A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:why don't guys like to open up and talk about their ex or talk about feelings in general? My guy recently broke up with his girlfriend of 8 months (i think it was because of me and the fact it was a long distance relationship) but he still says it hurts him whenever i mention it. I'm just curious on what happened and how many ex he has had but he seems very reluctant to tell me anything about his past.Are all guys like this?
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks everyone for their response!!
I guess you guys are right. I should just give it time as its still early days and I should stop worrying about it.
You're right - My guy probably still has issues he needs to sort out first. He did say when he broke up with his last gf, things got ugly...so not sure what that really means...
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (29 September 2009):
Not all guys, but most.
Women are great at sitting down and talking and analyzing feelings. Men aren't. It takes us time to really understand how we feel. And if we're not ready to talk, we won't. We're like clams. There's a pearl on the inside, but a shell on the outside. The shell opens itself when it's ready. So, what I'm ultimately saying, is when he's ready to open up, he will. Just let him know you're there for him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2009): because we women tend to organize, analyze, and otherwise make life uncomfortable for them when they do. When he is comfortable with you and trust has been established, he may share more of these things with you...but until then he will guard his vulnerabilities. After all you dont hand over weapons of mass destruction to everyone who proclaims themselves to be an ally. You are in early days here so give him time. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, L*  +, writes (29 September 2009):
give him his space and don't ask him about his ex's if he's uncomfortable when you mention them. is he still in touch with his ex? did he tell her that he's breaking up because he met another girl (you)?maybe your guy is a very sensitive man who feels guilty of breaking the other girl's (his ex) heart and prefers not to think/talk about it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2009): hey
Not all guys are like that. It isn't really a good sign if you are hoping for a relationship for this guy if he can't tell you *anything* about his past. Whilst the past is the past, if you two people love each other they should feel open and able to confide and share intimately.
You say he only recently broke up with another girl, but he's already with you? That seems quite sudden to me. From my perspective I would say give him time, let him sort out his feelings, and then hopefully he will naturally start to open up to you and begin a proper relationship.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (29 September 2009):
 Not all guys are like that but certainly many are. I am a respecter of a person's privacy however and sometimes it's just plain best to let the past stay in the past. Quit trying to pry, he'll tell you what he wants to tell you and when he's ready. Just relax and enjoy your new relationship.
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