seem like a very caring guy, and I wish you two the best of luck!
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