A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm 31 and my boyfriend is 28 and sometimes i dont wanna have sex but i do anyway, dont want him cheating on me, thats why i do it and now we live together what should i do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Mugzie69 +, writes (5 October 2010):
 Define "Sometimes."
That's the thing. If you're basically asexual (not a put down; but a specific orientation only beginning to gain recognition), this may become more of an issue over time. Has this been a factor in earlier relationships?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2010): Try to understand that, for the most part, men show their love to you with a combination of respect, thoughtful actions, and sexual intimacy. To understand and accommodate his sexual need for you is to show you love him. If he loves you, likewise he will accept that sometimes you are not in the mood. Please communicate to him, gently, this issue. If you feel a lack of motivation (you make excuses), maybe it's time to reignite the "spark" to form a stronger emotional connection. Maybe you feel unhappy about something in the relationship not emotionally related. Maybe you're stressed about things outside of the relationship. Talk to him, dear. He probably has no idea you feel the way you do, and if he cares for you, he will listen and help to find a solution to this mis-matched libido situation.
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A
female
reader, natasia  +, writes (4 October 2010):
 ? for sure in any monogamous relationship there will be some times when one person is up for it and the other is too tired/has a headache/just isn't in the mood - but - and this is a big but - if the sexual relationship is a strong one (as in deep, developed, meaningful, as well as with chemistry), then usually when one side initiates the other side will, sooner or later, also get in the mood too.
And we have all had times when we haven't felt like it but have done it anyway because the other person wanted it. It just depends how often you are doing that. It should be a pretty rare occurence.
It sounds like you aren't v happy in the relationship, to be honest.
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