A
female
age
36-40,
**
writes:I'm 23 years old, I've just finished my postgraduate degree and started working. I consider myself to be attractive and my colleagues wonder/ask me why I'm still single. I get guys approaching me and asking me out for a date but I never like these guys. I never feel physically attracted to the guys who ask me out so I always decline or end up being just friends with them.I used to be quite content with my life but lately I don't know what's happening to me. Actually, I'm realising that I'm missing having someone special, having someone to spend weekends with and go on holidays with. I get sad when I think that I might go on my next holiday alone. I always used to value 'me' time and I enjoy my own company but now I'm getting tired of spending a lot of time on my own. I've got a great family and a few good friends but they don't fill this kind of void I'm feeling. I hate to admit this as I know that one needs to be happy on their own, without feeling the need to be part of a couple. So, how can I go back to feeling complete and happy on my own?The last 'relationship/fling' I had was a long distance one which ended when the guy met another girl in his area. I cut contact with him to help myself move on. More than a year has passed and I still cry and feel sad about this. No matter what new hobbies/things I try to do to take my mind off things, I still miss him. I know that eventually I have to be rational and stop missing him but I want to know how I can be happy on my own, without feeling the need of meeting someone to replace him. Thanks.
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long distance, move on, on holiday Reply to this Question
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female
reader, L* +, writes (6 October 2009):
L* is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for your replies. reading your answers/thoughts about my situation has made me feel better about myself.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2009): Well, sounds to me like you might be going through a temporary phase of growth. Being your age, you probably still have alot of questions about what life is, what love is and when do you get to feel complete? You possibly might have a small touch of depression because of it as well. I can tell you that forcing your way out of these feelings won't help you. It's unfortunate, but you simply have to have patience to figure out who you are and where you want to be in life so that you can become the person you're meant to be. Until you do that, you are not emotionally healthy enough to be with anyone else. You're sad feelings about the guy who met someone in his area is simply due to the feeling of rejection which as woman, few of us take lightly. Sometimes, it takes up t oa year or so to get over something like that depending on how much you cared for the person, and how long you were dating. But you already are aware that you should be happy with yourslef, alone, and that these feelings you have are not settling well with you. That's a big thing in itself! most people won;t recognize that and search for anything to fill that void. So you're on the right track! Hang in there, reach out to faith/religion, keep a journal of your feelings so you can analyze them... you'll be just fine! :) Just be patient.
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A
female
reader, Summer1951  +, writes (5 October 2009):
One thing always to remember is you are not alone, you say yourself you have a great family and good friends. You say you are not physically attracted to the lads that ask you out so you refuse. Give them a chance. Looks are not everything and you may grow to think of one of them as that Mr Something special.
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A
male
reader, vampiric_nikolas  +, writes (5 October 2009):
during other activities you enjoy doing you havn`t come across any attractive males yet? since you say no one in your viscinity is of interest and you want someone to feel in the void and you say your life is well structure i suppose is safe to go seek out someone of your preference.try participating in activities that you arn`t to much of fan of like exercising/jogging clubs. maybe if you change your atmosphere a bit you will encounter someone who peaks your interest. as long as you steady your life with work and family it wouldn`t be a big risk to seek out potential candidates just don`t make it a priority. i hipe this long winded advice helps and remember you may be in a pond of the same fish but the ocean has many to select from take care and good luck.
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