How should or can I tell my husband I want to try swinging, without him doubting my assertion that I am satisfied with him sexually?
Q. Over the last few years my sex drive has increased and I've been a bit more wilder in the bedroom with my husband. We have done some role playing, taken a few photos, and a video. I know my husband dose not mind at all but there are some nights I...
A. 26 August 2012: This is an interesting dilemma. Obviously this would be easier to broach had you continued the swinging fantasy motif.
My observations suggest that younger husbands are often more reluctant whereas experienced husbands are much more relaxed ... (read in full...)
I want to become a stripper!
Q. I know people will read this and may think this sounds like a sleazy kinda job, but I really want to become a lap dancer (stripper) or my biggest dream is to be a burlesque dancer. it has always been my passion, I am an intelligent girl and left ...
A. 8 August 2012: Methinks you must decide this for yourself. Sometimes your 'night job' can be combined with daytime work. But for some professions, that obviously won't work.
You'll find some who are very decent toward you. Others will hold you in complete... (read in full...)
My mother is putting me down because I chose school over getting married and having a family sooner!
Q. I am a 30 year old unmarried female who comes from a very strict Middle Eastern family. I moved away from home 8 years ago to pursue my education in Toronto which is a 2 hr drive from where I live. My parents were completely against this decision as ...
A. 7 August 2012: Dear Heartstrings:
Your family is working some issues; but you're a clever girl and realize this.
There is neither reason nor excuse for opting to live a second-hand life based on the preferences of parents [or anyone else]. Love doesn't man... (read in full...)
Husband will only have sex if we use sex toys
Q. My husband will only have sex using sex toys. He then asks me to masturbate him to relieve him. The problem is I feel like this is unnatural. I mean as a woman, I have to use my imagination and fantasize in order to respond, which means I'm not ...
A. 7 August 2012: It seems clear that your husband has some issues here. He's obviously given this considerable thought since it's a case of a complex which is driving his behavior. So I have to wonder if Sexless2012 is onto something.
You might broach this by ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to just have friends with benefits and not actively pursue finding someone new?
Q. Need advice, so I've been single for a few months and the only things I like about it are the freedom. I've always been in a relationship mindset so the solo experience has certainly been new. Currently I hook up with 2 male friends of mine. They ...
A. 7 August 2012: I see no reason to tell your friends what you're doing, but that's up to you. As for not pursuing another, I would actually recommend avoiding a serious relationship for at least a year. And when you're ready to pursue a relationship, Having your ... (read in full...)
Why am I fantasizing about a much older man?
Q. I am a 22 year-old college student and I have always been attracted to older men (50+). My oldest crush was 56 but I have been fantasizing about one of my professors this year who is 65! Isn't that crazy? The funny thing is that he is not even ...
A. 7 August 2012: It’s sometimes said that the thing about men is that if they live until the learning curve begins to rise, their chances long-term improve exponentially. While maturing, men gain confidence and perspective on life. After all, they’ve navigated many ... (read in full...)
Had sex with my younger personal trainer who is in a relationship and now I feel totally used!
Q. So after being a client for the last 5-1/2 months (he's my personal trainer, once a week) We started texting each other, then we starting sexting, sending pictures of our selves. He is not single, I am, however he is 17s my junior. We broke down ...
A. 19 December 2011: In all honesty, PeachTree, you were a willing participant in this. Given the age difference, it might be asked who used who. You knew what you were doing when you sent those texts and photos. What can I say?... (read in full...)
My husband accused me of being insecure after he was flirting at his christmas party! Am I insecure?
Q. Recently my husband and I went to his company's annual party. I have met a few people he works with but I do not know anyone well. It is awkward for me because once we get to the party he acts like I do not exist and gets mad if I stay wit...
A. 19 December 2011: Dear Anony:
You have to decide for yourself as to whether or not you are insecure. But it is 100% certain that your husband is being a certified jerk.
I wonder how he'd react if you got tipsy and spent the evening slow-dancing with a number of... (read in full...)
How do I take control in the bedroom?
Q. i was recently asked to 'take control in the bedroom' and i would love to but i don't get how i can do this. any ideas? and how can i get over my embarrassment as i lack confidence?...
A. 18 December 2011: How much control are you interested in taking? Maybe you should explore this at the FetLife website. Just a thought.
Good luck!
Mugzie... (read in full...)
He wants to wait, but now I want it!
Q. I am an 18yr old virgin gal and my bf 21 not a virgin. So my bf and i have been dating for 2 years and we never had sex but attemptd but i ws 2 scared... He then decided we wait 4 marriage but now i want 2 do it badly. What should i do? Please help! ...
A. 13 November 2010: You’re ready for the relationship to move to the next level now. Have you considered mutual masturbation? When you kiss him, you might try slipping a leg between his and rock gently to provide stimulation to your area of interest. You can also try ... (read in full...)
He's too gentle! I need it rough!
Q. well.... I use to go out with this guy who loves to have rough sex. I use to hate it, but I eventually got use to it since its the only way to have sex with him. Now i love rough sex, but the problem is, the guy I'm dating now doesnt. He's a softie...
A. 13 November 2010: I agree that you need to keep talking. And Molly may have something when she suggests an incremental approach. You might try telling him how great it feels to have your nips squeezed hard -- forcing all the blood from them, and then they refill, ... (read in full...)
Would a satisfied lady cheat?
Q. simple quistion for the ladys would a loved and a sexualy satisfied women cheat in her husband/spouse ? and if the answer was yes what would be the most common causes ...
A. 13 November 2010: I agree with Clueless Gal: When such questions arise, we spend much time talking about morality. But as I’ve said time and again, behavior is making morality increasingly irrelevant. This is not to say that the moral issues and promises don’t ... (read in full...)
Sex? I can take it or leave it...
Q. I'm 31 and my boyfriend is 28 and sometimes i dont wanna have sex but i do anyway, dont want him cheating on me, thats why i do it and now we live together what should i do?...
A. 5 October 2010: Define "Sometimes."
That's the thing. If you're basically asexual (not a put down; but a specific orientation only beginning to gain recognition), this may become more of an issue over time. Has this been a factor in earlier relation... (read in full...)
Men: why are you quiet during sex?
Q. To the men only: Why is it that some of you hold back from moaning or making noises during sex? Are you focusing too hard on your performance? ...
A. 23 September 2010: I couldn't agree more; I think it is a great turn on! I think that some men are afraid to do this because they feel it will look as if they are not in control.... (read in full...)
Sharing my wife... playing with fire?
Q. I want to know if anyone has ever played around with this – I am a 41 year old man… recently married a beautiful 27 year old woman. We are very much in love…trying to have a child together. We have a great sex life…but we are both on the adven...
A. 20 September 2010: If you are for real (and who knows on the internet), then yes. You are playing with fire. Of course, fire can be really, really fun. On the other hand, why would you suppose that you would ever be in the driver seat? As I've said before, when a guy ... (read in full...)
I want to know how do I ask my husband's brother to satisfy me as his brother is impotent?
Q. Hi, I need your advice. I am a beautiful 23 year old married girl. Its been almost 2 years now that I am married. My husband is impotent. He cant satisfy me and I am still a virgin. I cant share this with anyone as my parent are dead and so is my...
A. 19 September 2010: Hi Anon!
The issue of loyalty has been raised. Without consummation, some would challenge whether this is a valid marriage. And as it hasn’t happened in two years, it isn't going to happen. For that, I’m truly sorry. That said, loyalty is more tha... (read in full...)
I want a steady boyfriend and excitement on the side!
Q. I'm 14 and I have one of those boyfriends that everyone says is a 'great guy'. And he is. He's generous, good-looking, absolutely adores me and has never betrayed my trust and I don't think ever wants to. I lost my virginity to him at 13 and we've ...
A. 14 September 2010: I may be wrong about this, but those instructed in literary form and textual criticism will not be convinced that you are 14. What can I say?... (read in full...)
My wife wants another man and ok'd it. I think she may fall in love with him. What do I do?
Q. I need advice. My wife wants to have a real relationship with another man and I have sanctioned it. Am I crazy or a great husband? We have been married for over 20 years. I want her to have it all. I have not been perfect. Far from it. She st...
A. 14 September 2010: Whenever you go outside the relationship, there is always the possibility that love will follow. That said, I think you're stuck with this. By incorporating this fantasy in your lovemaking, you encouraged this by helping to shape her sexual response ... (read in full...)
My sister in law doesn't mind being naked with me!
Q. My sister-in-law (single and attractive) graduated college and recently took a job near where my wife and I live. My wife told her to stay with us in the spare bedroom until she found a place of her own. Initially, she wore a robe over her ni...
A. 14 September 2010: This doesn't seem to be an issue for your sil. I may be wrong about this, but I wouldn't assume that this is necessarily sexual. I'd wait until similar happened such as you describe when the sil disrobed when you and your wife were both present. ... (read in full...)
How do I get my husband to enjoy showing off his sexy wife?
Q. Hey all some advice please, so thanks to good genes and hard work I have a good body and I love showing it off. I like the looks I get and it gives me a lot of confidence. Some people might say I dress like a slut but that's their opinion and I do...
A. 12 September 2010: Hmmmmm. You'd be surprised how many men would be secretly fascinated and even aroused by this scenario. Readers may not agree with that, but it is true. Many women are peeved when husbands want us to wear short skirts, or wide, low-cut tops. Of ... (read in full...)
How do I get my husband to enjoy showing off his sexy wife?
Q. Hey all some advice please, so thanks to good genes and hard work I have a good body and I love showing it off. I like the looks I get and it gives me a lot of confidence. Some people might say I dress like a slut but that's their opinion and I do...
A. 12 September 2010: Hmmmmm. You'd be surprised how many men would be secretly fascinated and even aroused by this scenario. Readers may not agree with that, but it is true. Many women are peeved when husbands want us to wear short skirts, or wide, low-cut tops. Of ... (read in full...)
I don't enjoy sex very much and my husband calls me asexual
Q. My husband thinks that i dont enjoy sex and thinks that he shouldnt do it. The problem is i know its something important to him. He calls me asexual. The thing is i think i made a mistake in telling him that i dont like it very much. Now he has a ...
A. 21 August 2010: Just a thought...Maybe you are. http://www.asexuality.org/home/ This is a decent site. This is a decent site. Check it out. Perhaps it will give you some insight to better understand yourself and/or talk with your husband. All the best!... (read in full...)
My boyfriend thinks I'm the one ruining our sex life, when it's him that's bringing the porn dvd's to bed with us!! What should I do?
Q. Porn Wars :My boyfriend is telling me i am sabbotoging our sex life and our relationship. I feel it is he that is. We just made up over a 4 day battle cuz last week he was busy messin w/his tools, so i got in the bath. When i got out of the tub i ...
A. 18 August 2009: Your sex life? If you're not doing porn with him, then those DVDs are about HIS sex life, not your (plural) sex life together. Is he trying to interest you in it? If so, you have the option of playing along or not. But if he prefers porn to you, ... (read in full...)
Since I moved in and found my girlfriends sex toys, I feel like less of a man! What can I do about this?
Q. Hi i recently moved in with my girlfriend and have discoverd that she masterbates with sex toys, that she haves hidden that i have found. knowing when she does it makes me feel depressed and less of a man that i cant take care of my duty with her ...
A. 18 August 2009: I'll go with those who say, 'use the toys!' Why not learn to use them as well as better she does--or better...... (read in full...)
Can you live without sexual intimacy in a relationship?
Q. How do I know if my husband sexual problem is medical, or something else? He has ed and low sexal desire, but the DOCTOR NEVER FOUND ANYTHING WRONG. His health is k, so it is not medical so far ,unless they didn't find out why. I would fully exce...
A. 18 August 2009: Can you live without intimacy? Yes. Is it much of a life? In my opinion, no, but you must decide that for yourself, and whether or not you can deal with it. You seem to be weighing the relationship itself. If so, does he know that things are at th... (read in full...)
Is it odd for straight girl to watch gay men porn?
Q. Ok this is going to sound odd Im in my mid 20's and im not in the head place to be in a relationship right now so ive started to pleasure myself to porn (not alot but fairly frequently). I came across a gay porn site the other day and there was a ...
A. 18 August 2009: Perhaps you respond to this because you ARE straight. Do you imagine yourself in the scene? How do you feel about MFM threesomes? Could this be the course of discovery?... (read in full...)
My BF says if I loved him I would have sex with him
Q. I'm 19 and my boyfriend is 39. he said he loves me and if I loved him I would have sex with him. what should i do?...
A. 24 July 2009: If he loved you, would he manipulate you with talk about performance based love?... (read in full...)
I feel addicted to sex... How much is too much?
Q. my boyfriend and i have sex constantly. Its my wanting to most of the time. But he doesn't want to sometimes because he says we have sex every day. I'm just always in the mood when it comes to him. Am i addicted to sex? I feel like i need it ...
A. 24 July 2009: Personally, I think that there is no such thing as 'too much sex.' Of course, if it intrudes on other parts of life--work, relationships with other people and the like--that ban become a problem. Otherwise, it sounds like you're a high sex drive ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for girls to watch porn?
Q. Another problem for ye. People think its weird if you/a girl watches porn. I personaly think its natural and everyone should be doing it!! Is there something wrong with me? Or is it them? Am I normal? Is it wrong to look at those kind of things? ...
A. 24 July 2009: Wrong? This is a part of life. But I'm intrigued by what you say, namely--that everyone should be doing it...which implies that there may be something out of whack if they're not looking at it. Is that where you're at? Feel free to private message ... (read in full...)
How do I get him to leave his wife for me?
Q. How can i get him to leave his wife for me? im 17 and hes 40 and really need ideas? he sees me whenever he can get away from his wife, and promises to take me shopping, and he calls me princess and beautiful, we have sex alot in his car, he has 2 ch...
A. 19 July 2009: I suppose you could consider giving him another child...but are you sure that this is the life you want?... (read in full...)
Any products or ideas to tighten vaginal walls?
Q. Hello, I am 20 years old and I am very experienced when it comes to sex, lately I've been noticing that my vagiana is looser than ususal, usually it doesn't matter how much I have sex and my walls will still be very tight, I don't know what's ...
A. 19 July 2009: Dear Sugarwalls:
Google 'kegels.'... (read in full...)
I want to be more...
Q. I know there are many, many flat chested women in the world who are living life happily. However, I'm not one of them. I'm single, and it just seems so unfair that despite having a nice face/hair, taking care of my appearance, and dressing up well, ...
A. 19 July 2009: Nips are dynamite. Now must say that you popped one out, moistened a finger and toyed with it a bit--do you really think he'd look away? I could be wrong, but I seriously doubt it...... (read in full...)
Why would a man stay in a marriage like this?
Q. ......i need help finding someone to talk to about my problems! question?..why would a man want to stay married to a woman he has no sex with, does everything for...but is never around or spend time with his wife..of 20..years?...
A. 17 July 2009: If he's getting naught but 3-4 hours of sleep a night, this guy has one foot in the grave. Get him to a phyhsician and have him tested for a sleep disorder N-O-W! Apnea (one sleep disorder) can be life-threatening. It puts stress on the heart, ... (read in full...)
I can't reach climax and I don't know why. I build up, but then plateau.
Q. me and my boyfriend have been 'experimenting' for a few months now, and since we've tried so many things he's learnt the right spots that feel good to me. The only problem is, i can feel myself building up to climax, but i can never reach it, my ...
A. 17 July 2009: Possibly a lack of experience; then again, I've heard the same thing from people with a low sex drive. There is nothing wrong with that. We're all different. And I'm not saying that is the issue. But consider it, even if only to rule it out.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is an ass, a jerk, inconsiderate and makes me cry
Q. Okay, same guy if you've read my questions before. Last night me and my boyfriend were doing things sexually, and i couldnt get him off...this has happend a couple times before and hes drunk...its been an hour or more and he still wants me to keep ...
A. 16 July 2009: Dear BabyJoe:
Sorry to break it to you like this but You're dealing with one sick puppy here. Send it packing. ... (read in full...)
I'm a girl having dreams about having a penis
Q. I'm a sixteen year old girl and I'm bisexual. I find myself sexually attracted to both girls and guys, and I have for a long time. I've been having strange dreams for a few years, in which I have a penis. I never even thought about something as ...
A. 16 July 2009: You could always buy a 'strap-on' to have a penis on hand (so to speak) when the right girl comes along...... (read in full...)
Why would a man stay in a marriage like this?
Q. ......i need help finding someone to talk to about my problems! question?..why would a man want to stay married to a woman he has no sex with, does everything for...but is never around or spend time with his wife..of 20..years?...
A. 16 July 2009: No sex? Whose idea is that? If he's never around, that implies it may be his idea; but that isn't made explicit.... (read in full...)
I was drunk out of my head and got involved in an orgy
Q. Something happend to me last Saturday and I am trying to process it in my head. I am still in shock. I went to a very good friends birthday party. Because it was a house party and I planned to stay in their spare bedroom for the night, I got rea...
A. 14 July 2009: OK so people do stupid things when they are drunk. But even so, you were fascinated by the porn. You were long overdue for release. The others provided the setting and then an invitation. You accepted. Was the alcohol a factor? Sure it was. But it ... (read in full...)
How do I approach her about her unwanted sexual advances?
Q. I've got a problem and I don't really know how to handle it. Last week, a female co-worker came on to me. We've been good friends since I started working there three years ago and I had no idea that she was attracted to me. She came round to my ...
A. 13 July 2009: I'm guessing that she is genuinely weirded-out by this. Long story short--I value your friendship...let's respect boundaries so that it continues...and when do we get together aqgain?... (read in full...)
Is it any big deal if I masturbate 2 or 3 times a day, are there any side effects?
Q. Okay so im a 17 yr old female n i am just wondeting is it weird that I mas turbate 2 or3 times a day ? And does it have any side effects or something ?...
A. 13 July 2009: Sounds very healthy to me. Can you go for 4-5 times?... (read in full...)
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