A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I think this has been long overdue and I'm not even sure I know how to express exactly how i'm feeling in one question, but I have to try.I'm almost eighteen now and I really feel like i've hit an all time low, rock bottom you might say.I know there are things I have to look forward to, but right now optimism is a difficulty for me.Here's a little summary of my life right now:My boyfriend dumped me a week ago, someone I fell madly in love with 7 months ago and I don't believe I will ever stop. Mainly because I don't want to, i believe he is the one for me (as corny as that sounds). I believed he loved me too, but a few weeks ago he went away on holiday and he came back a different person, a horrible person. Someone I never thought he could be. He decided I was a distraction for him and that he needed to sort his life out and do what's important for him. So he dropped me like I no longer meant anything to him. This was such a sudden change, as before he was as madly in love with I as I still am with him.I've just started a new college, and am finding it hard making new friends. I expect this will get better with time, but I just feel very lonely there.My old school friends I rarely see, because they all have their new friends and i'm yet to make some. I guess i'm still holding onto my school friends because in all honesty school was the best time of my life, I had many friends and saw them everyday. I now hardly see them, even though they are there I feel unbelievably lonely, like I don't have a best friend who I can see whenever and go and have fun.Fun is something my life now lacks, and I desperately want to have fun.But how can you have fun when the people who were your best friends a year ago, now have new friends and have no time for you?I suffer depression, I don't know whether it's to do with my age, or whether it's something i'm going to have for life. Left alone with my thoughts I do myself no favours. I think about things too much and end up crying.I hate being this way!I used to be so happy, and now I'm miserable. The one person in my life who gave me a reason to get out of bed everyday no longer cares for me and I find that so difficult to accept.I'm scared, and i'm alone. At least it feels that way.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks all of you for replying :)
I already feel 10x better after reading what you put!
Obviously it's going to take some time, but I know in the long run things will be fine.
Again thanks everyone x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2009): Hello. You sound like a lovely sensitive young lady and its ok to have the blues sometimes. I promise you it wont last, you arent going to feel like it all your life. Leaving school is a huge thing in life. All the years of being with your mates and feeling safe. Now that time has gone, but it will be replaced with even better things i promise you. Try and make an effort with people at college. If you are a little shy just look around at other students that seem a bit on the quiet side and talk to them. They may feel isolated and lonely and your friendly smile could be just what they need. You will make new friends, as good if not better than your old ones. Very few of us go through life with our old school day friends.
You say you think too much. Well get busy and dont give yourself too much time to sit and dwell on things. My son missed his mates alot when he left school and college wasnt much better as his gf went to the same college. They broke up soon after starting college and his new friends sided with her so he had no one. He was very down for awhile but he got busy. He went to work part time in a local supermarket and met loads of students like himself. Pretty soon he was being invited out and very busy. That was 9 years ago and they are still his best mates now. Give it a try.
Lastly, Im really sorry to hear your bf decided to split up with you after his holiday. Im sure you do love him and it must have been a shock for you but it doesnt sound as if his feelings were as strong as yours. You are probably very upset about losing him but he doesnt sound very nice just telling you that and going without any previous warning. Arsehole springs to mind but i couldnt possibly say that here lol. Dont waste too much time missing him. The real Mr Right will come along soon. As for talking to someone. You may feel abit left out by your old school friends but what about your mum, nan, aunties or cousins? My daughter went thru a bad patch and told me she had no one to talk to but she had me. Dont forget mum, nans and aunties have all been there too, try talking to them and all the best to you x
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A
female
reader, L*  +, writes (5 October 2009):
many people feel like you, so you should take comfort knowing that you're not alone...In fact, a lot of people go through phases where they feel lonely, without any good friends to rely on and alone. It's just a phase of life...which will pass believe me. Just focus on your studies, don't try too hard to make friends but be yourself. Perhaps joining some sports or extracurricular activity might help you take your mind off things as you'll be meeting new people.
As for the boyfriend, you can't control him. He decided to leave so your next logical step would be to accept that. I know that you're very hurt, going through a breakup is sooo tough but take care of yourself and pamper yourself. Eventually, things will get better.
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A
female
reader, Ana123  +, writes (5 October 2009):
WOW Im soo sorry.. The same thing happened to me last month So its still fresh and im still some what hurting Im 19 and i was with my ex for 15 months.. HE fell for another girl.. she was his best friends wife!!! she has 2 kids.. so hes a home wrecker... I was soo in love with him he too was the reason to get out of bed.. You have got to just try and not think about him.. Oh its not easy trust me i know im still talking about him.. just do something that you wouldnt have done with him..If you live near cuzins you like make them your friends.. you never know it could be fun You Are probably beautiful! just keep saying you can do better !!... Hes got some growing up to do if hes just going to push a girl out of his life like that... and it may hurt now but in the one you'll the one better off.. when the guy wakes up and realizes what hes missing.. you'll be long gone.. heres some advise i got if he does try to come bac you g
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A
female
reader, Summer1951 +, writes (5 October 2009):
I can fully understand what you are saying. Obviously this lad had a complete change of heart while on holiday, sounds to me like he probably met someone else the rat. Speak to your mum or sister on how you are feeling. Mums were young once and they do understand even if you think they dont. Try to re-kindle your relationship with your school friends and you will soon be having fun and probably have a new best friend in no time at all.
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