A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:well where to start. i met this guy online through a chatroom almost a year ago. at the time he was sleeping with someone, and i was properly single. we liked each other met and fell in love. however the problem is that we are of different ethnic backgrounds. he is white, i am asian. and coming from a strict asian family, meant i never stayed over, or stay late. things were great at the start, but cracks started t show when we stopped moving forward. and seven months down the line, i found out he had been msgin girls askin to sleep with him and flirting with them. i forgave him, and we got back together. however last week we broke up properly, with me ending things. and i changed my mind, but then he decided he did want to break up. we spoke all week thru texts, and met last week, where i was told he was talking to girls ago, paricutlarly one from work. the meeting ended bad, although i was still fighting to stay together. so that night he;s out, stop texts me, and i found out he's been kissing that girl. whenever i try and ignore him, he always txts me loads. yet when call and text him, he blanks them, taking ages to reply. whenever i feel i can move on, he drags me in, yet he doesnt care enough to tlak to me when i try. im going out my mind, please someone explain what i should do.
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broke up, chat room, fell in love, flirt, got back together, kissing, move on, talking to girls, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, SonOfMan  +, writes (19 January 2012):
 It goes back to what people have been saying. You know yourself and your partner and if you think the relationship is worth saving then talk about it and start making some decisions together. Otherwise just ignore whatever contact he makes with you until he gets the message.
Love ties us emotionally in ways we can't imagine and it's hard to let go, but it takes a strong will to move on from a relationship which is causing more harm than good.
You need to make the call and figure out what needs to be done, based on your own intuition and other people's advice.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi. Thanks for the replies. To answer your question yes we did sleep together but only with him as my bf, since breaking up we hadn't, and I wouldn't as i only do with someone who is my boyfriend. Not just anybody.
Everytime I start ignoring him. Not texting him he will send me texts. He says he doesn't know what he wants, that his heads a mess. He says he wants a proper relationship one I can't give him and yet he tells me if he was to get with anyone it would be me. I'm so confused and hurting so much from getting my hopes up. Everytime I try and forget him. I text him bk. But everyone is tellin me I need to move on, but how when he has my heart, I just hate the thought of him with other girls, which is what he'll do if I don't reply bk or am out him life.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (17 January 2012):
 So stop contacting him, block him, delete him, ignore him. You can't make him care.
He's not pulling you back in, you are LETTING him.
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A
male
reader, SonOfMan +, writes (17 January 2012):
Simple - cut all ties with him. Be it telephone, email or whatever way you contact him.
He's on the internet for one thing; to lure girls and get an easy lay as and when he pleases. I don't mean to be judgmental about this but you say you try to save it?
You can clearly see he's been after other women and God knows what he's been going behind your back. You need to have self belief and confidence and take charge of the situation.
You can't allow yourself to be lured by someone like this, you need to have more self worth. Personally I would move on as fast as possible. Busy yourself with more constructive people, hang out with friends, school, work whatever it takes for you to close this chapter and move one.
When we are down, confused, upset etc the only direction we can take is to gather ourselves, learn from the mistake, seek help and advice and better our lives.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2012): Look he doesn't care about you end of. You're someone else he's hoping to sleep with and that's about it. He's online purely to search for girls that will have sex with him. Out of interest was the 'not moving forward' another term for you two hadn't had sex yet?
Even if you got back together, even if you got serious, he'd still be sleeping around behind your back (I suspect he has already). By not replying to your texts he's trying to manipulate you. He's a player and he's not going to change.
You made the right decision to break up with him. So stop contacting him, delete/block him online and if you have to, change your phone number. This is obviously not a guy who cares for you.
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