A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I think that I'm giving up on him. I went through telling him how I feel and that i like him but its been way too long! In class sometimes I catch him staring at me and when we catch each others eye I look away because Im embarassed that I was loking at him. We talk all the time and if I try to ignore him he talks to me. When I talk to my best friend only he will jump into the conversation and try talking to me. I don't know what to do because every time I see him I only think about how I want to be with him. I can except it if he just wants to be friends but I will still have feelings for him. How should I deal with this situation?
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male
reader, lazyman87  +, writes (9 December 2009):
i generally agree with oldersister.
not many guys your age would want to just stay friends with a girl crushing on them. he has all the makings of a best friend, heterosexual or otherwise :p (last bit was a joke btw!)
there are various things you can try to get him off your mind, to ignore and to try to suppress your feelings if that's what you want to do.
you could let it all out, write it all down on paper. everything you feel should be on there, and when the paper reflects your feelings, burn it. in doing that you're trying (almost) to trick yourself that your feelings have gone. and you'll feel good for burning something (or i could just be a pyromaniac!)
spend time away from him. don't block him out of your life totally because i think he will be a very close friend in future. take up new pursuits. do you like running/cycling/dancing/martial arts/singing/etc? take up a new hobby, something you like doing and dedicate some time to it. you'll find that you'll meet new people for a start, but crucially, your mind will predominantly be off him.
don't start seeing another dude for a few weeks, i don't see the point of starting a relationship with someone, when you still inherently fancy somebody else. i don't think relationships like that work too well.
basically do something that will make you feel good, and you're feeling good without him. you'll slowly get over him.
remember that we've all had crushes, and we've all had to get over unrequited crushes. you aren't the only person in the world, even this hour, in your situation!
hope all goes well xx
A
female
reader, L*  +, writes (9 December 2009):
If you're not comfortable being just friends with him, then try to limit the time you spend with him. Just exchange the usual hellos, how are you etc. This will put some distance between you but it will be better for you if you want to move on.
You don't have to be mean to him but put yourself first. If you really like him and don't want just a friendship then that's it.
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