A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:me and my boyfriend have been 'experimenting' for a few months now, and since we've tried so many things he's learnt the right spots that feel good to me. The only problem is, i can feel myself building up to climax, but i can never reach it, my body just quits just before im about to...and we've tried everything. Ive tried doing it myself, and its always been the same as if my boyfriend was doing it. Does anyone know what's wrong with me?
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female
reader, Mugzie69  +, writes (17 July 2009):
 Possibly a lack of experience; then again, I've heard the same thing from people with a low sex drive. There is nothing wrong with that. We're all different. And I'm not saying that is the issue. But consider it, even if only to rule it out.
A
male
reader, Tropicalman +, writes (17 July 2009):
First off, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. I am assuming that you and your boyfriend are just like most of all the average late teens; physically and sexually healthy.You can rest easy and put that thought out of your mind, OK? There have always been some (if not the majority of) women throughout history that simply need more time to reach orgasm once they begin an active sex life. You may be wondering why, right?When young women start making love, just like men, we are all full of anxieties, apprehension, happiness, worries and just about every emotion there is for some reason. Me being a man, I remember when I lost my virginity that I was so full of so many emotions that I lost my erection the first time the opportunity presented itself! Fortunately the next night the opportunity came again and I was not so anxious/nervous and all went well.It seems that the more we dwell on something during sex, the harder it is to achieve whatever it is. That includes climaxing. It sounds like you have a real nice and patient boyfriend who is willing to spend time with you during foreplay and during the very act of love making.About the only thing I can think of is does he spend an adequate amount of time during foreplay before he penetrates you? I can't stress enough how important it is for a guy to take his time with his lady to make sure you are ready mentally, physically and even sexually. THEN after he starts intercourse, it is very important for YOU to relax and free your mind of all thoughts that have nothing to do with how you are feeling with your boyfriend. Turn off your mind, relax and float with all the feelings you are feeling sexually and physically. Let your mind and body enjoy the feelings of closeness and of love and how the both of you sometimes (if not always) almost feel like one person in this world because of those feelings.If you can find a way to NOT think about the dishes or anything NOT RELATED to your love for each other and making love with each other, then DO IT. The most common reason for a woman not being able to climax is simply because she is worried about something or is trying to hard. Are you worried about getting pregnant or are you using protection? Is something on your mind that you want to mention to your boyfriend or are you reluctant to say anything to him because you believe that he's already been patient beyond normal expectations? Or anything else?If you can clear your head of the outside world and enjoy "the moments" the two of you have in intimacy, orgasms should (and eventually will) come with ease. I've had several girlfriends in my single days who would tell me they couldn't orgasm and had actually given up on ever having one! Even after I told them that I'd like to change that if possible, some would still insist! I'm honestly not bragging or being conceited in any way, but I usually managed to give them their first orgasms and let me tell you, most were so happy about it that they actually started to cry. They had given up hope due mostly to the guys they had been with were always so pushy to get down to "business" and didn't act or spend any "romantic" time and foreplay time with them. They began to think and convince themselves that something must be wrong with THEM when it was just the opposite.Judging that you even have trouble with orgasms during masturbation also tells me that you are definitely trying to darn hard. Try to RELAX. All will be fine and don't ever think there is something wrong with you.Keep us posted and let us know how you're doing, OK?
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A
female
reader, gracebfg +, writes (17 July 2009):
You need to relax! your consentrating so much on the climax that you not enjoying the sex, dont worry about the climax for now eventually it will come naturally as all your thinking about is am i going to climax?!?! relax =]
hope that help
Love gracebfg
xx
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