A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I'm 14, and I've been texting this guy that I have romantic feelings for. Let's call him J. Problem is, J has a girlfriend, specifically someone I know and who is nice to me. I may sound cruel, but they are in no way compatible, and I've continued flirting with J throughout the week in which his relationship has taken place. J has also hinted that he wants to hang out with me over break, just us. Should I accept his offer, or not? He did seem to like me before he asked his current girlfriend out, but I'm not sure if he was trying to send me messages or what. Any advice from anyone?
View related questions:
flirt, has a girlfriend, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, sunandstars  +, writes (19 December 2011):
To you it may not seem like they are compatible, but I'm sure you don't know them both impossibly well, so you can't really make a judgement on their relationship. If the girl is a person you are friendly with, you shouldn't try and break up her relationship, I've had this done to me, and trust me, it's horrible to deal with. If you are actually just going to hang out as friends then he should ask his girlfriend if it's okay and you should also ask her, just to prevent any rumours developing if any sees you etc. If they break up then fine, go for it, but don't try and break up a relationship, it's not worth the hassle; if it's meant to be it will come.
Best of luck!
A
female
reader, sunandstars +, writes (19 December 2011):
To you it may not seem like they are compatible, but I'm sure you don't know them both impossibly well, so you can't really make a judgement on their relationship. If the girl is a person you are friendly with, you shouldn't try and break up her relationship, I've had this done to me, and trust me, it's horrible to deal with. If you are actually just going to hang out as friends then he should ask his girlfriend if it's okay and you should also ask her, just to prevent any rumours developing if any sees you etc. If they break up then fine, go for it, but don't try and break up a relationship, it's not worth the hassle; if it's meant to be it will come.
Best of luck!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2011): You really need to put yourself in Js GFs shoes. IF it were you and you were dating J and he was talking to some other girl and wanting to hang with her, how would it make you feel?
What I don't like about J, he already is exhibiting using young women to feed his need for attention and affection.
His GF wont' be around so he will subsitute you? Then she gets back then what?
How we chose to govern ourselves today, when it comes to dating and relationships, says a lot about how we will be when we are older.
Are you and J going to be faithful, monogamous to the people you date? Or are you going to go after what you want and hurt others?
I say leave him alone. You tell him he doesn't get to treat any girl like a play thing. He needs to be honest NOW or not DATE AT ALL.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2011): Do you really want to be with a guy who's willing to do things behind his girlfriend's back? Who says he wouldn't do the same thing to *you* if the two of you were in a relationship instead? It's up to J to decide whether he's compatible with his girlfriend or not. If yes, he should stop flirting back with you, because it's not fair on either you or his girlfriend. If no, he needs to let his girlfriend go. He can't have his cake and eat it too!I wouldn't accept his offer, to be honest. If he's even thinking about starting something with you, he has to do it as a single man. I think you should stop flirting with him and see how he responds; if he wants to be with you, he'll end his current relationship. Don't actively encourage that though - he has to make a decision of his own free will. If he decides to stay with his girlfriend though, move on and find someone who'll be dedicated to you and you alone. Don't settle for being the "other woman" - you're worth more than that :) Good luck and take care x
...............................
|
