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*upa-k

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123Next > [3 pages, 64 answers]

He has tried breaking up with me 7 times. How can I fix this relationship?

Q.   Me and my boyfriend are both 20 years old. He has always told me that I am his first love. He is not my first love but I do love him more than anything. we have been together for 7 months and just recently moved in together. We have wonderful days ...

A.   26 April 2007: If you do want to fix the relationship, then you need to explain to him how much it hurts you when he says that. For relationships to work, it takes effort, not one party to threaten to leave at the first sign of any trouble. But are you sure tha... (read in full...)

My girlfriend cheated on me with my friend. Should I take her back?

Q.   My girlfriend cheated on me with my friend. i gave him her number while we were broken up but i seriously didn't think he would succeed with her. He called her and they met the next time then started spending time at her house while she was ...

A.   26 April 2007: No, I don't think that you should take her back. The fact that she was prepared to jump into bed with someone else so quickly after the relationship ended suggests, regardless of knowing he was your friend, she didn't exactly have that much concern ... (read in full...)

My gf still gets upset about her baby's real father! What do I do?

Q.   My girl frind Erica has a 2 year old daughter Ashlyn and I love them both Ashlyn calls me dady and I call her my daughter. Me and Erica are both 17 years old and we want to spend the rest of our lifes toghter. But she sometimes gets upset steal ...

A.   26 April 2007: In a way it is good that you are upset on her behalf on this, as it shows how deeply you care about her and don't want anyone to hurt her. I'm sure that she notices that. All you can do really is be there for her if she wants to open up on thing... (read in full...)

He won't commit to me but he won't let me go either! Help!

Q.   I am so confused. I really like a guy I know for years. He never makes an effort to see me but he will always text me! when i do see him we get on great. however, he just wil not commit to anything with me but wont let me go either. help....

A.   26 April 2007: Suppose it depends what you want really. It probably wont be easy to get him to commit to you more thoroughly, so if you are happy to be in that position then pursue things. If not, then whether or not he'll let you go, you have the option of ... (read in full...)

He doesn't want to be with me because he's scared I will hurt him again! What can I do?

Q.   I Was with this guy for nearly 2 months. The past week or two we started to argue quite abit.He threatened to break up with me n coz i was angry n upset i said fine! Neither of us rele wanted to break up. He knws i wanna get back with him and i have ...

A.   26 April 2007: I think you both need to have a long hard look at the reasons why you ended up arguing so much, and attempt to change the circumstances surrounding this for this relationship to work. From his side, well relationships are based on trust, and part... (read in full...)

No other guys compare to him! How do I get over him?

Q.   Its Eating Me Up Inside.. I dont no how to get over this boy who i practically love.. I find it sooo hard.. A little while ago i didnt see him for about 6 weeks because i was grounded.. but then i come out again and i fell for him.. the moment...

A.   26 April 2007: How do you know for definite that he doesn't like you? A lot of the little things that you say he does might be every sign that he does, deep down feel the same way about you. Either way, asking him out might be the answer to the other problem of ... (read in full...)

Should I stay with my present boyfriend or go back to the ex?

Q.   i split up with my boyfriend about 2 months ago however we promised to stay friends but my feelings are stronger then that. i few weeks ago he told me that he still cared about me and that he wanted to get back with him but then i didnt know what to ...

A.   26 April 2007: Only you can decide that one to be honest. But at the end of the day, you need to remember that your ex seems to be playing quite a few mindgames with you over this other new girl, and to decide whether you really can trust him. Also, with the... (read in full...)

Are We Still Friends?

Q.   Are We Still Friends..? This boy who i like dont seem to want to talk to me.. He know's i like him and is on a 'Break' with his girlfriend who he loves dearly, i can accept that. He doesn't answer my calls or texts, but is talking ok to all of my ...

A.   26 April 2007: Perhaps he feels he needs to get to the end of this 'break', and see how it goes before committing to anything else. Although you say that you wouldnt try it on with him in that situation, maybe he doesnt know that, especially as he knows that you ... (read in full...)

My mom is threatening my boyfriend!

Q.   This boy called the house and it was my boyfriend and my mom found out and now she said shes going to get somebody to jump him stuff like that! ...

A.   26 April 2007: Horrible situation, and I was in a similar position with a girlfriends parents threatening me at one point. Why is it that they dislike him so much? Has something happened in the past to cause this dislike, or is it that they just don't think he... (read in full...)

I dont understand why he has gone from planning the whole future and being great together to wanting nothing now.

Q.   I've met a great man who i've fallen for and we have already talked about buying a house in the future and having kids and settling down together. We live and hour apart and he was willing to move here to be with me as i have a young son but within ...

A.   26 April 2007: Unfortunately, it sounds like that is a bit of an excuse for something else that has gone on in his life. Clearly something has changed his mind, be it a conversation with someone or someone else being involved. Either way, I'd say that you have to ... (read in full...)

I want to save my marriage, but don't want to lose her. What do I do?

Q.   Hi, I am married with a beautiful wife and 2 kids. Recently my wife has become much more demanding sexually, with us often making love 3 or 4 times a day. Although, you can imagine I am delighted with this, there is a fly in the ointment. Sh...

A.   26 April 2007: I really don't think that by complying with this you would be helping to save the marriage, especially given how uncomfortable you feel with the whole situation (marriages are about two peoples needs after all). What I'd suggest that you could both ... (read in full...)

Is this normal that I feel shy around a boy I like or is there something wrong with me?

Q.   Is This Normal? Sometimes i feel really shy around the boy who i like.. Is this normal or is there something wrong with me? ...

A.   26 April 2007: Its perfectly normal. There was a girl I liked once, who I went to talk to and just could barely get the words out. I suppose that the only way to get over it is by throwing yourself in there and talking to him, he is only human after all and you ... (read in full...)

Am i depressed? I go to work, cook, clean, wash myself etc. So I don't feel depressed but he says i am

Q.   Am I depressed? My partner invited me to meet him, halfway through a work trip abroad, where i spent a weekend with him, but he spent most the time with his work colleagues with me tagging along (that's how i felt) and he bullied a female colleag...

A.   26 April 2007: I think he's saying that you are depressed to try to maintain some kind of hold over you. He's even used it as an excuse to cheat on you, and using such a label upon you no doubt makes you feel worse, and in some way like you are indebted to him for ... (read in full...)

Are Good Looks Everything?

Q.   Are Good Looks Everything? Hi There, I was just wondering do you think that good looks are everything because i personally dont.. but many of my friends say that 'oooo hes ugly' when its there personality that attracts me to a boy and not just the...

A.   26 April 2007: A band called the Crocketts once wrote a line in a song with the lyrics: Its the survival of the prettiest But every flower withers and dies And everyone is equal in time Yes, there are ages when people can be quite shallow, and focus prima... (read in full...)

I cant stop thinking about him! Have I done the right thing?

Q.   I broke it off with someone I was seeing because he is moving away and im scared of how much I will like him by then and how much it will hurt me. I cant stop thinking about him! Have I done the right thing?...

A.   26 April 2007: Only you can know that in your heart of hearts. I suppose it depends upon whether you would be happy having a long distance relationship. If not, then you probably have done the right thing. If however you broke it off in the hope they then wouldnt ... (read in full...)

I think my boyfriend has cheated on me with his good female friend.

Q.   My boyfriend and i get on really well were the best of friends and we are so in love however he works with a girl who for the past two years i have been extremely jealous of as much as i dont like her, my bf and her are still good friends, however ...

A.   26 April 2007: Whether you are right or not about this, I would still say he acted in a way that failed to respect your feelings, especially by being cocky and making promises that let you down. When it comes to ignoring you, that really isn't a good position for ... (read in full...)

Well my casual guy found out that i went on a date and he got really upset i think he likes me but im not sure.

Q.   Well..i was seeing this guy casually and he made it clear that it was no strings.. then we started talking on the phone and calling each other all the time. If we wernt on the phone then we would text each other.. Well i was sick of being just a ...

A.   26 April 2007: First off, you haven't done anything wrong here, and its important that you don't go thinking you have let casual guy down. It seems to me that he wants it all ways, that he wants a situation that he can get out of as and when he pleases, but doesnt ... (read in full...)

I'm missing him fancying me. Is this totally selfish and stupid?

Q.   I've been chatting to this guy for a couple of months, and found out that he fancied me a while back. I told him in the beginning that I wasn't interested in a relationship with him, but wanted to be friends with him. However, recently I've found th...

A.   26 April 2007: I don't think that you have feelings for him, but more likely a longing to be loved, and that is not a solid foundation for a relationship. As you have said, you feel that you are quite insecure, first you need to tackle why you feel that this is ... (read in full...)

He makes me wet, but that's all. What can be his problem?

Q.   I'm going out with someone for about 6 months. The first 3 months we had a lot of sexy moments together. I'm about 80% sure that he likes me because he invites me to go out, he say nice things to me, frequently he calls me that he miss me and want...

A.   26 April 2007: Perhaps he is uncomfortable about sex, or maybe thinks that you are that. Have you talked to him about past sexual encounters he has had? Its possible he might be inexperienced so you need to create a situation where he feels comfotable talking to ... (read in full...)

I broke it off as the age difference was too much and we had nothing in common.. Now I'm lonely!!

Q.   hey, i have jus been away for a few months and got back feeling a bit strange with everything and decided to split with my girl. she is devasted and i feel terrible. the reason is that i feel the age gap (7 years) is to big and we dont do anything ...

A.   26 April 2007: You havent necessarily made a mistake. You opted to end the relationship because for whatever reason you felt that it wasn't working. You need to get out there, come up with new activities to do and ensure that you meet someone with whom you do have ... (read in full...)

I cant cope living with his father anymore! Cant see a way out but to end things!!!

Q.   Help. Im on the verge on ending my relationship. We have been together 3 years and have a 1 year old daughter. We live with my boyfriends father as I had to take extended maternity leave (our daughter was sick) and we couldnt afford to pay my ...

A.   26 April 2007: Is there absolutely no way that you could move away from his father, for the sake of both your sanity and the relationship? Perhaps you could attempt to get housing benefit, and move into a council property. It may not have the luxury that you are ... (read in full...)

I sometimes agree with the nasty things they say about my GF, should I finish it ?

Q.   ok me and my girlfriend are kinda having problems. i love her to death but my friends hatee her. non of my friends like and they say mean things that i sometimes agree with . should i keep her or dump her? please help me!...

A.   26 April 2007: Surely if you love her to death, then you have a duty to defend her to your friends? Why exactly is it that they hate her? Is it because they perceive that she is seeing more of you than them? Or is it because you have run her down to them? ... (read in full...)

Does his lack of contact mean hes just not interested in me ?

Q.   hi, ok so my boyfriend has been away for four weeks and i will see him again in two weeks when we go travelllng together... he did promise that he'd call every day, tho i didnt expect him to coz hes on holidays he shudnt have to but he's only ...

A.   26 April 2007: Perhaps when he said that he'd contact you every day, he wasn't fully aware of the situation. Without knowing where he is travelling, its possible he could be somewhere remote without having access to email or telephone? Also don't forget the huge ... (read in full...)

I think I love her like a family member now, am I falling out of love ?

Q.   I have been dating my girlfriend for nearly a year. I have started to notice a change in my feelings, and I just wanted to know what you guys thought. I used to be super-excited to see her every time that I did. Now, I am still happy to see her...

A.   26 April 2007: Relationships go through different stages. It would be impossible to lust after someone the same way throughout your whole life. What seems to have happened here is that your relationship has progressed to the next stage, where you feel much more ... (read in full...)

We have trouble talking and communicating and its only been two months! Help!

Q.   My girlfriend and I have been together for almost two months now as I write this. The beginning of our relationship was happy and fun, and we can still almost sense each other's feelings and thoughts. I love her very deeply, and I know she loves me, ...

A.   26 April 2007: Not everyone is necessarily comfortable with telephone conversations, and it can sometimes be easy to read into long, awkward silences that occur here. In fact, similar silences no doubt occur when you are face to face but normally its easier not to ... (read in full...)

We decided we are better as friends, but it hasnt been the same since we tried dating!!

Q.   I went out with my best friend for only 2 day... then we realized that we were better as friends. But lately we aren't as close of friends as we used to be. How do I get the relationship back to normal?...

A.   26 April 2007: Perhaps because trying to take things further than friendships, it has opened up feelings within one or both of you that can make the friendship awkward. Is it possible that one of you wants to be more than that? Or that there is awkwardness over ... (read in full...)

We got back together but.. we're having problems!!

Q.   My boyfriend and I just started our relationship over, hoping to forgive eachother for what we have done in the past and try and move on but still be together. We were having horrible problems and he was always hiding stuff from me. Especially on ...

A.   26 April 2007: Basically, get out, at least until he gets over this addiction that he appears to have with pornography. He knows how you feel about it from previously - well he clearly hasn't changed and there are only so many chances that you can give someone. ... (read in full...)

Do I stay or leave? He aint too nice to me but we still have a good time!?

Q.   I don't know whether to stay with my boyfriend and try make amends or leave him. The problem is that he use to have this prejudice toward me because I am not from the same "background" as him. He use to constantly remind me that he never went out ...

A.   26 April 2007: Whatever the reason he is doing it, the simple fact is that he is not treating you with respect. Regardless of the situation he is in at work, this is not the foundation for a successful relationship. I guess ultimately you need to decide what you... (read in full...)

I've fallen for her but she's reluctant, how can I nurture the loving feelings in her?

Q.   I started law school last August and met a wonderful person. She is beautiful inside and out and I feel very connected to her. We can sit for hours and talk about anything. I consider her one of my best friends, and certainly the closest person ...

A.   26 April 2007: First off, can I point out that you are quite lucky to have found someone with whom you feel that there is such a connection with as between you and this lady. But only she can make the decision as to whether to take things further. Clearly ... (read in full...)

I like him then he ignores me, so I stop liking him and he likes me again!!!

Q.   I really like this boy from school and I have been told that he likes me and I cant get him out of my head. Though sometimes he acts as though he doesnt even know I'm here. After these times I stop thinking about him, but when this happens he talks ...

A.   26 April 2007: It sounds to me like this bloke is probably attracted by what he can't have - a lot more attracted by the thrill of chasing you than he is in having a relationship with you. If you are interested in him, the best thing to do is to make yourself a ... (read in full...)

My friend scares me, and I want to rid her from me!

Q.   I have a friend who flirts outrageously with my partner and is always telling me how much men fancy her. Everyone from the estate agent (not surprising as she has nude pictures of herself in her bedroom!)to her surgeon. She likes telling me how my ...

A.   25 April 2007: As you yourself said, 'the last straw was when'. The simple fact is that pursuing this friendship is not a productive avenue for you to chart, and you seem to have made this decision for yourself already, and you need to trust that intuition. As for... (read in full...)

We've had our problems, but I want him to commit to marriage.

Q.   Hi I have been with my boyfriend for nearly nine years. Throughout this time we have split up quite a few times. The last most serious time was nearly two years ago, he bought me out of the house we owned together. We got back together about 6...

A.   25 April 2007: I just think that you are running the risk of making him feel uncomfortable if you take this path - he might feel that marriage isn't for him and end up resenting you for persuading him down that particular path. Try to think about the reasons ... (read in full...)

I have always felt sex is a tool to control your partners, and I don't like sex.

Q.   Hi, I'm 27 and have been with my husband for 7 years, married for 5 with a 3 year old child, my problem is that I don't like sex, I never have. I've always used sex as a tool to control my partners and now I fell that I'm missing out, I want to ...

A.   25 April 2007: I think that the best way to be satisfied is to know your own body intimately. This way, its possible to know the things that turn you on, and ensure that your husband can fulfil this. If you were to work this one out, it should also be much easier ... (read in full...)

I want him as my sex buddy.

Q.   Ok.... I just had the most amazing weekend. I split up with my boyfriend 4 months ago. my firend comes around with her boyfriend and her boyfriends very good looking mate. This gorgeous guy is looking at me all night. we go to a club and end u...

A.   25 April 2007: I very much doubt that he'll think you are a slut for doing it - lets face it, it takes two to tango anyway and you have both been completely honest about your feelings anyway. Neither of you have actually done anything wrong here - and there ... (read in full...)

'm in a serious relationship..so how can I get myself to stop liking this guy?

Q.   I like this guy a lot. I used to not think much of him the first few months I knew him, but then the more I saw of him (which is often cuz I work with him), the more I liked him. And now I don't even need to see him to think about him. He's not just ...

A.   25 April 2007: Perhaps you need to try and distance yourself from him as much as possible. Although you state that you don't need to see him to think about him, its quite probable that if you didnt see him at work then things wouldn't be so awkward. Somet... (read in full...)

I'm looking to date men my age but I only get old guys coming after me! What can I do?

Q.   I am getting really depressed because there seem to be no available men around my age or slightly younger as potential boyfriend material. I keep being told I look really young for my age (approx 24 on average) when in fact I am 31, so I can't ...

A.   25 April 2007: Some of the things that you can go to or join are specifically for people in a certain age bracket - certainly when I went speed dating once it was specifically for those in their twenties. This could be one avenue to specifically target the age of ... (read in full...)

Is my online love just needing space, or is this goodbye!?

Q.   I have been separated for 9 months following a 14 yr marriage which ended due to my ex wifes gambling. I met a lovely woman through the internet and we go on so well chatting on the phone every night for hours. i met her 4 times and we were due to ...

A.   25 April 2007: I can appreciate that its hurting, but I think you need to give her a chance and some space ot decide what she wants here. However painful it is, try to give her the two weeks to work things out in her own way, and make it clear that in future you ... (read in full...)

I said a horrible thing to him! And now I want him back..any advice on what I can do?

Q.   I really love this boy and i said a really horrible thing to him that i didnt mean but i just want him back and i dont know what to do or say. could you please help me?...

A.   24 April 2007: It depends really on the circumstances and what was said. If the lines of communication are still open then its every chance to apologise, get across that things were said in the heat of the moment and just try to be completely honest to him about ... (read in full...)

He stole from my friend, he lies and I got him fired. Now he wants to date me again. Should I?

Q.   Alright, so i've been single for the past 6months or so and have been quite lonely. Well about a week ago someone from my past came back into my life. Around this time last year, me and my longterm boyfriend were on a seperation. Not a big deal for ...

A.   24 April 2007: Trust is the key aspect of most relationships. You need to ask yourself can you trust this person? Can you be sure that he has changed? From what you say, I'd lean towards the 'no' side, especially as he seems unwilling to discuss the past but ... (read in full...)

We are both going to different uni's next year-and he wants to be single! What should I do?

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years, and we have been good friends for 7 years - we met in secondary school and have never been in a relationship with anybody else. I love him to bits. We have been really happy and are in love, but now th...

A.   24 April 2007: If you love someone set them free..... University really can be a very testing time for any relationships, as it totally changes the comfort zones to which you have become accustomed for the past five years... I do know relationships that survive, ... (read in full...)

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