I found out that the man I was dating is married...now what?
Q. I was dating a man for 3 months and a week ago I found out that he is married. His wife read my message on his phone, contacted me and told me that they've known each other for 11 years, are married, have a 6 year old child and that she's now ...
A. 27 July 2011: Cindy cares , thanks for calling me naive. Your 'worldwise' answer and line of reasoning truly helped me in being less naive!... (read in full...)
I found out that the man I was dating is married...now what?
Q. I was dating a man for 3 months and a week ago I found out that he is married. His wife read my message on his phone, contacted me and told me that they've known each other for 11 years, are married, have a 6 year old child and that she's now ...
A. 27 July 2011: k_c..thanks for your answer although I disagree with you on many points. Why are you telling me to learn my lesson? I didn't do anything wrong. I was not to blame and if his children and wife need him, I want him in my life too. ... (read in full...)
Invading partners privacy....how wrong is it
Q. 3 weeks ago I broke up with my bf (whom I had been with for 4 months) after I read his emails and found out he's been meeting another woman. He apologised and tried to get me back (he didn't know that I read his emails , I just told him I don't ...
A. 11 October 2010: I am the poster of this question. Thank you all for your replies. I think that him being angry with me is just an excuse to turn the tables on me as he knows he's at fault. I do understand that this relationship is not healthy for me and that it's ... (read in full...)
My long distance boyfriend has stopped calling as much or answering his phone.
Q. we started our relationship a couple of months ago. my boyfriend works in another city and has very little time. whenever i go there to meet him, we stay together and have sex. but recently he has stopped picking up my calls from morning till night. ...
A. 7 February 2010: most probably he's got some other girl there and he's not sure about what to do yet (how to tell you about this)
no person is too busy to talk /text if they really want to...it will only take a couple of minutes, so sorry to say this but if he re... (read in full...)
She taken and lives far away..and I really like her! Advice?
Q. Here's my story. A year ago, I was dumped for the 3rd time by my girlfriend, which happily ended what was, I realise it now, a disastrous relationship. We were only together for 6 months and long distance (she's English and she lives in France ...
A. 12 January 2010: keep talking to her but don't get your hopes too high. she's in a relationship now so you can't do anything. just be friendly with her and that's it. if the relationship doesn't work out for her, then she might want to try it out with you in the ... (read in full...)
My boyrfriend is treating me to a vacation in Firenze after which I'll be on vacation for 3 weeks with another man.
Q. [Moderator note: Please do not post identifying information about yourself] My boyfriend will bring me for a 10 days holiday in Firenze and he will pay everything for me. But at the end of the holiday I will tell him that I booked a flight for a 3 ...
A. 16 December 2009: are you serious? of course he'll be hurt. and didn't you at least offer to pay half the trip? or are you one of those selfish girls who think that men should pay everything??
you're a user and you're going to hurt this boyfriend of yours...... (read in full...)
I fell in love with a girl on a train, found out who she is, but she doesn't want anything to do with me!
Q. am i love with this girl that i saw a couple of times when i took a train. i found out about her from a common friend of ours.. He gave me her contact details and i contacted her, i chatted with her a couple of times under the pretense that i found ...
A. 13 December 2009: she ignored your msgs as she is not interested in you. it hurts but there's nothing you can do except move on. you're infatuated with her and it will take some time for you to stop thinking about her....but you'll be fine. one thing's for sure: ... (read in full...)
It is just too late? Or should I try again?
Q. Hi guys, maybe you could help me figure this out! Im sorry this may get long....I have been friends with a guy for about 3 years now and when we first became friends he was into me and eventually asked me out. I did not feel the same way and so i...
A. 12 December 2009: I posted a question around a week ago as I'm in the same exact situation like you!
I've known my male friend for 3 yrs. I initially turned him down but we stayed friends. Now I got feelings for him and I told him.
Unfortunately... (read in full...)
How to deal with it?
Q. How do i get over him its so tough I really need advice on this please We are seperating and its not easy I just spoke to him and he is so calm about everything How can two people that was so inlove and dedicated to each other turn out to ...
A. 9 December 2009: if he wants to split up there's nothing you can do except respecting his decision and moving on. pamper yourself, put some distance between the two of you and try to put this behind you. it will be very difficult at first but you shouldn't try to ... (read in full...)
What if I still like him and he just wants to be friends...how do I deal with this situation?
Q. I think that I'm giving up on him. I went through telling him how I feel and that i like him but its been way too long! In class sometimes I catch him staring at me and when we catch each others eye I look away because Im embarassed that I was ...
A. 9 December 2009: If you're not comfortable being just friends with him, then try to limit the time you spend with him. Just exchange the usual hellos, how are you etc. This will put some distance between you but it will be better for you if you want to move on.
... (read in full...)
I have her Xmas presents even though she dumped me... do I give them?
Q. My girlfriend dumped me a couple of weeks ago, Ive asked why, but been given no clear answers. I do miss her very much and am really hurting, Id like to hear from her-yes id like her back. I have already brought her, her Christmas presents. A fr...
A. 9 December 2009: I don't think you should give her the presents. Just take them back to the store and exchange them for something else if possible. Or else, give the presents to someone else (friend/sister) or donate them. Sorry to hear you're going through this but ... (read in full...)
How do I respond to the e-mail?
Q. I dated a man for about 6 months. We had incredible chemistry and a ton of fun in and out of bed. One day a very small misunderstanding occured and he chose to end the relationship. This was 5 months ago. Since then, we have remained in contact ...
A. 9 December 2009: If you want to stay in contact with him you could email him back something like 'Ok hope all goes well for you'. but if you want to cut contact, just ignore the email.... (read in full...)
Should I make the move to be with this guy? Anyone got experience of this kind of thing?
Q. One of my really good friends for years and I have really fallen for each other, but we live in different cities. We have kept in touch over many years although living in other places, and lately we have been going to visit each other and have ...
A. 7 November 2009: did you talk to him about you moving there? make sure that he knows how you truly feel about him and see if he feels the same way. If you both agree, then move. But you'd better ask him how he feels about you transferring to his city before actually ... (read in full...)
Should I patch up the relatonship with my girlfriend or take a chance with the new woman I have met?
Q. I’ve been in a long distance relationship with “A” 3.5 years now. We see each other almost every weekend. Lately we’ve grown almost apart. We don’t call, no texts, nothing. We share friends and family together and I’m afraid if we split I will ...
A. 6 November 2009: you're unsure about what to do..so just stay single for now and pick neither.... (read in full...)
He has suddenly stopped communicating and I am supposed to visit him soon!
Q. Hey. Ok...so I worked at this place over summer and I met this guy who also worked there...and we kinda got together towards the end (went on a few dates). Then, however, he had to quit and go back to uni, as did I. However, my uni is in London, ...
A. 3 November 2009: he wants you to visit him...he's looking forward to it but I wouldn't say that he's thinking of having a relationship with you or anything like that...it's just like two friends looking forward to spending a weekend of good fun together. Well, you ... (read in full...)
He has suddenly stopped communicating and I am supposed to visit him soon!
Q. Hey. Ok...so I worked at this place over summer and I met this guy who also worked there...and we kinda got together towards the end (went on a few dates). Then, however, he had to quit and go back to uni, as did I. However, my uni is in London, ...
A. 26 October 2009: I was in the same situation...we were not officially together but when we met up, we acted as such. So since we weren't together, I was always afraid of acting clingy. Well, I don't know what you can do as it's a difficult situation. In my case, the ... (read in full...)
He has suddenly stopped communicating and I am supposed to visit him soon!
Q. Hey. Ok...so I worked at this place over summer and I met this guy who also worked there...and we kinda got together towards the end (went on a few dates). Then, however, he had to quit and go back to uni, as did I. However, my uni is in London, ...
A. 26 October 2009: I think the best thing would be to be honest and talk to him. pick a good time (ask him when is a good time for you to call him) and have a little chat with him. ask him if he's looking forward to you visiting him. tell him that you're not sure of ... (read in full...)
Dont know how else to slow it down?
Q. hello everyone,I met a girl a few months ago and like her alot.I use to ring her everyday and she use to ring me the same. Before we went on holiday we had a talk about things thats on her mind and that she want to slow the relationship down a l...
A. 25 October 2009: she's telling you to slow down....so give her all the space she needs, she knows that you're there for her so don't contact her now. leave her to contact you. but don't get your hopes too high about this girl, from what you're saying she doesn't ... (read in full...)
He has suddenly stopped communicating and I am supposed to visit him soon!
Q. Hey. Ok...so I worked at this place over summer and I met this guy who also worked there...and we kinda got together towards the end (went on a few dates). Then, however, he had to quit and go back to uni, as did I. However, my uni is in London, ...
A. 24 October 2009: talk to him. be honest and tell him that you're feeling that he's no longer interested in you. don't go before you get the chance to talk to him. I know that a face to face conversation would be better but you'd better assure yourself of his ... (read in full...)
Will it look pathetic if I delete him after seeing him with a girl?
Q. I was sort of seeing this guy about 5 months ago, we got on really well ..etc etc. But in th end he turned out to be an idiot, who used me and never spoke to me again until 3 months later. (aplogising on a text, but i told him we are okie but its ...
A. 23 October 2009: i agree with the previous poster. just delete the guy and try to forget him. it will be difficult to get him off your mind but you need to distract yourself and put some distance between the two of you. put yourself first, stop contact with him and ... (read in full...)
Why does everyone associate being lonely not having confidence?
Q. My question is why does everyone associate being lonely not having confidence? I think that I am a lonely person, but I have plenty of confidence. My issue is just that I cant get anyone. I have a high IQ im athletic, I have 3 businesses, I...
A. 23 October 2009: I'm glad to have read your question as I feel the same way. I'm 23, just finished my postgrad degree, landed a good job, I'm fit and attractive and feel good about myself. Despite all of this, I still feel lonely and find it difficult to make 'real' ... (read in full...)
In the bedroom boyfriend just isn't interested
Q. Hey I was wondering if someone could help! I have been dating my new boyfriend for 2 months and we have a real problem in the bedroom...he just isn't that interested!! We waited a month before we had sex - he stayed over quite a few times and no...
A. 18 October 2009: maybe he's got something worrying him...problems at work/with family ? some disagreements with a close friend or something? the fact that he isn't interested in sex doesn't mean that he's gay...it's just that he doesn't feel like having sex. some ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for an ex to carry on sleeping with his ex?
Q. I'm just wondering if anyone else does this, I still speak to my ex on the phone most days, and see him somedays too, even though he has a girlfriend, but the past couple of months we have been having sex, I know it's wrong but we just can't seem to ...
A. 18 October 2009: Why are you letting him use you and degrade you? don't you have any self-respect? he clearly doesn't want you to be his girlfriend (as he has a new one) but he wants to continue having sex with you and you're obliging...and giving him the message ... (read in full...)
LDR suddenly no contact at all from her
Q. I live in England, the girl I love lives in America, we had a great thing going between us for over 1 1/2 years, but then she suddenly stopped all contact, any attempt at contacting her have been meet with silence. I wasn't given any explanation ...
A. 18 October 2009: it's over. if she hasn't tried to respond to your contacts then she's no longer interested. she must have met someone else. it's tough, painful and really heartbreaking...but take care of yourself and you'll get through this eventually.... (read in full...)
Is my online, long distance guy for real? He's spent a fortune already!
Q. I dated this guy (andrew-not real name) 4 yrs ago but remained friends because I had a bf that time and lost contact with, I broke up with my bf (now ex) late last year after suffering a very unstable relationship with him. Now, andrew and I has a ...
A. 15 October 2009: if he's spending lots of money on a trip to come to see you, then he DEFINITELY is interested in you. are you interested in him? or will you let him down again? If you're not sure, you'd better be honest and upright with him, don't let him spend the ... (read in full...)
How do I go back to feeling happy and complete on my own?
Q. I'm 23 years old, I've just finished my postgraduate degree and started working. I consider myself to be attractive and my colleagues wonder/ask me why I'm still single. I get guys approaching me and asking me out for a date but I never like the...
A. 6 October 2009: thank you for your replies. reading your answers/thoughts about my situation has made me feel better about myself. ... (read in full...)
I feel so scared and alone, the one good thing in my life has gone!
Q. I think this has been long overdue and I'm not even sure I know how to express exactly how i'm feeling in one question, but I have to try. I'm almost eighteen now and I really feel like i've hit an all time low, rock bottom you might say. I kn...
A. 5 October 2009: many people feel like you, so you should take comfort knowing that you're not alone...In fact, a lot of people go through phases where they feel lonely, without any good friends to rely on and alone. It's just a phase of life...which will pass ... (read in full...)
How do I let him down easy and as painlessly as possible?
Q. I recently moved from the town where I'd been living for 5 years. I was in a long distance relationship with a guy ("Bob") for 2 years, and we have been broken up for 1 year. In that time, I started a relationship with another guy ("Steve"). I go...
A. 30 September 2009: be honest and tell him that you've started seeing someone. Don't tell him that you're seeing Bob as it will hurt him even more. ... (read in full...)
Why don't guys like to talk about feelings or their exs?
Q. why don't guys like to open up and talk about their ex or talk about feelings in general? My guy recently broke up with his girlfriend of 8 months (i think it was because of me and the fact it was a long distance relationship) but he still say...
A. 29 September 2009: give him his space and don't ask him about his ex's if he's uncomfortable when you mention them. is he still in touch with his ex? did he tell her that he's breaking up because he met another girl (you)? maybe your guy is a very sensitive man wh... (read in full...)
Geographically undesireable is becoming desireable
Q. Dear Cupid, Great longing and an aching heart for someone far away brought me to you tonight. I look towards the wisdom and divinity of dearcupid.org to lean on. First, I will get right to the point, then provide support details and describe the...
A. 29 September 2009: you have very strong feelings towards this woman but before you act on them make sure that she feels the same way about you. If you both want to take a chance on your relationship, then one of you would need to move into the other's country/visit ... (read in full...)
31 year old and an 18 year old???
Q. hey I'm turning 18 in october and i've been head over heels for a former teacher that I had a while ago. He's turning 31 this year i think. would it be ok if i dated a 31 yr old once i graduated high school. cuz in school will def be wrong even ...
A. 27 September 2009: you're both at different life stages now...you're still studying whereas he's more settled (he's got a job and more life experience than you do). you might not realise this now but even if he's attracted to you, he might not want to pursue a rela... (read in full...)
His family doesn't like me because I'm not Italian?
Q. I'm dating a guy whose an American Italian and comes from an all American Italian Family. They even own their own Italian Restaurant - 3 generations. He's the 3rd generation. Be educated and tons of experience in the industry. I get asked a lot ...
A. 26 September 2009: have you tried speaking to your boyfriend about this? did you tell him that you feel that his family are not treating you well? If I were you, I wouldn't help them out in the restaurant because they are not being fair with you...they should have a ... (read in full...)
Jealous of a vibrator. Will she get used to the thicker girth?
Q. This may sound ridiculous but I really cant help feeling like this. When I met my girlfriend she had never had an orgasm with any partner and she believed she couldnt have one. she also said that her previous partner didnt even know or probably ...
A. 26 September 2009: sex is not just about orgasms and penis girth...the rabbit thruster doesn't provide women with the emotional bond and intimacy that sex between two people involves...so be rational and don't go thinking that she'll prefer the vibrator to you!... (read in full...)
I want revenge..how do I make this guy look stupid?
Q. Hi im gonna put it simply, i want revenge on an ex boyfriend Now i know people will say that just getting over him will be enough and that i should move on and make him realise what he's missing. And no offense but ive tried that Im far t...
A. 26 September 2009: ignore him, involve yourself in other things and keep yourself busy, look good and go out to meet people. eventually, he'll see that you can do just as well without him and he'll get really jealous!! living well is the best revenge. ... (read in full...)
Suggestive text messaging...is it an affair?
Q. My husband has a female friend whom he often goes out runing with. They have been exchanging dirty texts and jokes for the past year which I have expressed my disatisafction over however my husband continues to send and receive such texts. Rece...
A. 19 September 2009: tell your husband that he has got to stop sending texts. otherwise you're going to end up distrusting him and in trouble. I do understand your thoughts and you're right, this woman should find another man to send texts to ,not a married man.... (read in full...)
Insensitive girlfriend
Q. I am in relatively new relationship. It has been a month since we told each other how we felt. We had two great weeks were I have been floating on a cloud of happiness. Then things started going south since. She stopped sending me any "I miss u" ...
A. 19 September 2009: from what you're saying , this seems like a one-sided relationship where you get to do all the 'work'. she's not really interested in you. Because, let's face it, when someone is interested s/he would let the other person know not just be cold and ... (read in full...)
Each time my boyfriend goes away on a business trip I find condoms in his bag, and we don't even use them!
Q. My boyfriend of 6 years went on a business trip last weekend. When he came back, I found a receipt for condoms. We don't use condoms. He says he was the one responsible for till slips for the team. but, why would someone try and claim condoms from ...
A. 8 September 2009: Have a chat with him and confront him. Ask him outright if he's seeing someone. Tell him that you don't believe his excuses about the condoms and that you need to know the truth. ... (read in full...)
I want to see him again, but was it too casual?
Q. I dated a guy casually for 8 months, he never committed to me but we spent a lot of time together. He just moved away to another city, and we didn't really discuss what would happen between us. I cried on his shoulder the night he left, and he ...
A. 8 September 2009: Have you been in touch with him? What was his reaction? Usually, you can tell by his reaction (was he nice to you on the phone or pretty abrupt?) if he wants you to keep in touch or not. good luck ... (read in full...)
I'm bummed! No one remembered my birthday!
Q. yesterday was my birthday and no one remembered. instead my boyfriend hit me up for fifty dollars a week before saying he needed money to pay a bill, instead it was because he already spent his whole check buying video games for himself- 350. worth, ...
A. 7 September 2009: I'm sorry you feel this way but remember that sometimes we all go through bad phases where we feel alone and unloved. I think you just need to get some things straight though; why are you with your boyfriend if he didn't even buy you a present?
... (read in full...)
Was she really not able to talk or just brushing me off?
Q. I have a phone numer of this girl [She's an exchange student from Italy]. My friend gave me her number and she never see me before. I called her today and she said she's busy and can't talk right now. Does it mean she doesn't want to talk to ...
A. 6 September 2009: why don't you text her instead of calling her? texting is less personal and she might prefer texting since she has never seen you. ... (read in full...)
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