A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm afraid of being alone. When I don't have a guy giving me attention, I feel empty. If I don't have someone at the time pursuing me I find someone. It's not hard to find a sucker. I tried to be alone but when I feel like i want to be alone, its like the guys know it and pursue me more. I get used to that attention, that affection, the "you're so beautifuls" and "i miss yous" that I lose my goal of being alone and fall back into that pattern. The guys I meet seem to like this game of cat and mouse. Those that want to stick around get turned off by the fact that they're not the only ones in my life. I want to be with one person. I met that one person, and I thought he wanted what I did, until he cheated on me. I was alone for a while after that. Then an old flame came back into my life with big promises and now he's gone. But before he was gone, I ended up back with my cheating ex. Things with my cheating ex got extremely ugly and he realized that we're just not meant to be. But i miss him so much and its hard to get over it. Now I'm left here feeling very empty and hurt. I have a guy that's trying to hang out with me and get to know me, and I think he's a nice guy but I am sick of getting to know people. I'm sick of trying. All i want is to have the people I already know back in my life. I want my cheating ex even though he's a horrible person.
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male
reader, SonOfMan  +, writes (31 January 2012):
 I think what you do need is some time alone, as much as you hate it it sounds like you need it.Take some time to chill and enjoy yourself, build up that self confidence and don't rely on guys chasing you and telling you how beautiful you are.All that will happen at the right time, you shouldn't need to force it. As for running back to a failed relationship, I think it's a waste of time (generally). It failed for a reason and unless there's commitment from the both of you to try again then there's no point.It's natural to feel empty, lost, sad, unwanted etc. after a break up. Time is what you need to get over it and gather yourself. If you have good friends or family you can talk to that would be very helpful for you. Concentrate on other things for a while: study, career, family, good friends.If you really want time to yourself you should send the right message to people so they understand you want to be alone. If you are being chased by guys I think it's because you haven't made any clear boundaries for yourself.
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