We're separated but he still contacts my family..does this mean he still cares about me?
Q. Hi, I am separated of my husband. He asked me for space-time and I accepted it. That has been for 2 months and we never talk each other since he left the house. But I don't understand why he talks with my family?? My family live overseas and he c...
A. 10 February 2011: When I've had break ups they seemed to go one of two ways:
either the flames would be fanned just incase there is something there. I would never burn a bridge with people unless I was sur eI was never going back.
the other way of course is to... (read in full...)
I'm finally with my GF, but after fending off her vicious ex and a lot of drama in the past. How do I heal myself after all this?
Q. Alright, here is a quick background of myself. I moved around a lot as a kid, (parents divorced when I was 6), learned all about marriages from the multiple ones my mother has been part of. I am an intellectual, a man of principle, and an ...
A. 10 February 2011: I wish I had really good advice to give you. I myself have been in relationships that felt one sided in the committment department and it is always damaging.
It sucks for you because you realize that it's just an inner demon that you can't dr... (read in full...)
My own insecurities are ruining an otherwise great relationship.
Q. My own insecurities are ruining an otherwise great relationship. I have tried therapy several times and pray for help to overcome these terrible insecurites. I trust my man not to cheat on me and in all other ways. I am attractive and do not look ...
A. 6 February 2011: It feels so backwards for someone my age to give advice to someone who probably knows much more about it than I do. Let me instead just relay a personal experience. when I was in second grade I had a crush on a girl in my class. she sat across f... (read in full...)
How do I stop myself from gagging?
Q. Alright so I'm 18, my boyfriend is 20 and we have been dating for just over a year and a half. I have given him my virginity and he has given me his. I absolutely love having sex with him. We don't do it too often but when we do, it's so perfect. He ...
A. 1 February 2011: I would say overall it is not a big deal. But that's only because I have it. It's like money, never having money matters, once you have it who cares anymore.
Does oral sex matter to A relationship, no I don't think it is important. But since it... (read in full...)
Was naked with my ex...should I tell my girlfriend?
Q. So last night was my ex's 22nd birthday, so since we're still on good terms I went out with her and some of my old mutual friends. The night started off fairly well but as the night progressed I got more and more drunk (more so than I've gotten in ...
A. 30 January 2011: I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.
Good luck dude.... (read in full...)
Was naked with my ex...should I tell my girlfriend?
Q. So last night was my ex's 22nd birthday, so since we're still on good terms I went out with her and some of my old mutual friends. The night started off fairly well but as the night progressed I got more and more drunk (more so than I've gotten in ...
A. 30 January 2011: Well, it's a little late to worry about honesty isn't it?
In a PERFECT world, one in which you KNOW 100% for certain that you really would never cheat on her again AND you KNOW you want to be with her forever... in that case I would say don't te... (read in full...)
Unhappy with my BF and his needy mom adds to the drama...
Q. I have been with my bf a while now and as much as I love him I'm not happy . He doesn't listen to me most of the time and has a needy mother to add to the drama. He's undecisive about what he wants out of the relationship and due to us being ...
A. 30 January 2011: Get over him and go out with someone else. When you're 18-21 you shouldn't be afraid to dump a guy because he farts in front of you too soon, or sneezes at the wrong time.
In fact, when you eventually meet someone 7-10 years down the line tha... (read in full...)
Second thoughts about my relationship...why???
Q. hi im having second thoughts in my current relationship. we have been together for 2 years and still counting. he always showers me love and care and we are constant on the phone as we are staying in different states.i know i love him with much ...
A. 30 January 2011: Is he your first boyfriend? Are you too good for him?... (read in full...)
I cant trust my current BF because of the way I was played in the past...
Q. dear readers im looking for advice, when i was younger i was with this guy who always cheated on me and played me round like i was nothing, and i dont think i ever was to him. now im in a rewarding relationship but i find it hard to trust my boyf...
A. 30 January 2011: This is such a horrible feeling. i really sympathize with you and I hope you can conquer it quickly. When you have a nasty break-up people always advise to distract yourself and try to mov eon and that time will heal all. It doesn't With t... (read in full...)
If you knew a guy and you knew he was cheating on his girlfriend, would you tell her?
Q. If you knew a guy and you knew he was cheating on his girlfriend, would you tell her? I have a friend, well someone i know, and for the past 6 months or so he has been cheating on his girlfriend. He has approached me on a number of occ...
A. 30 January 2011: Why do you care so much?... (read in full...)
Is this relationship doomed or do-able..
Q. Hi all This may be a long read, but here goes= I met A in 2007, when I was out with my BF at the time. A told me he was smitten with me the moment he saw me, asked me to dance, talked to me, etc. I told him I have a BF. He kept persisting until...
A. 30 January 2011: ok for a psychologist you are very much a case study of poor communication, co-dependence, and self-esteem issues.
The way you split from you're first BF sounded very mature and that's a good thing, but playing games doesn't seem very construc... (read in full...)
How can I bridge this terrible predicament?
Q. I am a middle-aged man, I have a daughter who was born when I was in my teens. Her mother and I were High school sweet hearts and I loved her very much. My daughters mother was unfaithful to me many times, I tried to make it work but I could no ...
A. 30 January 2011: $h^t man that is f@*ked up! That is like saying how can you save a fart in a tornado. I gotta say that maybe the best move for you, to save yourself the most pain is to move on. Your daughter is grown, so she won't ever bond with you the way ... (read in full...)
Don't want to hurt him... but I like someone else!
Q. What should I do? I have a really awesome (most of the time) boyfriend (lets call him Rob), and recently I've been thinkin that maybe I like someone else (lets call him Fred). And I think because of Fred I got over Rob. I don't want to hurt Rob, but ...
A. 29 January 2011: Conventional wisdom says to never break up with someone for another. There is way too much that can go wrong, and you will always be thinking to yourself whether or not you made the right decision.
It will place a high burden on Fred without ... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm at the bottom of his list
Q. I'm questioning whether or not I should stay with my boyfriend? Lately I've been really frustrated with him. I don't know if I still want to be with him or just to walk away. We have been dating for a year and almost 4 months. Our relationship is ...
A. 26 January 2011: This is a great question that I think this forum was made for. I sympathize with your boyfriend a bit, when I was 19-25 I was in a relationship with someone whom was co-dependent and would get really insecure everytime I wanted to hang out with my... (read in full...)
For the girls -- shaving?
Q. hey everyone ! so i have a question for the girls , do you most of you shave the hair from your vagina? most guys i know do not like hair. so i want to shave mine, but ill shave it one day it will be smooth and the next day the hair will grow ...
A. 26 January 2011: I'm a guy, and here is my answer.
I don't care about the hair looks wise. Actually when my girlfriend shaves it all the way off it's makes me feel a little creeped out because all of a sudden she looks like a prepubescent down there, and that... (read in full...)
How to Build Confidence and Squash Fear?
Q. How does a man gain confidence around women and strangers? I enjoy talking to others and learning about them, but that's only with my friends. I've started a new semester at a new school, and I'm shy around all the people that I do not know. I want ...
A. 26 January 2011: Statistically speaking, you will miss 100% of the shots you never take.... (read in full...)
I told him I'm in love with him and now he's backing off!
Q. Help!! I told him hypothetically im in love with him,now i think he's backing off,what do i do? He was chasing me,i told him to give it a rest,now i have feelings for him,and its torture,i want to see him evryday...What do i do? he just texts me ...
A. 23 January 2011: I'm a guy, I just turned 29 and was 28 for a whole year. For me when I am in Love and want to be committed to a girl it turns on like a switch. There is no mistaking it within myself. I may not be so clear to the outside world, or I may even try ... (read in full...)
If he will not use this separation to work on our marriage then why should I hold out hope that we'll ever get back together?
Q. My husband and I have been separated a couple weeks now. We decided we needed to separate when it didn't seem like things were getting better at home. He is not sure what he wants and I have been willing and ready to work through our problems. He ...
A. 23 January 2011: You deserve to have your point of view heard and respected, problem with an ultimatum is that it's so final and absolute. You have to work towards your needs, and if he is worth keeping, than he will be willing and want to take the time and effort ... (read in full...)
He's giving me all these mixed signals!
Q. My ex boyfriend broke up with me becos everyone was causing drama between us. and i am still madly in love with him. But he has a girlfriend now.. he's been talking to me a lot. and i'm trying to ignore him but he hates when i do that.. I rea...
A. 23 January 2011: Sounds to me like you have self esteem issues, like he's controlling, and he wants to keep you as a back-up plan.... (read in full...)
My wife contributes very little to our relationship
Q. My wife and I have been married for two years and I'm worried about our future because she contributes very little to our relationship. I bring in 100% of the money (I'm putting her through college), but in return she doesn't clean, cook, take ...
A. 23 January 2011: I agree that it sounds like deep depression. Need to get to the bottom of that.... (read in full...)
My girl seems to be playing games with me. Why text me when she was with another guy? What should I do?
Q. I saw my girl with another guy. She saw me and said, ''hi'' to me. I ignored her. After that she sent me a text saying,''You seem cold today. Why are you so down, or is it me?'' What was the purpose of this sms? She knows I saw she was with ano...
A. 22 January 2011: she's power trippin' dude. Hurting you wasn't enough she wants to re-live the moment a few times over.
OR...
She doesn't feel she did anything wrong, and is wondering why you are ignoring her.... (read in full...)
Do I end it with my gf and also hurt my two children? or end it with the girl I feel is my soul mate?
Q. Hello wise people, I did something I thought I would never do. I had an affair. Now before anyone goes tut, that was me, before it happened. I met this amazing girl at my girlfriend's work. We clicked from day one and it was at first, just the ...
A. 22 January 2011: when you ask your question this how you sound: "Do I do the right thing, be honest, follow my heart and true Love to happiness? Or should I hate myself forever and fade into obscurity and drink myself to death where I am?" That's a bit of an e... (read in full...)
How do I stop being so accomodating to guys? I want a long term meaningful relationship
Q. I have always made bad choices in guys, form high school until now...I've had long term relationships but never meaningful one I was always quick to make them happy doing everything I thought they wanted me to do (pushover). Most of the time I had se...
A. 22 January 2011: Find a guy who is lower on the social ladder than you. He'll be so grateful to hook up with you that he'll treat you like a queen. Then, you can be free to be accommodating and open and nice without worry about if it's being appreciated. ... (read in full...)
Should I stay or move on? I can't seem to convince my gf that we could be good together
Q. It's been 3 weeks since my girlfriend and I broke up. The reason we broke up was because we fought too much, and our intimacy reduced, but we did have a great friendship (she was my best friend as I was to her). We did have trust and loyalty, befo...
A. 22 January 2011: Wow... You don't want to be played, but you say things like "I feel that I'll never be more than friends with you." But you also say that you want to be with her.
Are you trying to play her? You gotta be more honest and clear about what you... (read in full...)
If guys know they love a girl, then do they still want to party and see girls, instead of settling down now?
Q. I met a guy, dated for a month, broke up and didn't speak for a month and a half. Then started talking again and became best friends. It's been six months since we've become best friends, we're each others only best friends, and we recently admi...
A. 22 January 2011: I would keep a girl just committed enough to me that if I couldn't find someone better, well at least there is always the fall back plan.
... (read in full...)
If he will not use this separation to work on our marriage then why should I hold out hope that we'll ever get back together?
Q. My husband and I have been separated a couple weeks now. We decided we needed to separate when it didn't seem like things were getting better at home. He is not sure what he wants and I have been willing and ready to work through our problems. He ...
A. 22 January 2011: When bad things happen it hurts for a while but eventually we pull ourselves back up and move on. Hope, however... Hope is paralyzing. I see a flaw in your communication in that you seem to have made a lot of judgments about the way he thinks an... (read in full...)
Last year I slept with a co-worker. Now she will not let me forget it. How do I handle the problems she's causing me?
Q. In November, I slept with a co-worker. I'm married and I know I screwed up. Right after it happened, I felt guilty and told her that it would never happen again.Well, my wife works with us, and the co-worker has been dropping hints left and righ...
A. 22 January 2011: I think the reason you don't see a good way out is because there isn't one.
No shortcuts on this one. I think you should ask yourself: How do you want your wife to find out?... (read in full...)
My boyfriend buys porn and lies to me about it
Q. I need some help. Lately my boyfriend has been buying porn and lieing to me about it. It wasn't a problem before because he would watch porn occasionally and we would still have really great sex! Now, He watches porn and we have sex maybe once or ...
A. 19 January 2011: I think you should find out how committed to the relationship he is.
When I was in a relationship where porn was as much or more interesting than the girl it was because I was over the relationship but couldn't find a good way out because I was so... (read in full...)
Sex is getting to be a pain in the rear!
Q. Ok I am so confused. I have had a total of 3 long term relationships in my 20 years of dating. 2 of my Xs are still dear friends and each has moved on. I have been in my current relationship with a much younger man for about 6 months now. It has ...
A. 19 January 2011: At some point don't you think that if it's uncomfortable or stressful for you that you won't get to a point where you won't want to have sex anymore?
I don't know how to deal with a preference for dryness overall. I myself hate getting sticky o... (read in full...)
I told him I'm in love with him and now he's backing off!
Q. Help!! I told him hypothetically im in love with him,now i think he's backing off,what do i do? He was chasing me,i told him to give it a rest,now i have feelings for him,and its torture,i want to see him evryday...What do i do? he just texts me ...
A. 19 January 2011: You keep burning him so why should he vest interest? He is as scared of getting hurt as anyone else is. Sounds like he may be worried to commit to you because you are sending him mixed signals or even that you aren't interested. Be super clear, ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to decide which is more important: personality? Or who the person really is?
Q. I was just wondering, if you ever had to choose between personality and who the person is, what is more important in a relationship? Like what I mean by who the person is: -They play sports, can bake / cook, is very artistic, like the same animals ...
A. 18 January 2011: If you're into the same hobbies and you don't like the personality... you better be doing that hobby ALL the time.
Compatibility is an interesting thing... some say opposites attract, but really, just make sure you know what you want, and be open ... (read in full...)
Something's wrong. All the signs are there that she's cheating. What can I do
Q. I think my girlfriend is cheating. i've been going out with her for just over seven months now. We have only been out on a proper date once, and I only slept with her once. But that's not the main reason i think she's cheating. She was texting ...
A. 18 January 2011: Dude, get over it. go out with someone else. Whether or not she is cheating or not isn't even the issue, the issue is you are a back-up plan and she is only keeping you around in case she NEEDS you. It seems like you have smothered her and she ... (read in full...)
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