A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi guys, maybe you could help me figure this out!Im sorry this may get long....I have been friends with a guy for about 3 years now and when we first became friends he was into me and eventually asked me out. I did not feel the same way and so i said no but we still remained really good friends.a couple of years after that, i.e now, he has got a job, matured...and i think i am in love with him. The problem is im not sure whether when he got over me he has totally gotten over me or whether his feelings have always been there?? we did lose contact for a while but that was due to circumstances however we have alwys remained on good terms but during this time he met a lot of new people-girls and i dnt know if he has feelings for any of them. I completely regret not giving him a chance before but i think it wasnt the right time we are both older now and maturer.My dilemma is should i ignore my feelings now and realise that it is too late for anything to happen between us and i should just forget and remain friends with him, or if i should find out how he feels?? and how! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2009): Hi
If you dont ask him how he really feels, then you will never know, if he is honest and says he wants to try, and you feel the same way, then give it ago, if you dont then you may regret not taking that 2nd chance.
Good luck,.
just ask him hun...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2009): Tell him! What have you got to lose?
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A
male
reader, nice boy +, writes (12 December 2009):
 ask him.
definitely ask him.
if you were able to still keep in touch after he asked you the friendship cant be ruined completely but be careful of what exactly you say to him
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A
female
reader, L*  +, writes (12 December 2009):
I posted a question around a week ago as I'm in the same exact situation like you!
I've known my male friend for 3 yrs. I initially turned him down but we stayed friends. Now I got feelings for him and I told him.
Unfortunately, he told me that he now sees me as a friend only and that he doesn't want to ruin our friendship.
During the past 3 yrs, he was always there for me and to listen to me talking (even about other guys I was seeing) so I never thought that he would turn me down. I was already thinking of a future with him as I was sure that he would say yes if I asked him to be my boyfriend...but when I did, I was surprised as he told me that he was flattered and surprised but that he saw me as a friend only now. Now he's a bit distant....I'm hoping we could still be friends though.
Go ahead and tell him how you feel. You could still be friends if he doesn't feel the same way.
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