A
male
age
51-59,
*risey
writes:My girlfriend dumped me a couple of weeks ago, Ive asked why, but been given no clear answers. I do miss her very much and am really hurting, Id like to hear from her-yes id like her back. I have already brought her, her Christmas presents.A friend from the club has suggested, I still send her Christmas presents (they are beautiful and from the heart) to her with an accompanying letter (content im not to sure about). I cant return some of the gifts anyway as they are personilsed. Im torn on this, part of me wants to. Dont know if it would reopen the door (which tbh I would like) or push her further away ??
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2009): Well, Brisey..you are hurting..understandable, truely it is. It's just that any type of 'overtures' you make towards her, may give her the impression that you are being desperate, clingy and needy. That is a turn off to most people.
Keep yourself, as busy as possible, to keep your mind off her. It will be hellish but over the long run, you will be happy you kept your dignity and was able to sustain the emotional strength to resist contacting her. If she dumped you then you have to realize, she performed an unloving act toward you...she's not at the same page as you. If she loved you, she would never dream of losing you. And..if you still love her, then you will want her to find her own happiness...now that is healthy. Let her go..and move on and heal, my friend. Good luck.
A
male
reader, Brisey +, writes (9 December 2009):
Brisey is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys ! Im really hurting atm !!! :/
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2009): Yeah, Pancake is right. This is real life. And you don't want this girl feeling sorry for you, do you. Somehow, a relationship that involves pity for another person, is not the healthiest way to go, is it. I wouldn't want that!
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female
reader, L*  +, writes (9 December 2009):
I don't think you should give her the presents. Just take them back to the store and exchange them for something else if possible. Or else, give the presents to someone else (friend/sister) or donate them. Sorry to hear you're going through this but I'm sure you're going to be fine.
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A
female
reader, bedazzled86  +, writes (9 December 2009):
She obviously has issues and doesn't want to discuss them with you, for her not to give you a reason for why she left you is just gutless! I would return any gifts you can and for the personalised ones I wouldn't give them to her as she doesn't deserve them and she doesn't deserve you. Just leave her have her space don't text or ring she will get off on that give it time she may contact you first take care x
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female
reader, pancakes rule  +, writes (9 December 2009):
 If this were a movie, what would happen is that you give her the present, she feels sorry for you and knowing how much you love her makes her realize that you are perfect for eachother, you kiss and cut to the scene of your wedding day.
Unfortunately, this isn't a movie, giving her the presents might make her think that you're a bit needy and she might get annoyed. If you want to get back with her, just talk to her, don't give her a gift unless it looks like you will be back together before Christmas.
Good Luck
xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2009): Please, do not give her the presents. Most guys wouldn't even fathom doing this after they have been dumped. She is not 'expecting' them and giving them to her, is probably just a soothing balm for 'your' own pain. She will not appreciate the gesture, believe me..so this could be embarrassing for you, causing her to back away even further from you.
Keep them stashed away until you heal and recover as your emotional wounds appear to still be very raw. Time is your friend here. Think about doing the work--the mourning/recovery process by acknowledging the reality of this breakup. Accept it..it happens to all of us. Please begin to surround yourself with people who do care about you. Finally, you will eventually start to believe it's over and you will begin to feel at peace. And it will be then, that you will get your life back. And then those gifts..can be donated to charity as suggested below. At some point, you will be ready to go out with friends and to meet new people. But you have to mourn, grieve and accept to getting there. This is the only way to heal. Good luck...my thoughts are with you
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (9 December 2009):
Don't send them. She's ended it, and that's it. She'll probably only send them back to you anyway. Return the ones you can to the shop, the ones you can't you can store away or donate.
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A
female
reader, bad romaance +, writes (9 December 2009):
 Return the presents that can be returned .. face it if she hasnt got the common curtacy to at least explain why she dumped you then she doesnt deserve the beautiful gifts. if you send her them gifts with the note that note better say that the presents are goin to self destruct in 5 seconds
dont let anyone walk over you .... and get away with it.
best of luck .. Shauna :)
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (9 December 2009):
 Return the gifts you can, and get your refund. Those gifts that are personalised, pack safely in a box with a lid and sticky tape it down firmly. If your wish for her to come back comes true you can pull them out for valentines day or her next birthday. If your wishes dont come true donate them to the nearest charity shop.
She doesnt deserve presents!
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2009): There's no way to tell if it will re open any doors. Let's get a bit of perspective here first though, you're considering giving presents to a person that dumped you without the courtesy or decency to tell you why?
Does a person like that desverve presents? Do they even deserve to have you again? It's hard to think rationally about this because you have such strong feelings for her, so put yourself in someone else's shoes, if a friend was asking you this what would your advice to them be?
I suspect you'd tell them to first find out why they were dumped. I mean what happens if you give her all these presents and a beautiful not detailing all your feelings for her and what you're willing to do to get her back only to find out that she's been seeing someone else?
Dumping someone with no clear reason is one of the most vile things a person can do to another.
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