A
male
age
30-35,
*manmcc
writes:my first girlfriend of 8 years just left me saying its because we have never dated others before. I absolutely love this girl and understand that what she says is a valid reason. However i feel she only thinks this because i was not the best partner and i got way to comfortable, partially because she let me by saying she would never leave me. im not blaming her i really feel it takes 2 to tango tho. Now here's where im at now. i really want to get advice on what I should do to show her that i realize my mistakes and am quickly on the road to becoming a better man. i realize i cant control her or what she thinks but i truely think she believes that we need to see other people. i think this is only because of my actions over the last year. i never was unfaithful or anything i am a really nice guy. basically she never had friends our whole 8 years so she heavily relied on me to be her friend as well as partner so u cant blame me that i somewhat got bored and started to not do everything she wanted all the time. i started to want some of my own time as well. i would say i still hung out with her often but it was always just sitting at home watching movies and stuff of that sort. so what i think happened is she got bored and decided that she wanted to date people more exciting. i really love this girl more than anything in the world and wish she had friends so this didnt have to happen so the time we spent was more special. she recently started hanging with her niece(a bad example) and this being her first taste of friends i am more than a little worried about the road she is going down. so how can get our relatioship back but into a stronger relationship with balance. i am very laid back and really dont mind her going out and having fun, i really trust her when were together. i just feel we were dealt a shit hand of cards in life and i want to do what i can to make my chances the best possible to get her back and to make her see its not completely my fault that she got bored. p.s. weve been broken up for a bit over a month Reply to this Question
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male
reader, SonOfMan  +, writes (10 February 2012):
 So strange reading that because that's exactly what happened to me, and we were together for the same time you were!I tried to salvage the relationship by talking to her. I tried to make her realize that she is making a mistake and was willing to give her as much time as she needed to think it over and try to resolve things.She had her mind set and we broke up. That was one of the worst times in my life. After the initial shock, we remained in contact as we thought we could be friends but eventually I realized the only person I was kidding is myself.It was one of the hardest times in my life but I decided to go cold turkey and end all ties. I used the next few months to concentrate on myself, do some self analysis and pick myself up again. Believe me, that was the best decision I made.Sometimes we make mistakes in life but what makes us better people is how much we learn and develop afterwards. Use the experience to analyse yourself and figure out what you want.Sometimes things happen for a reason, we don't know what it is and we feel lost. The truth is we have to make that reason. The reason I chose to move on is because I convinced myself I could better my life. And everything I want to achieve just came to be.I found someone else eventually and I am more happy than I have ever been. I got a better job, car etc. It's all about how you look at a situation and what you believe you can do.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2012): If you love something, let it go. And if it never comes back, it was never yours to begin with. You can tell her you are sorry and you still love her and admit to alk your mistakes, say whatcha wanna say, but thats all you can do. If she feels the same, she'll come back. And if you get her back, never let this happen again. Be the worlds best boyfriend, obviously you believe she deserves it, so give it to her.
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