A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello I have been married for 3 yrs. I'm at home and even though I don't work I do everthing and I take care of our baby. He goes to school Monday and wed all day and I don't see him till 9ish. I miss him a lot and find that I'm lonely but every time he is off we just fight over stupid stuff. For example, today I got bothered because I could not find a certain blouse for the baby so I made a mess in the drawer and he said, "Why are u doing that?" I said, "Leave me alone, I'm annoyed," and he kept trying to make it better by offering help. But me being annoyed changed to anger and we said stuff to one other and I don't wanna fight around our 5 month anniversary. Who will soon understand what's going on. I'm that person that's gets angry easily and I don't wanna be this person. My husband is great. We get on each others' nerves. Every since I had the baby I try to be clean but I have no time for anything, not even my self. I always rush. I have very low self-esteem. Any advice?????
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male
reader, SonOfMan  +, writes (15 February 2012):
 Communication is key, when you find yourself getting irritated try to nip it in the bud before it gets to full blown anger.
You have to realize that you are in control of the situation, as much as it might seem strange or far fetched. I look at it as I'm being annoyed, rather than something or someone is annoying me. That way, I can control the level of annoyance and think "No, I won't let it bug me...I'll deal with it".
Just be patient with yourself and calm yourself down before you take it to the next level.
We all argue and get annoyed in relationships, especially when babies are involved. There's a lot to take it and so much to do. Time just flies and you never seem to have any to yourself. Obviously when we bring a child into the world, the child has to take priority but with honest communication, self control and cooperation, you can look after the baby as well as your relationship without coming to blows over minor things.
It takes time, training and patience but it's necessary to learn how to overcome this now as there will be many more episodes when the child grows up and life starts throwing more problems your way.
A
female
reader, Raewyn  +, writes (14 February 2012):
Marriage and parental responsibility have happened quite quickly for you. How old is your baby? It is possible that you are suffering from depression and should possibly see your doctor and discuss your situation. Practical things you can do to alleviate your sense of isolation could include, joining a local Mother's group, sit down and make a plan for your days, set yourself tasks to complete tick them off and treat yourself when you have completed the list. Ask for support from friends and family, let them know you need help. Try to arrange time out by yourself or with your husband, by arranging for someone to babysit. Having a tidy house is difficult when your baby is young, you are experiencing a major life change in both your relationship with your partner and the way you see yourself. Try not to be so hard on yourself or your partner.
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