A
female
age
41-50,
*rystaltips
writes:HiI have been with my boyfriend for nearly nine years. Throughout this time we have split up quite a few times. The last most serious time was nearly two years ago, he bought me out of the house we owned together. We got back together about 6 months later, although I have only just moved back in with him (about 3 weeks ago). Things have been going well, but I feel that the time has come for us to get married, when I have suggested this in the past, he has always said I put too much pressure on him. I would like to discuss us getting married, after the length of time we have been together, I feel we should make this public commitment to each other. Any advice?
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female
reader, crystaltips +, writes (25 April 2007):
crystaltips is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your advice. I appreiciate that you are saying and that at the moment it is to soon to be discussing this. It is just good to get impartial advice. I think that the reason the question of marriage is on my mind is that we have been together for a long time (even counting the break ups). Before moving in together we had been back together for nearly two years. I think that I'm just going to go with the flow and see what happens, after all the most important thing is that we are together and love and support each each!. Thanks again.
A
male
reader, lupa-k +, writes (25 April 2007):
I just think that you are running the risk of making him feel uncomfortable if you take this path - he might feel that marriage isn't for him and end up resenting you for persuading him down that particular path. Try to think about the reasons that you want him to commit to you through marriage. If you are doing it because you think it will change him, then that really isn't a good foundation. Also, after only three weeks back together, is it not a little soon to be thinking about such things? Give it time before tackling this issue
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A
female
reader, crystaltips +, writes (25 April 2007):
crystaltips is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Cd, very helpful. I will try to relax and go with the flow more!
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (24 April 2007):
 I think you're right in that you've been together for a long enough time that marriage should be a possibility but I would hold back for another six months or so for one simple reason. Last time you lived together it didn't work out and you broke up. This time you've lived together for three weeks which isn't long enough to make a judgement. Some people can make us happy but we just can't live with them and it's probably a good idea to be sure you're not one of those couples before you make this massive commitment. I think that when you're meant to be, things like living together and marriage happen naturally. You shouldn't stress about them, just go with the flow.
CD
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