A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Going to try to keep this short--need some insight on how I can rectify this situation.I'm a 30 year old female, really like a guy who's 39. Due to our current situation, we can't fully say we have feelings for each other, but the signs have kind of been there and we're both very friendly to each other. The other night he kissed me on the cheek (there were other's around so may have been more friendly, but it felt like more). I was elated and emailed him on how great of a night I had. The next day he emailed back saying he enjoyed being with me too. I didn't email back because I was afraid of coming off annoying, and just enjoyed the thought that we liked each other. Well the next day I saw him and there were a bunch of people around, but he hugged me (not as close as normal) and asked me if I was ok. For some crazy reason, I said yes, but I said yes in a negative way. It came out more as a no with the way I said it. And he said 'oh ok' and has backed off ever since. I've tried emailing him again to say how much he means to me, how wonderful the weekend was (when he kissed me), etc, but he's been responding very neutral.I'm afraid I inadvertently told him to back off, and I know that's how it came off when I said 'I was ok' but that's not what I meant! I felt overjoyed from his kiss, email, and want him to realize that. Now I'm afraid he thinks I'm not interested in him and that I didn't like everything he's done. Is there anything I can do or say to get him to see this? Would he be turned off on the situation if I came clean to him on my feelings? We can't be together right now, but if I admitted my feelings to him, would he even believe me? I've been so stressed and depressed about this. I feel like I ruined the whole thing with my dumb response. My nerves get the best of me sometimes. Do I have a chance of 'getting him back'?
View related questions:
depressed Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2012): Thanks for the response, it was pretty much on target with what I thought I should probably do. Some of the logistics are hard though with the type of situation we're in, but somehow I'll let him know. I just feel like I blew any chance I had. It's like he made all the moves, and I rejected them all in that one statement. And that wasn't my intention at all. I'm just afraid even if I open up to him, he won't believe me b/c my actions said otherwise. :( But hopefully I'll get it together and talk to him in some way. Thanks so much for you help!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2012): So, what's the rest of the story? Why can't you be together? That's a huge piece of the puzzle here, and it is missing. Without knowing the facts you won't get good advice. Are one or both of you married?
...............................
A
male
reader, SonOfMan  +, writes (8 February 2012):
 If it means that much to you, the only thing to do it to talk to him openly about it and see where things go.
You're asking the right questions which means you have direction to go. All that's missing is the action. Emailing is fine but when it comes to real relationships there's nothing like a good old conversation, either face to face or telephone.
You need to make him aware of your feelings and what that night meant to you, find out if he had the same feelings. Most important of all is you have to make your intentions clear and he has to do the same.
Do you want to have a future with him? Is he the right guy? What does he want out of it? Log term/fling/sex?
All these questions and more have to be addressed in the right time to you are both clear of what you want to do in order to make the relationship progress.
...............................
|
