A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:well.... I use to go out with this guy who loves to have rough sex. I use to hate it, but I eventually got use to it since its the only way to have sex with him. Now i love rough sex, but the problem is, the guy I'm dating now doesnt. He's a softie and likes everything slow and romantic, but I have no patients with it.. I like to be spank, pinched, tied up and etc.I tried talking to him about it, but he doesnt want to try rough sex, so I just let it drop and continue doing it his way. but im not enjoying the sex. I feel like sometimes I'm just sitting there faking like I'm having the time of my life when I'm actually really not into. I love that he's happy, but I want to be happy and enjoy our sex too. can anyone help me?
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female
reader, largentsgirl89  +, writes (14 November 2010):
 You'll never get anywhere by faking, he will continue doing what he is doing because he thinks he is king of the world and you will continue to be miserable. I agree, just take incremental little nudges and introduce new things to him. Don't do it all at once. Did you like rough sex with your first boyfriend? No. Don't push him to do something he doesn't like either. Tell him how much it turns you on when he does something a little rougher than usual. I just got my bf of two years to put me over his lap and spank me for the first time and holy crap it was amazing, baby steps. Good luck!!!
A
female
reader, Mugzie69 +, writes (13 November 2010):
 I agree that you need to keep talking. And Molly may have something when she suggests an incremental approach. You might try telling him how great it feels to have your nips squeezed hard -- forcing all the blood from them, and then they refill, over and over. Then add that when you come, you really need him to slap your breasts.
Remember that you didn't like rough at first; but you learned to love it. Give him a chance to learn... If he won't...well, you tried your best.
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A
female
reader, cheannryl  +, writes (13 November 2010):
 Simple,tell him you love rough sex.
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A
female
reader, Molly9945 +, writes (13 November 2010):
First off don't fake it, yes if there is something you did enjoy express it, but if you fake any pleasure or an orgasm he'll think he's doing good, and there for won't see a reason to due it differently or change his performance. I'm not sexually active but if my boyfriend does something I like or dislike when he's giving me a massage, cooking, etc. I tell(keyword: tell, don't accuse or get angry because of it!) him so he knows and is aware of how I feel.
So sit him down again, don't just immediatly say "I want rough sex" but instead compromise, get him used to things a little more risque than he usually does, and eventually just work him towards something you will both enjoy, be it rough sex or something new to both of you.
Remember compromise and communication is key.
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