A
female
age
36-40,
sammi star
writes:Okay so this valentines was the first one for my bf and I. I've known him for years but we only got together 10 months ago and I was determined to make it special. So valentines week comes around and he's having serious money problems (as was I to be honest!) so I told him, we don't need money, what you spend isn't important to me, we can do something nice for each other that doesn't cost anything.So valentines day I gave him a photo of us that I'd framed, cooked him a meal and even attemted heart shaped cookies which didn't go to plan but the thought was there!What did he do for me? nothing! Well obviously I sulked for the rest of the day at his extreme lack of effort and was still feeling grumpy about it the next day when he went to work. I didn't hear from him all day which isn't unusual but half an hour after he'd finished work i text him and got no reply which I found strange. When he finally answered my message he told me he was in hospital after having a fit on the train home from work. Of course all my anger was forgotten in an instant, replaced by worry and fear. It's not the first time this has happened as he suffers from epilepsy but it never gets any less frightening and I was even more worried that he was in hospital as he doesn't usually have to be taken there seeing as it's not uncommon for this to happen to him. I just felt so gulity that night that I'd made such a fuss about the whole valentines thing and let it drag out for ages even after he apologised because when something like this happens, something like valentines just seems so tiny and unimportant.So yeah, thought I'd share, next time you're getting mad over something, giving your partner grief just try and get some perspective on the situation and remember whats important!
View related questions:
his ex, money, text Reply to this Article
Share |
You can add your comments or thoughts to this article A
female
reader, sammi star +, writes (25 October 2010):
sammi star is verified as being by the original poster of the question well kittenpaws you certainly gave me something to think about! I honestly didn't see it that way and you make an excellant point!
A
female
reader, KittenPaws +, writes (25 October 2010):
I just stumbled on this article out of the blue, but it made me think.
Valentines Day is a bone of contention for me since I can't decide where I stand on it!
On the face of it, I think it's ever such a cute idea, but obviously when one partner is more into it than the other it quickly becomes an issue. On the one hand, I abhor the idea of having to 'ask' for presents or attention in any context, or for the other partner to feel obliged on this day more than any other. Whilst on the other hand- if your partner knows that you enjoys it, is it really such an issue to deal with the cliché/ marketed obligation of if it if the alternative is to see them disappointed.
I really can't decide!
But your line of thinking makes me curious. You felt guilty for making an issue of it because he had a fit the next day. But what if YOU had been the one taken ill?
If the moral is life for today because who knows what tomorrow will bring, wouldn't the same apply to him?
If occasions, however little, silly or frivolous come and pass us by unnoticed, he would have no less guilt looking back the day after than you did.
You tried to make the day special and lived out your emotions, rather than bottling them up when he let you down. He didn't even try.
I'm not saying that anyone should feel obliged to try if they don't care. And yes, the day does have questionable merits in many respects anyway. But I don't see that you should feel any more guilt on the day after the event than he would, just because he was the one taken ill rather than yourself.
...............................
|
