A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Good looking women go with rich, famous, and good looking men, right? To me, there appears to be a hierarchy of men because of this. The less rich, manly, and successful, the less attractive you are to women (let's just use the 'best looking women' as they would be the least compromising).So unless you're one of those somewhat rare men who seem to be confident regardless of how rich, manly, and successful, you don't *feel you're good enough for the best looking women because there's always some guy who's 'better'. Is this hierarchy an illusion? Is there an outer attractiveness (riches, success, manly looks), but what really matters is some kind of inner attractiveness? Is it a type of confidence, and what is it based on if there's always someone 'better'? I ask this stuff because I've heard of men who have nothing extraordinary about them outwardly and are still good with women and they even get approached and hit on.Do these men actually exist?*I realise this is probably what women in general want because it wouldn't be favourable for the average woman for men in general to think they deserve the best women. This, I guess, is why women appear to be such a mystery as well.
View related questions:
confidence Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, KittenPaws  +, writes (14 November 2010):
Hmm... Okay- I appreciate that there are female traits and male traits; that genders are broadly wired in different trends... But, women are as different from one another as men are from each other. And you sound like you expect a formula which you can apply to any number of women. It just doesn't work like that. Stop trying to attract women ‘en masse’ and you might be halfway there! Find yourself a lady that you like and find out how you can make her happy- by talking to her, by listening to her. Every relationship deserves a bespoke design.Sure there are those that read and understand others (men and women!) better than others- and that confidence and understanding increase with experience. But... what it is that you want? Do you hope to diminish the restrictions of any social hierarchy -or do you want to 'cheat' your way to the top with some kind of 'one size fits all' formula?Have you actually met a girl that you love and want to make her happy, or are you simply looking for any number of trophies to hang off your arm?Because if it's the latter, I think I can tell why it's not working!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2010): But then again, I'm not sure what relationships are rare exceptions.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2010): @KittenPaws. There are men who have nothing extraordinary about them outwardly and are still good with women and they even get approached and hit on. How?
When talking about women, let's keep things unmuddled and just use the 'best looking women' as they would be the least compromising.
This is really about discovering the model of male attractiveness. But of course, there is a lot of variation in what women want. Rare exceptions aren't so useful here.
...............................
A
female
reader, KittenPaws +, writes (10 November 2010):
I don't get it...
'Good looking women go with rich, famous, and good looking men, right? To me, there appears to be a hierarchy of men because of this.'
But... you're asking how you can get a 'good looking' woman, right?? So... you're presuming a hierarchy of women and asking how to get one at the 'top', at the same time as accusing why would a good looking woman not want a man at the bottom?? (or just less good looking/ or of lower status on your 'system' than herself).
If this hierarchy existed hard and fact, there would be a million cases out there to disprove it?
But in any case, if you object to it, wouldn’t that make you a hypocrite in only being interested in how you can attract a woman 'at the top'?
I think you've really got to think about whether you buy into this system or not. -Because anyone with any sense sidelines this nonsense if they want a sincere relationship.
Maybe you should work out where your own principles lie and then start living your life to support them. If you stop looking at every woman for her score on your hierarchy then maybe you'll have the confidence to just talk to her for who she is anyway.
...............................
A
female
reader, Blod +, writes (9 November 2010):
 I think in terms of a woman's 'ideal' man, they'd love someone attractive and rich. But men are exactly the same! Women think all men want is blonde, skinny, model-type girls with big boobs, but (thank god) that's not strictly true.
When it comes to men, women want someone they could spend the rest of their lives with. So essentially, they're looking for someone they can not only cope with but someone they also love being around. That's why the superficial money and looks thing is just a dream. Most women look for a deeper kindness and loyalty and someone who'll be there for them all the time, not just someone who'll provide them with eye-candy and shoes. Of course, a lot of women would love those things but man who genuinely loves you and respects you is worth a lot more than this.
As for the hierarchy thing, psychologists believe that people of the same level of attractiveness are drawn to each other. So, if this is true, then so long as you look in the mirror and think 'I look ok' then I'm sure you'll find yourself a girl who you think is gorgeous!
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (9 November 2010):
Your first line is crap. And I'm the perfect example for you. You know who and what I am? I'm a broke, unemployed plumber. My girlfriend, on the other hand, is an executive in a company that will remain nameless. Her weekly wage is more than my life savings.
I attracted her because basically I'm a nice honest guy, and that's about it. I try very hard, I'm nice, I do romantic things for her, I fix things, I'm there for her and I proved I wasn't there for the money because she didn't tell me for some time what she even did.
Be a nice, honest guy who works hard, has aspirations, has confidence in what you believe and you will find a woman who really won't care about what you earn. Women are out to look for a good life with a good guy, but they're not shallow (not the smart ones). They mostly want a guy who has realistic goals in life and tries to reach them, and they want that guy to be honest, caring and respectful.
...............................
|
