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... Send *onOfMan a private message | | | *onOfMan's profile:I have been privileged enough to see things and go through various experiences in my life. My opinion is based on my experience, upbringing and other influences. You may or may not find my answers helpful (nice if you do) but as long as they make you think then it's a job well done.
I'm now in a wonderful relationship with myself as well as a wonderful woman who I am lucky enough in my life.
The grass on the other side can be any colour you want it to be. You're in control of it. |
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One minute I think he likes me and the next I have no idea.
Q. I met this guy at a uni class I go to every week a few weeks ago and I am so confused! One minute I think he likes me and the next I have no idea. He insists on walking me home as class finishes late and it is dark, we have gone out for a drink ...
A. 17 February 2012: I think the next time you meet, when there is no rush, when you are both just chilling and relaxed; you should talk to him openly about how you feel.
Find out what he wants and explain your confusion. This is the best way to clear up any concerns... (read in full...)
How do I deal with built up hatred for my ex? He just went missing when I told him I was pregnant and he never cared to check on me until months later
Q. It has been about 4 years since I had an abortion. I had gotten pregnant by my ex. I had also gotten sick around the time I was pregnant. I had to make a choice to have surgery for my illness and lose the baby..or stay sick and keep it..I ...
A. 17 February 2012: You had choices to make and you made the one which suited your circumstances at the time. A choice which you obviously thought was right.
It's not right that he wasn't there. It seems selfish and inconsiderate. I think it's down to you to make tha... (read in full...)
Why do some guys behave like this?
Q. Dear friends, i am a bit perplexed with regard to the behaviour of some guys who i think like getting satisfaction from humiliating others. I met this guy three months ago, we enxanged phone numbers and he asked me to call him (so as not distu...
A. 15 February 2012: He either already has a girlfriend and was trying to fit you in between being with her or like you said, he wanted a one night stand and wasn't getting it that easily off you.
Guys like that usually have a few girls "on the go" and always chase (a... (read in full...)
Does he like me or is he just being nice?
Q. So there's this guy at my school. He's a Senior and I'm a Freshman. Every time I see him, he's usually looking at me. A couple days ago, we were both in our separate group of friends next to each other. My sister Kayla knows that I have a crush on ...
A. 15 February 2012: Well you've already made eye contact and communicated, which is a good start.
Now you can arrange to meet and talk, get to know each other. It's up to you when and how you want to progress with this.
The ice has already been broken. Maybe ju... (read in full...)
I am becoming an angry person around my husband. What can I do to change this?
Q. Hello I have been married for 3 yrs. I'm at home and even though I don't work I do everthing and I take care of our baby. He goes to school Monday and wed all day and I don't see him till 9ish. I miss him a lot and find that I'm lonely but every ti...
A. 15 February 2012: Communication is key, when you find yourself getting irritated try to nip it in the bud before it gets to full blown anger.
You have to realize that you are in control of the situation, as much as it might seem strange or far fetched. I look at ... (read in full...)
Even though I've told the guy I like that it would never work, I can't stop thinking about him
Q. Dear Agony aunts. I have some trouble with a guy I really like. He likes me, and I like him too, but we have some communication issues. This is really not much of a problem though. The problem is however, that I'm scared that a relationship between ...
A. 15 February 2012: It sounds like you have unresolved issues which will probably be on your mind unless you address it.
You need to speak to the person you like and be honest about your feelings. This will clear things up and let him know what you are thinking... (read in full...)
Girlfriend always dreaming of having sex with other men!
Q. i am 22 year old, and i've been with my girl friend for the last two years, and lately maybe i didn't notice before but every night she is dreaming about some different guy she having sex with, when ever i ask she tell me, but if i don't she leave ...
A. 10 February 2012: Well, that's a new one to me. Especially how it's happening on a regular basis.
U sure she's not just pretending to make you paranoid and give you a reason to spit up?
The best thing to do is talk to her about it and find out what she's dream... (read in full...)
How can I get my girlfriend back?
Q. my first girlfriend of 8 years just left me saying its because we have never dated others before. I absolutely love this girl and understand that what she says is a valid reason. However i feel she only thinks this because i was not the best partner ...
A. 10 February 2012: So strange reading that because that's exactly what happened to me, and we were together for the same time you were! I tried to salvage the relationship by talking to her. I tried to make her realize that she is making a mistake and was willing ... (read in full...)
Why does this guy act like he likes me when he has a girlfriend?
Q. I have a guy friend and we joke around but I like him as a friend. He teases and makes jokes about me. The other night I think he'd been drinking. He came up to me and was trying to get my attention. I asked him what he wanted and he said he wanted ...
A. 10 February 2012: Sometimes the boundaries can get a little blurred especially with guys, as most of us tend to "look" and some take it further with cheating and sleeping around.
I think there's always a tendency with guys to flirt around with girls they know bec... (read in full...)
Teenagers on a first date. Where to go?
Q. Hey everyone. Okay, so I finally met a really nice girl in my school. I love her more than anything! And she actually likes me too! (sorry if I seem excited, I've never had a gf before). But I have one problem...I don't know where to take her for ...
A. 10 February 2012: G - you can either surprise her or agree on a place together. It's about the company and you both enjoying your time together wherever it may be.
Why not start with a classic dinner, maybe a movie. If it's outdoors then a nice walk somewher... (read in full...)
How can I give my boyfriend pleasure without actually having sex?
Q. can someone tell me how I can make more pleasure my boy without sex?we don't have sex I am virgin. in my country it is not normal before merriag have sex.but my bf want this and i can not please help me and tell me can I make more pleasure without ...
A. 9 February 2012: First of all you shouldn't feel pressured into doing anything you're not comfortable with or don't really want to do. The rule of having no sex before marriage is there for a reason, but unfortunately very few people have the ability to understand ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid I inadvertently told him to back off and ruined everything with my dumb response!
Q. Going to try to keep this short--need some insight on how I can rectify this situation. I'm a 30 year old female, really like a guy who's 39. Due to our current situation, we can't fully say we have feelings for each other, but the signs have k...
A. 8 February 2012: If it means that much to you, the only thing to do it to talk to him openly about it and see where things go.
You're asking the right questions which means you have direction to go. All that's missing is the action. Emailing is fine but when it ... (read in full...)
Why are his responses getting shorter? Is he into me or not?
Q. I had what appears to be a nice guy message me on a dating site. He initiated the contact, so that's a plus in my book. We've each replied once a day for a few days. I'm keeping it light and trying to ask him questions to get more info out of him. ...
A. 8 February 2012: There may be many reasons why. He may be bored with just emails and wants to talk or meet, he may already be in a relationship, he may be emailing several girls and is deciding which one suits him more (depending on what he wants out of it)...and do ... (read in full...)
If a guy writes that he is in love with you on his status message on facebook, do you think he really means it?
Q. If a guy writes that he is in love with you on his status message on facebook, do you think he really means it?.He has told me that in person too. Would he only want everyone on his facebook page to see it if he really meant it?...
A. 8 February 2012: Saying stuff is all fine and well but he needs to show it. I've never done anything like that and personally it's not something I would do.
I'm very much in love with my partner and try to show her at all times through my actions. I don't need fac... (read in full...)
I really would like to just go up and talk to this girl but I don't know how, nor can I work up the courage to say hello
Q. I have recently began seeing this girl at different functions at my out of school activities. Being at an all boy school, I do not get as much girl interaction, but when ever I see her at events, I just gawk over her beauty. I know that I am n...
A. 8 February 2012: Time will pass by and regret is not a nice thing to live with! Saying hi would be a good start so I guess if you can't say it to her then it's the first hurdle you'll have to jump. Maybe practice just saying hi to other girls you don't have crush... (read in full...)
Should I stop talking to my colleague?
Q. I'm having a bit of trouble with a colleague. I thought we got on well, we're the same age, enjoy similar things and spend time together out of work as well. However, he keeps on telling me things other people have said about me. He'll tell me bi...
A. 2 February 2012: I would. Some people have nothing better to do with their time than waste it in idle gossip and nonsense. You shouldn't have to put up with it. If there's anyone at work you can speak to then do it, maybe HR, your boss (depending on what he's lik... (read in full...)
How can I learn to more secure and trusting?
Q. I've posted questions here many times for help with my relationship and past... I've had some problems with my current girlfriend, and we recently took a break. I've always been suspicious of her, have issues with trust, but I realize now that I...
A. 1 February 2012: Something very similar happened to me and the best thing I did was to leave it and move on. Obviously every situation is different but at the end of the day you have to move on and get on with your own life. Everything happens for a reason, someti... (read in full...)
I'm afraid of being alone
Q. I'm afraid of being alone. When I don't have a guy giving me attention, I feel empty. If I don't have someone at the time pursuing me I find someone. It's not hard to find a sucker. I tried to be alone but when I feel like i want to be al...
A. 31 January 2012: I think what you do need is some time alone, as much as you hate it it sounds like you need it. Take some time to chill and enjoy yourself, build up that self confidence and don't rely on guys chasing you and telling you how beautiful you ar... (read in full...)
How can I learn to more secure and trusting?
Q. I've posted questions here many times for help with my relationship and past... I've had some problems with my current girlfriend, and we recently took a break. I've always been suspicious of her, have issues with trust, but I realize now that I...
A. 31 January 2012: I think you shouldn't disregard the "gut feeling" as it's there for a reason. We are all blessed to have this natural intuitive sense which sometimes helps us get out of trouble, even animals use it! If you think there's something wrong you have t... (read in full...)
Friends can't kiss... Right?
Q. Dear Cupid, Well, heres another update, a mind boggling one at that rate. I visited B around his again, we had fun and a few laughs and ended up on his sofa watching a film, we were cuddling my head resting on his chest. I felt him gently push me t...
A. 31 January 2012: Instead of thinking "should I talk to him first?" what you should be asking is "should I take charge of this situation?"
This way, the answer should easily become yes. It's a great way of taking charge of things that happen to us which sometime... (read in full...)
We exchanged numbers so who goes first?
Q. I'd rather guys opinion on this, but girls would also benefit. When a girl meets a guy on a night out and they exchange numbers, but neither of you said you will text each other. And it's been a few days later they haven't texted you, would you text ...
A. 30 January 2012: I think it would be great. If he's really that shy then he doesn't know what to say or doesn't have the courage to make the first move.
I wouldn't say you're needy because you haven't even contacted him yet. If you have been texting or calling ... (read in full...)
What is the true meaning of 'romance'?
Q. Hey everyone !! I have been confused about the true meaning of romance :\ me and my boyfriend have been together for over ten months now and are very happy together. The other day i asked my man if he like being romantic he said yes and that we ...
A. 30 January 2012: The traditional view of romance is usually full of gestures like gifts (flowers, chocolates etc). Then it goes on to dates, candlelit meals and kind gestures to make a woman feel wanted, appreciated and beautiful.
I guess it depends on the rela... (read in full...)
I like a much younger guy, and now he is flirting with me!
Q. I need advice on something. I told one of my friends that I liked a guy in our college class. The thing is that I'm 23 and he is 17...I told her I was embarrassed about it and that I couldn't help how I felt. I had to tell someone so I chose he...
A. 30 January 2012: Really depends what you want to do. I think if you're that serious about getting to know him then you should at least engage in some small talk and go out of your comfort zone to get to know him.
If he's like most 17 year old boys then he'll be... (read in full...)
Friends can't kiss... Right?
Q. Dear Cupid, Well, heres another update, a mind boggling one at that rate. I visited B around his again, we had fun and a few laughs and ended up on his sofa watching a film, we were cuddling my head resting on his chest. I felt him gently push me t...
A. 30 January 2012: You both have to ask yourselves the same questions really, because it's not one sided.
It may be awkward because you are friends and "boundaries" may have been momentarily crossed however the quicker you talk about it and clear the air the bett... (read in full...)
Am I sending mixed signals or is he just not interested?
Q. I met this guy online, he travelled miles to meet me and now that he's near, we only went on two dates and he went up north to join a course for three weeks. He emailed me saying he was sorry he didn't keep in touch (for a week) saying he had ...
A. 27 January 2012: I think if you are that frustrated about it and want answers then talk to him. Contact him and you him how interested you are and see what his reaction is.
With some guys you could wait a lifetime and not get a straight answer. If you think yo... (read in full...)
Now that I'm all warmed up he's put me on the back burner!
Q. There is this guy who I met online about 6 months ago, we chatted a couple of times, he liked all my profile photos and albums, he seems like a big fan of me and comments on my photos things like " very attractive" beautiful and such complements, ...
A. 27 January 2012: If alarm bells are ringing in your head then leave it and save yourself the hassle.
Try a more traditional method of dating and take it slow.... (read in full...)
Too much friction when I'm on top!
Q. When me and my boyfriend have sex we seem to have a friction problem he does not shave, but I do shave and any time I am on top he will eventually say ouch from feeling the friction. It usually happens even if I am cleanly shaven ,but defiantly when ...
A. 27 January 2012: To shave or not to shave? That certainly is the question. ... (read in full...)
Does dating get easier?
Q. Iv been on 2 dates now and got turned down by both girls when I ask them if they want to meet up again. Does this get any easier? I came out of a long time relationship a while ago and trying to get back into things but it seems SO HARD! im ...
A. 27 January 2012: I think if you read into it too much you will bring yourself down. Look at the other side of it, you may have saved yourself a lot of hassle from getting to know someone you are not compatible with.
Things always happen for a reason, we just hav... (read in full...)
I am tempted to have sex with my ex. He is flirting with me and I really would like to respond! Please advice?
Q. Hey guys, I'm getting tempted by my ex and don't want to cheat on my bf, what should I do? My ex sends me racy FB and text messages, and has asked for/sent me pictures of himself in various stages of undress, telling me what he would do to me if we ...
A. 25 January 2012: Seriously?
You know what you SHOULD be doing....It is hard to do the right thing....it does make you a better person when you do....we all think about "what if" but it doesn't mean we act on it and take it further...then do the right thing fo... (read in full...)
He puts his arms around me and makes a lot of sexual comments. Any idea why he's acting this way?
Q. Does this guy like me? I have a friend that I've known for a couple of years but recently he's started acting differently and I'm not sure why. My friends all think it's because he like me but I think he might just be doing it to get a reacti...
A. 25 January 2012: Couple of reasons.
Maybe he does see you in a different way now and wants to take it further. You have to ask him and find out if you are uncomfortable.
Maybe he is so comfortable around you, the "friendship" boundaries have become blurred. ... (read in full...)
I can't bring myself to ring and invite him out, so how can I move things on?
Q. I have a big crush on a man I use to work with. It started with him and I have now left over a year and can not stop thinking about him. We are ion touch at xmas and I hinted a meeting but he did not response directly. Thinking of sending an an...
A. 25 January 2012: Like all things in life, it's in your hands. If you are thirsty you get yourself a drink, it doesn't come to you.
So it will move however fast or slow; and in whichever way you want to take it.
There's no harm in asking him or approaching him ... (read in full...)
I want more commitment and want to live with my B/f but he has no interest in it
Q. Hi, My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years. we love each other alot. I would really like to settle down soon and maybe think of having children. But I dont feel like we want the same things. I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to move i...
A. 25 January 2012: I was exactly the same as your boyfriend and it was part of the reason why my relationship ended. My ex wanted to settle down, move in together, get married and start a family.
Personally, I guess I wasn't ready mentally. I guess some people a... (read in full...)
How do I build my self-esteem and move on??
Q. I have a huge crush on one of my male friends. When I met him I thought he was attractive, but nothing else. he also showed some interest in me, but nothing major. Then he met one of my friends, and forgot all about me. I mean, we stayed friends, ...
A. 23 January 2012: I guess we all go through that (or something similar anyway). You don't need to be hard on yourself. From what you have said, it seemed like you had a window of opportunity to get to know the guy and be with him but you chose to keep a distance.
... (read in full...)
How do I get over my boredom with life??
Q. Wondering if anyone can provide some advice/suggestions on this. I'm happily in a relationship but I feel like things keep drifting along in life at the moment. There's a heap of exciting plans for the next couple years (wedding date is set, sta...
A. 23 January 2012: You're not alone there, sounds like exactly the same phase I went through.
One thing I can say is that it won't last (unless you let it). And clearly you are worried about it which means you want to change it and that's a start on the right tr... (read in full...)
I was told he liked me, but he hasn't called or texted in 3 days!
Q. So I like this guy. His friend that I work with told me that the guy likes me too. I gave his friend my number to give to him... 3 days ago. The guy hasn't called or texted or anything - but his friend still insists that he likes me. Should I make a ...
A. 20 January 2012: Well you should take control of the situation. Your friend did the first step but maybe the guy doesn't believe her or has another issue.
You need to find out for yourself by approaching him and finding out what's going on. It's a good way to b... (read in full...)
Is he into me or what?
Q. I have fancied this guy at university for a year now and although we haven't talked much through the year, we went on a dinner date a couple of days ago. We got a bit drunk after dinner and I went back to his and we kissed and cuddled all nigh...
A. 19 January 2012: Do whatever feels right, there are no set rules to this. If you get an urge to text then do it but its nice to talk and get to know a person that way.... (read in full...)
My chatroom guy keeps pulling me back in right when I think I've moved on. Help!
Q. well where to start. i met this guy online through a chatroom almost a year ago. at the time he was sleeping with someone, and i was properly single. we liked each other met and fell in love. however the problem is that we are of different ethnic ...
A. 19 January 2012: It goes back to what people have been saying. You know yourself and your partner and if you think the relationship is worth saving then talk about it and start making some decisions together. Otherwise just ignore whatever contact he makes with you ... (read in full...)
Is there any harm in his posting my picture on his wall with the caption "smitten"?
Q. I have met this guy once in person before, and we are supposed to be going on a date this week. He has posted my photo on his facebook wall without my permission. You can share photos on facebook. He wrote a comment underneath saying " smitten ! ". ...
A. 18 January 2012: I think we need to unplug from the matrix of facebook and get back to the real world.
If you are uncomfortable with your picture there then report it and have it removed, or ask him to remove it and tell him how you feel. Or you can take it as a ... (read in full...)
I think I'm addicted to internet porn!
Q. i am a man of 26 i have always loved porn and mosted fantasys i have tried to explore most of my sexual appertite but i feel its not enough i have a fiance that is 23 years old as much as i love her she just doesnt fufill my needs is this wrong of ...
A. 18 January 2012: The brain can get addicted to anything if you let it. It takes a lot of practice and dedication but you must have the willingness and desire to actually change.
Once you are honest with yourself and say you want to change then you are on the righ... (read in full...)
Should I try to talk with him?
Q. I have a crush at school and he's very shy and quiet. Normally, I would just be nice and say hi without being too excitable, we do not talk much at all obviously, because yknow it's only been a week and a half since I developed this crush and I ...
A. 18 January 2012: Why not? Instead of focusing on gaining the "epic fail badge", focus on the "badge of bravery" and just talk to him.
You don't need to go right into it, maybe just say hi, talk to him generally and maybe try to find times when he is not with his... (read in full...)
Is he into me or what?
Q. I have fancied this guy at university for a year now and although we haven't talked much through the year, we went on a dinner date a couple of days ago. We got a bit drunk after dinner and I went back to his and we kissed and cuddled all nigh...
A. 18 January 2012: Sounds like a love story in the making. Good luck.... (read in full...)
My chatroom guy keeps pulling me back in right when I think I've moved on. Help!
Q. well where to start. i met this guy online through a chatroom almost a year ago. at the time he was sleeping with someone, and i was properly single. we liked each other met and fell in love. however the problem is that we are of different ethnic ...
A. 17 January 2012: Simple - cut all ties with him. Be it telephone, email or whatever way you contact him.
He's on the internet for one thing; to lure girls and get an easy lay as and when he pleases. I don't mean to be judgmental about this but you say you try to s... (read in full...)
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