A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:How do I get myself out of the dumps of my gloating selfpity for passing the love of my life by? This is doomsday for me but the wedding day for her? Should I crash the wedding and vow my love to her to be my wife. It's been 14 mos that I was a chicken to tell her I love her. She wanted me to marry her but I told her I didn't love her. I had commitment shakes.
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female
reader, KittenPaws  +, writes (3 January 2011):
All the other aunts have already commented in detail on the obvious drama and disaster liable to be caused from crashing their wedding. (Don't forget that it's not just her wedding, but is equally her fiance's big day too).
Huge amount of expense, organisiation- guests having booked time of work and travelled a long way, parents having saved and looked forward o the occasion for years (both her parents and his).
I've just got to ask- WHY would you actually crash the wedding? If you're going to tell her how you feel, why would you do so in such a way that would tread on and crush so much effort, so many dreams and hard work?
If you're going to tell her after she's already promised to give her heart to another- that's risky enough; but WHY would you consider ruining their wedding day as the way to do that?
To be honest, whatever you do though; proclamations of love sent by text message are really NOT romantic. So whatever you choose to do, at least have to respect to address any lover face to face when opening your heart to them for the first time... and ideally not in front of their future husband on their wedding day.
A
female
reader, aloregirl  +, writes (2 January 2011):
if you crash the wedding,it wil seem you dont have any regard for her, that you broke her heart because it was the convenient thing to do at the time and you want to destroy the little happiness she has managed to build in the name of having her for yourself. I think you go to her, find out if she still love you,if despite your shorthcoming,she wil be willing to sacrifice her newfound happiness just to give you another chance. If she is willing and ready to break the new guy's heart and cut short his expectation he has nursing, then i think you have a good chance.
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A
male
reader, Illithid  +, writes (1 January 2011):
 Dude, no. This will not work well. She's marrying this other man that she loves, and you want to publicly embarrass her, cause a scene, and likely cause a fight at her wedding hoping that she'll fall madly in love with you because of it? That happens in the movies, but in real life you had 14 months and let her go. I'm sorry, but ruining what should be the best day of her life isn't going to make her forget that you pushed her away and broke her heart. She's getting married. I suggest you spend some more time single and spending time with friends, finding yourself again, then get back into the dating scene when you're ready.
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A
female
reader, Sweety Pie +, writes (1 January 2011):
 Personally I think someone crashing the wedding would be really exciting and romantic :-) however i'm an odd one and I don't think you should do that to her. But you can talk to her privately before hand, just say we need to talk, meet up and tell her. Then at least you'll know. And its not as scary as holding up a whole church of friends and family.
But prepare yourself, if she's marrying the guy theres a pretty good chance she's moved on from you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2011): Do it! When te preacher says speak now stand up and tell her u love her. It's better to regret going than thinking about how u cud've stopped her and u cud've had a life together but u didn't go to the wedding. People always r sad they didn't speak up so speak up and just tell her PLEASE don't let her get away !!! She obviously wants u if u don't go and SPEAK UP!!! She will think u must love her alot to have the guts to stand up and say something tell us how it goes!!!
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A
male
reader, Flashtony +, writes (1 January 2011):
Kenny is probably right, in any event crashing the wedding is wrong. If you dont' deal with this today though you may always regret it.
If it was me and she was really the love of my life.... I'd call her, or text her and say... I have to tell you that I love you, I know it's bad timing and I'm sorry, but I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't tell you. I'm going to be waiting at .... Give her a location near her.... For an hour from.... Make it at least three hours before the wedding.... If she shows, talk to her... If not, no regrets bud... Move on... You lost this one.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (1 January 2011):
 Ok so you had commitment issues and told her you diden't love her. So she was more than likely quite upset by this and took abit of time to get over it. But over the natural course of time she has got over you and fallen in love again, and has found someone who she wants to spend the rest of her life with. I would let her be and forget about her, and let her get on with her life. I know its hard as you are carrying an emotional attachment to her, but you have to be strong and let it go. Crashing the wedding i feel would be a really bad idea, great if it was a Hollywood movie, but in real life i think it would be a bad move. Things will get easier for you, time is the healer of all things.
Good Luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2011): I feel very sad for you. It must be awful to watch the woman you love marry someone else, but I don't think you should crash the wedding. It is ok to tell her how you feel before that time, but if you have not done so by now, it is too late. Be respectful of the fact that she has found someone else who she loves enough to marry. If you crash her wedding, you will be ruining the most important day of her life and any chance of continuing your friendship with her will be completely destroyed. Any goodwill that she might still have in her heart for you will most likely be dashed and she will probably never forgive you. so please, please, please don't crash the wedding! Sometimes, in this life, we just have to accept that the person we love the most has moved on without us. I am struggling with the same thing myself, but I realize now that you just have to let go...hard as it may be. If you two were meant to be together, she would have come back to you by now. Love her enough to let her go and find happiness. In the meantime, just keep yourself busy with other things and try to go and spend time with friends and people you care about. hang in there, i wish you the best.
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