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... Send *tarismine1 a private message | | | *tarismine1's profile:Hi everyone, I've been there, and I know what it's like to have crushes on guys who don't care about you, date guys who are verbally abusive, date addicts and alcoholics, play hard to get and still not get the guy, and blame myself for scaring a guy off by having sex "too soon". I now know that it's all about my attitude, and I want to share my philosophy about dating with all of you. I believe women are confused by the dating myths and rules that don't work in today's dating world. I share many of my views about dating, finding Mr. Right and true love on my relationship advice website www.isthistruelove.com so I welcome all of you to read more by clicking on my link below. It's my goal to empower women to feel good about their needs and desires when they date guys. I enjoy reading what all of you have to say, dear cupid is a great site! |
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| Latest articles: Understanding Your Need for Attention
No replies yet... 19 September 2008: Are You A Female Attention Addict? If so, here is an example of a typical day in your life: It's morning, and time to put on my make up, fix my hair, and wear a new outfit. I'm thinking about the female friend I'll see today who'll comment on ...
Wanting a Guy to Lust After Us
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
9 September 2008: Wanting Guys to Lust After Us It’s like an addictive fix, wanting a guy to lust after us. There is an adrenaline rush of pleasure when they lust after us; it makes us feel beautiful, like we are the only one on the planet. But there is a d...
A day in the mind of an attention addict
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
6 September 2008: A Day in the Mind of an Attention Addict It's morning, and time to put on my make up, fix my hair, and wear a new outfit. I'm thinking about the female friend I'll see today who'll comment on how nice it is and I feel an adrenaline rush, Now I'...
Be careful about the shallow rules on dating!!
No replies yet... 27 August 2008: Dating Rules: Are they a Girl’s Worst Enemy? As women, we are bombarded by books, friends and the TV media telling us what dating “rules” to follow to determine whether a guy is treating us well. These rules tell us whether he’s Mr. Right materi...
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How can he really love me if he's with someone else?
Q. I really need help! Jusge me if you want but I was 16 at the time and naive now I am stuck! I started to see this guy when I was 16, he was bit older than me. When we first went on a date he told me he had a girlfriend and like an idiot i carried on ...
A. 20 September 2008: You deserve to be with a guy who loves you and is free to do it and give you everything you deserve in life. But if you can't cut this married guy out of your life, seek professional help to delve into the issues why and to get the help you need to ... (read in full...)
I have some trust issues, and I don't know if this is destroying my relationship.
Q. Hello, thanks in advance for reading my letter and I apologize because the english is not my first language. First of all I am in a relationship with this wonderfull guy for like 7 months. In many ways we are alike, but in other ways we are extr...
A. 20 September 2008: Your relationship has changed from one where you were 2 hours away and saw each other once a week to now you are close enough to be together more every other day. So you moved closer and now you initiate the calls to get together and you feel like ... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm crap at everything I do. Does anyone else ever feel like this?
Q. Hi, im 25 and have a fairly comfortable life, nice parents and a wonderful boyfriend, so i feel stupid writing this, but i sometimes wonder what purpose i have in life. i mean im not particulary good at anything, i dont have a talent and even tho...
A. 20 September 2008: You need to connect inside yourself, and that often takes a long time traveling life's journey, but here are some tips on doing this: see things about yourself that are really great. I see them and I don't even know you. Here they are:
1) you care... (read in full...)
Did any of you girls find your prince charming after jerks like this?
Q. I have been with this guy that I lost my virginity to for a couple of months. He told me that he was studying to be a lawyer and therefore too busy to have a serious relationship, but i foolishly kept sleeping with him hoping that he will change his ...
A. 19 September 2008: yes, you will definitely forget about him in time and find someone who cares about you, and yes it does hurt to feel like you were being used for sex, the first time and even the 50th time (as some women have found and hopefully you never will). The ... (read in full...)
Did any of you girls find your prince charming after jerks like this?
Q. I have been with this guy that I lost my virginity to for a couple of months. He told me that he was studying to be a lawyer and therefore too busy to have a serious relationship, but i foolishly kept sleeping with him hoping that he will change his ...
A. 19 September 2008: yes, you will definitely forget about him in time and find someone who cares about you, and yes it does hurt to feel like you were being used for sex, the first time and even the 50th time (as some women have found and hopefully you never will). The ... (read in full...)
Wanting a Guy to Lust After Us
Q. Wanting Guys to Lust After Us It’s like an addictive fix, wanting a guy to lust after us. There is an adrenaline rush of pleasure when they lust after us; it makes us feel beautiful, like we are the only one on the planet. But there is a d...
A. 14 September 2008: I guess I really stirred the pot on this one! My article was to bring attention what I find an ever growing problem for young girls today who have low self esteem: they feel the need to so desperately fit in by getting a boyfriend to the point of ... (read in full...)
Wanting a Guy to Lust After Us
Q. Wanting Guys to Lust After Us It’s like an addictive fix, wanting a guy to lust after us. There is an adrenaline rush of pleasure when they lust after us; it makes us feel beautiful, like we are the only one on the planet. But there is a d...
A. 10 September 2008: You are very fortunate to have had such positive experiences in your life but you missed the entire point of my article and perhaps you are missing what's going on with young girls today high school age. There are many girls giving guys BJ's just ... (read in full...)
Was this really a one-night stand?
Q. Am so confused! 2 year ago i met a guy n we became friends. last year we were invited 2 a party n he showed more interest in me. later that night we went 2 his place, he wanted sex n i said NO. We kept in touch n 2 weeks ago i went 2 his place n we ...
A. 10 September 2008: If after a 2nd date you have sexual relations and then you tell a guy you want to take things to the next level, I assume you are referring to commitment of just dating each other. Most guys find this a pressure on them they don't want to live up ... (read in full...)
These girls that hate me for no reason have been filling his head with stuff! What's going on with him?
Q. In order to answer this question, you have to read this one: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-have-no-clue-what-hes-thinking-does.html Okay, today something else happened. A few weeks ago, I wrote a blog on my myspace and there are 4 gir...
A. 10 September 2008: You sound like you are outspoken and opinionated and have the guts to speak your mind, which I highly admire about you. But at the same time, you do not own up to the consequences of your behavior. Do you really believe these girls are shutting you ... (read in full...)
How do I cope with my husband's reaction to my past?
Q. I met my husband when I was 17. I told him I was a virgin but I wasn't. Below is the story. Its a bit long but you need to understand the circumstances. Please bear with it I really need some good advice. At just 16, I met a 23 year old guy ...
A. 10 September 2008: You have been emotionally raped by men your entire life including your husband who you mistakely call your soul mate. When someone truly loves you and is your soul mate, they accept everything about you because they understand you. That means they ... (read in full...)
What's the best way to tell her I fancy her?
Q. me and my girlfriend split up a few days ago, and now i have a full on crush with one of my girl mates. ive know this girl mate for 2 years she use to date one of my friends but we are both single now, her n her partner split up the same day as me n ...
A. 10 September 2008: I would contact her and ask her out on a date. Yes, it's that simple.... (read in full...)
What does it mean when someone kisses you on the head?
Q. im gonna explain this in brief, it was a week since i have last seen him, today, we go out a bunch of us, as we are waiting for a friend, for different reasons, the guy i like(and i am starting to think likes me back) get out of the car, then he ...
A. 10 September 2008: His behavior shows me he knows you like him and he knows that he can touch you and flirt with you and enjoy the attention your liking him is giving him and do things that stimulate his sexual fantasies about you. Kissing you on the forehead has no ... (read in full...)
How should I flirt with him without looking desperate?
Q. I'm almost 17 and i never had a relationship before... Now i have a crush on guy that we are on the same class and we' re sitting sometimes together, but i don't know what to do, how to approach him. I'm afraid that i'm gonna make fool of myself. Do ...
A. 10 September 2008: He can probably sense you like him, these kinds of things are hard to hide, even though we may not consciously realize we send out the signals. Usually when we have a "crush" on a guy we act more inhibited around him, avert our eyes, giggle more, ... (read in full...)
Should I tell him I made a mistake for breaking up or should I just try to move on?
Q. seven months ago i broke up with my bf coz he wasnt paying atention 2 me. since then i havent been able 2 date,am stil madly in luv wit him. i think abt him a lot n it is very painful coz i dont think he misses even though he calls me once in a ...
A. 10 September 2008: I'm not convinced the reason you give for the breakup is the real reason, most women who feel their boyfriend isn't giving them enough attention are usually not the ones who break up with them. Did he date other women? You need to be more honestt ... (read in full...)
I am feeling like a FOOL!
Q. A long distance relationship for the past 8 months; how foolish! I believed and hoped; yes, I wanted to believe that all will be well and that he will come to visit as promised and arranged for the last month. However, like so many times the ...
A. 9 September 2008: I wouldn't be so hard on yourself. Any woman can fall victim to the pleasure and ego stroking that attention and desire from another man gives you. What usually happens in long distance internet relationships is that we fantasize more about the ... (read in full...)
He has so many pictures of him and this other girl - what should I do?
Q. Hi all, So I've been dating my present boyfriend for almost one year, I'd say maybe just around a month off from it. I'm 19, hes 20. Anyways, I recently stumbled upon pictures of him and this other girl, its not any inappropriate picture, but its ...
A. 9 September 2008: If you feel pictures of this other girl mean more to him than they should, then you are probably feeling a lack of interest from him that should be there. It's not about the pictures and whether he has too many or displays them too prominently. It's ... (read in full...)
He has so many pictures of him and this other girl - what should I do?
Q. Hi all, So I've been dating my present boyfriend for almost one year, I'd say maybe just around a month off from it. I'm 19, hes 20. Anyways, I recently stumbled upon pictures of him and this other girl, its not any inappropriate picture, but its ...
A. 9 September 2008: If you feel pictures of this other girl mean more to him than they should, then you are probably feeling a lack of interest from him that should be there. It's not about the pics, it's about how they make you feel, and if anything a guy does or ... (read in full...)
How close should I be as a friend?
Q. This guy said he liked me. then said he didn't. i found out it was cause of another girl. we're still good friends. but now he's dating the other girl. how close should i be as as friend?...
A. 9 September 2008: Do you want to be more than a friend with him? What do you consider being a guys friend to be about? Hanging out, going to movies, parties, touching, hugging, sex? It's all very subjective, what a girl considers friendship with a guy to be. Many ... (read in full...)
Twosome that became dissapointing threesomes...
Q. I am a middle aged woman with a married girlfriend (I have known her before she got married) we like to party and her hubby don’t mind at first it was only her and I satisfying each other, her hubby has known about us before they got married and he ...
A. 9 September 2008: It doesn't seem like you are getting any sexual fulfillment from this threesome, and yet you feel guilty about saying so. Perhaps you need to start believing you deserve more out of life than making other people feel good and start speaking up for ... (read in full...)
I have a girlfriend but want to be with my cousin?
Q. I am 27yrs old guy i am very much atracted towards my cousin who is 17yrs old. Every time i see her i feel to make love with her.I have a girlfriend and we have sex when ever we get a chance. But then also when ever I see my cousin i dont know what ...
A. 9 September 2008: Do yourself a favor and stay as far away from your cousin as possible. Feelings like this are common, but the consequencese will make your life hell. It sounds like you really care about your girlfriend, is it worth loosing her over some ... (read in full...)
My husband still contacts this fmale friend after he promised not to!
Q. I found out my hubby had a female 'friend' and although he says nothing happened ever, I overheard him discussing her with his brother. Also I found other overwhelming evidence that he was infact having an affair with her. We went for counselling, ...
A. 9 September 2008: He refers to this woman as a female friend, which means he intends to keep a friendship with her. What was the reason the friendship started in the first place and how did he meet her and get to know her? Does he tell you he's happy in the marriage? ... (read in full...)
She kissed another guy? Should I forgive her?
Q. I have been going out with a girl for 2 months now, but i have recently found out that at the very beginning of our relationship, she kissed another guy. She was very drunk and couldn't even remember it, her friend had to tell her. Should i ever ...
A. 9 September 2008: Beware of women who get drunk and kiss, flirt and touch other men. Or who bask in the attention of other men in front of you. You can tell by the look on her face, the expression in her eyes, and how her mind wanders over to where other men sit to ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to change his mind?
Q. The man i'm dating although he is caring for me and he shows his feelings he constantly refuses that there will be a serious commitment for us in the future. When we discuss this subject always he refuses a future for us. Is there a possibility to ...
A. 8 September 2008: How does he show you his feelings? Does he tell you he loves you? Do you have sexual intimacy? Is his not wanting a serious relationship due to his lack of feelings for you or due to a commitment issue? My hunch is that it is a commitment issue. ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to change his mind?
Q. The man i'm dating although he is caring for me and he shows his feelings he constantly refuses that there will be a serious commitment for us in the future. When we discuss this subject always he refuses a future for us. Is there a possibility to ...
A. 8 September 2008: How does he show you his feelings? Does he tell you he loves you? Do you have sexual intimacy? Guys get serious or commit to women based on 2 conditions, the 1st: they feel they love the woman and theh 2nd: the timing in their life is right for ... (read in full...)
Do I miss him or do I just miss having a relationship?
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend a few monthes ago but now i think i miss him. I was wondering how you can tell if you miss the guy or if you just miss having a boyfriend?...
A. 7 September 2008: When you miss someone because you love them, you know it. If you have to ask the question, then you miss the attention, the comfort of not feeling lonely or alone and you miss being wanted. So yes, you miss having a boyfriend. But another is soon to ... (read in full...)
My wife isn't attracted to me anymore and cheated on me, can we make this work?
Q. my wife(together 5 years married oe year)says she isent attracted to me anymore, and that she loves me but isnt in love with me and had felt that way for a long time. i knew we had our differences but i did not see this coming. i asked her if there...
A. 7 September 2008: Your wife's need to cheat on you is due to emotional issues and insecurities she has with herself, which has nothing to do with you or the marriage. When you marry a woman who needs sex with another man to feel good about herself, she will often use ... (read in full...)
How can I separate my eldest son and his aunty?
Q. I am the mother of three teenaged boys and also have a recently divorced sister with two teenaged girls. There has always been frequent contact between our families, and my boys have always been regular visitors to my sister. A while ago, my two y...
A. 7 September 2008: It is your fear of hurting people that is enabling this situation to exist. At some level, you seem very accepting of it all. Perhaps you have experienced incest yourself? I would definitely get counseling with your minister at the very least, if ... (read in full...)
My guy says he's not falling in love with me.
Q. Ok, I'm not sure exactly what I'm looking for as far as "answers" but here goes. After dating a great guy for 3 months 3 days ago he told me he couldn't figure out why, but he wasn't falling in love with me. It's just so confusing because we would ...
A. 7 September 2008: It's unfortunately the way commitment phobic men are, they want to see you constantly and suddenly out of nowhere they don't, and when you cool things and act like you've moved on, they show up at your doorstep interested in youo again. To me, the ... (read in full...)
My guy says he's not falling in love with me.
Q. Ok, I'm not sure exactly what I'm looking for as far as "answers" but here goes. After dating a great guy for 3 months 3 days ago he told me he couldn't figure out why, but he wasn't falling in love with me. It's just so confusing because we would ...
A. 7 September 2008: It's unfortunately the way commitment phobic men are, they want to see you constantly and suddenly out of nowhere they don't, and when you cool things and act like you've moved on, they show up at your doorstep begging you back. To me, the most ... (read in full...)
I married too young but is it too late to get out?
Q. Hello, I'm 20 years old and I got married when I was 18. I have never been on my own and I've always had to depend on my husband. Now after just two years of marriage, we don't talk any more because if we do we argue. He always talks about how ...
A. 7 September 2008: everything in life is about baby steps that lead to giant leaps, have your friends pick you up and go out occassionally to regroup and enjoy life. Get that drivers license so you are emotionally independent (physical dependence on others for driving ... (read in full...)
How can I separate my eldest son and his aunty?
Q. I am the mother of three teenaged boys and also have a recently divorced sister with two teenaged girls. There has always been frequent contact between our families, and my boys have always been regular visitors to my sister. A while ago, my two y...
A. 6 September 2008: just one more thing to add..go by your gut feelings about this, and your other sons intuitions or what they 've seen or sensed, and do not put much credence on your nieces comments, since they may be emotionally brainwashed by their mother to stay ... (read in full...)
How can I separate my eldest son and his aunty?
Q. I am the mother of three teenaged boys and also have a recently divorced sister with two teenaged girls. There has always been frequent contact between our families, and my boys have always been regular visitors to my sister. A while ago, my two y...
A. 6 September 2008: Where is your husband - the father of your son in all this? I would go to him and have him straighten your son out. You are very emotionally invested in this, being that you love both your son and sister, and you may be dead on right about what's ... (read in full...)
My guy says he's not falling in love with me.
Q. Ok, I'm not sure exactly what I'm looking for as far as "answers" but here goes. After dating a great guy for 3 months 3 days ago he told me he couldn't figure out why, but he wasn't falling in love with me. It's just so confusing because we would ...
A. 6 September 2008: Did you ask him if he loved you, or did you tell him you loved him and then he told you he wasn't in love with you? I would say that he is commitment phobic and only falls for women he can't have or women who aren't really into him. He probably also ... (read in full...)
I married too young but is it too late to get out?
Q. Hello, I'm 20 years old and I got married when I was 18. I have never been on my own and I've always had to depend on my husband. Now after just two years of marriage, we don't talk any more because if we do we argue. He always talks about how ...
A. 6 September 2008: It sounds to me like you need to find more fulfilling things to do with your life so that you don't depend on him to fulfill you emotionally in ways he can't. That means socializing with female friends and doing things you have an interest in by ... (read in full...)
I married too young but is it too late to get out?
Q. Hello, I'm 20 years old and I got married when I was 18. I have never been on my own and I've always had to depend on my husband. Now after just two years of marriage, we don't talk any more because if we do we argue. He always talks about how ...
A. 6 September 2008: It sounds to me like you need to find more fulfilling things to do with your life so that you don't depend on him to fulfill you emotionally in ways he can't. That means socializing female friends and doing things you have an interest in by joining ... (read in full...)
My sister makes my life hell! Why is she doing this to me?
Q. I highly doubt I could explain years of a corrupted relationship with my sister in a few short paragraphs but ill give it a shot! I am 17 years old and I have a 19 year old sister who makes it her living goal to attempt to make my life hell. Many ...
A. 6 September 2008: It is very unfortunate for you that you are being subjected to this kind of verbal and physical abuse from your sister. It sounds to me like she has what is called "borderline personality disorder". You may want to read up on this to see if the ... (read in full...)
My sister makes my life hell! Why is she doing this to me?
Q. I highly doubt I could explain years of a corrupted relationship with my sister in a few short paragraphs but ill give it a shot! I am 17 years old and I have a 19 year old sister who makes it her living goal to attempt to make my life hell. Many ...
A. 6 September 2008: It is very unfortunate for you that you are being subjected to this kind of verbal abuse from your sister. It sounds to me like she may have a borderline personality disorder. You may want to read up on this and see if she fits the symptoms. Have ... (read in full...)
My ex has a girlfriend, but still has sex with me. What do I do?
Q. Hi, I still love my ex but he's got a girlfriend and he keeps coming up to me for sex. He keeps telling me that he loves me. I have a daughter by him, and i'm not taking the pill. The sex with him is great. What do i do? ...
A. 5 September 2008: I agree with most of the posts, but I would also venture to say that you are both emotionally tied to each other because what he is doing is controlling you emotionally and treating you abusively. He is also using you for sex because he sounds like ... (read in full...)
Why do lonely people looking for love stay single?
Q. I'm nearly 25 and haven't had a proper girlfriend. I remember back when i was 15 and my best mate got with the girl i liked and how terrible i felt. i moped for weeks. then about a year later - i was seeing a girl (if you can call it that) for about ...
A. 5 September 2008: If you always feel lonely, you will be lonely. You say you have friends who see you as happy go lucky, so you have friends, right? Why then feel so lonely? The person you feel you are inside may not be the person you project on the outside. It would ... (read in full...)
I'm fed up thinking about my ex and I don't like him anymore. Why can't I let him go?
Q. How can I just stop making myself feel awful thinking about my ex boyfriend all the time? It's been 11 months since the break up. Happened because I found out he'd been seeing other women throughout our 2 n half years together. It completely ...
A. 5 September 2008: Your ex fulfilled your emotional need to feel wanted so that you can feel good about yourself. So every call, every contact, every "he's gone, now he's back, over and over again" scenario fills that void in you. It's a tough thing to need someone ... (read in full...)
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