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... Send *opeful a private message | | | *opeful's profile:Hi - I'm 23 and live in Australia. I'm single.
I enjoy reading everyone's posts and seeing if there is anything I can suggest which may help them.
I don't think I know all the answers but I think it is important to look at these problems from a lot of different angles to try and find the best solution.
Sometimes I think it is important to play Devil's advocate and really look at all the issues and all the options before making a final one.
Enjoy! |
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Should I meet the MSN guy I've been chatting to?
Q. Hi, I have been talking to this guy for a few months now on msn and now he wants to meet. I have seen a picture of him and him of me on msn but I'm not sure. My friend says if I want to meet him she would go with me. What should I do??...
A. 14 August 2006: It is interesting that you say that you are not sure.
Your own instincts and gut feelings are scarilly acurate so it is worth listening to what your intuition is saying here.
If you are not comfortable in meeting him in person, why not try talk... (read in full...)
Breast feeding my new baby has some ... interesting effects on me!
Q. Hello, I am a 27 year old new mom. This will sound weird but I'm very embarrassed to ask this to any friends or family, as it is obviously a little strange. I breast feed, and every time I do so, I get turned on. Now I would NEVER do anything...
A. 27 June 2006: I heard a similar thing from a co-worker years ago so I don't think its terribly unusual - perhaps worth having a look on the net for any information - I'm sure you would be able to get some information from websites about breast feeding/new ... (read in full...)
Why am I not invited to go with him to his brothers wedding!?
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for 15 months. We are both well in our thirties and have been married before. I have met his family and they all really like me. His brother is getting married in August and it looks like he wants to go to his bro...
A. 27 June 2006: Have you asked him why?
Maybe the wedding is a really small affair and it is only going to be a handful of people there, maybe he thinks you wouldn't be interested in going, maybe the wedding is going to be really small because the bride and groo... (read in full...)
My online fiance has suddenly disappeared! Help!
Q. I have been dating a guy online for 5 months. He lives in another country so we email every day and talk on the phone every weekend. He is so wonderful. I went to meet him (in the other country) around our 4 month anniversary. We had already t...
A. 27 June 2006: I think that perhaps you need to try and check it out just to ensure that he is ok and that nothing bad happened to him.
Do you know where he works for example? Would it be possible to look up some sort of directory and find the number of his w... (read in full...)
How do you know if men fancy you???
Q. Does anybody know what the signs are that a man fancies you? You know how he acts around you and treats you? ...
A. 22 June 2006: Varies according to the individual but some general and common signs incude: talking to you lots, remembering a lot of things about you (stories you may have told, things that are important to you etc), looking at you in the eye when they speak to ... (read in full...)
Dumped by text... and I want my ex-boyfriend to regret doing it!
Q. I am 15. How can I make my ex boyfriend regret dumping me? He is a coward and dumped me by text. I want to make him regret it... but how?...
A. 22 June 2006: You can't make people feel bad about themselves.
Don't waste your time thinking about someone with such bad manners and an immature attitude.
Rise above it and consider yourself lucky that you are not with someone who doesn't have any courtse... (read in full...)
Can I have a short fling with the Italian boy, and not ruin my perfect relationship?
Q. Hi I'm a girl, nearly 18,and I've been with my boyfriend for a year now (who is the same age as me), I love him to bits and we have been engaged for ages now, and everything's just perfect. But there's a problem, last week my mum invited round a ...
A. 21 June 2006: Have you considered your boyfriends feelings at all in any of this?
Imagine if some sexy foreign girl was staying at his house and he was considering having a fling with her? Imagine how hurt and betrayed you would feel?
When you are in a ste... (read in full...)
Been trying to fall pregnant, but no luck after a year! What's next?
Q. Hello I'm 18 and I want to have a baby. I would like to know if anyone knows what I have to go through to get pregnant. I have been trying for about a year and no baby. What dr. do I go see? What can help my chances? I have been with my boyfriend ...
A. 21 June 2006: See your GP and get a check up and then they can refer you to a specialist if need be.
Good luck.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't like oral sex!
Q. Why does my boyfriend not want to go down on me? He says he doesn't like to do it but I'm worried that it is me....
A. 20 June 2006: It's not you. It's him.
If it's a big deal, tell him that it turns you on when he does it and that if he wants oral, he has to give as well as receive
or if not, I'm sure there are other ways he can satisfy you.
Just make sure that its not a... (read in full...)
I really really like him, my parents dont approve, I cant let him go, what should I do ?
Q. Ok this i really hard for me im 15 yrs old and i really like this boy i mean i really like this boy!! he makes me so happy its unbelievable, people may think im only 15 this cant happen its just thier hormones or whatever but its not, thats what my ...
A. 20 June 2006: Why don't they approve? Do they not approve of him? Or do they not approve of you having a boyfriend yet?
I would talk to them and tell them that you respect them and don't want to hurt them but you have to make your own decisions too.
If it i... (read in full...)
Shall I study in England for a while???
Q. Hi... I'm 25yrs old and am from India. I'm moving to England in November to be with my sister for a while. My sis and her husband have been living in London for the past 8 yrs. They are both citizens. Although, I'm not particularly kee...
A. 20 June 2006: Make sure you check out all the details of your visas.
Make sure that you can study and work on the visa you apply for.
Apart from that, ask lots of questions and find out as much info as you can about costs of living over there, availabil... (read in full...)
I am jealous over my husband, what shall I do???
Q. hello, im 36 been with my husband for 14 years married four months ago, in all we have a good relationship,but i struggle with jealousy to the point i tried to end my life,my jealousy is sparked by his need to look at other woman either i...
A. 20 June 2006: Guys check out other women, fact of life.
Doesn't mean they are going to cheat or love them more than you, they just think they are hot.
I think Kiefer Sutherland is hot but I'm not going to cheat on my boyfriend with him. (Even if that op... (read in full...)
Sex and dating terms confuse me
Q. so im just curious as to what all of your opinions are on what the bases are? like when a guy "gets to second base" or "third"....stuff like that. i have discussed this with a few friends, both male and female, and it seems the males have a very ...
A. 20 June 2006: I think Dolomite has put down what most see as "generally speaking" the bases but the main thing is that you only do what you feel comfortable with.
Don't label your relationship or sexual activities. Just enjoy them and do only want you want to.... (read in full...)
how to get over an ex?
Q. whats the best way to get over your x girl friend...
A. 20 June 2006: (1) Chuck out her stuff or put it away. You don't want to have to look at something she gave you or something of hers every time you walk into your bedroom.
(2) Write down all the bad stuff in the relationship. The reasons you broke up, the thin... (read in full...)
My ex hates me because I couldn't remain friends... Who's in the wrong?
Q. Is it wrong for my ex to be upset when I told her that I couldn't be her friend because I love her too much and I need time to grieve and move forward. She has moved on and I just want to do the same but she hates me because I don't want to be ...
A. 20 June 2006: You are not wrong.
It's ok not to be friends with someone, in particular an ex.
Some people can break up and straight away be great mates, some break up and never speak to each other again, some break up, perhaps don't see each other for a few ... (read in full...)
Harrassed at work! What next?
Q. I think I was being harrased at work by a male co-worker. What should I do?...
A. 20 June 2006: Good advice so far.
You have to report it to your boss/supervisor.
Every person in the workplace has a right to feel safe - safe from dangerous working conditions and safe from unwanted attention from co-workers (be that abuse, bullying,... (read in full...)
She never tells the truth!
Q. Hi, okay basically i've been with my girlfriend for nearly 3 years. i love her, I know that much, but I'm not sure if she feels the same. It all boils down to a trust issue, because i know she's lied to me in the past about the most trivial thi...
A. 20 June 2006: Is it possible to love someone who you don't trust? Yes but it's a pretty hard life isn't it?
It's not easy to be in a relationship in which you are always looking over your shoulder and worrying and doubting everything someone tells you. It makes... (read in full...)
Wedding is next Monday but I dont want to marry him at all! Help.
Q. Wedding is Next Monday but I dont want to marry him at all! I (27 years old)can not believe I will marry a man(29 years old) I have lost sexual interest in him for almost one year, he is kind,loyal and giving, but he is not my type. At the begi...
A. 20 June 2006: Someone will get hurt. There is no way out of this situation that doesn't result in that.
If you marry him, you will get hurt as will he because you will be lying to him.
If you don't marry him, you will both feel hurt and pain but at least you... (read in full...)
Should I ask him to move in with me?
Q. hey i am 21 years old and i live on my own with my little 4 moths old baby in a small 2 bedroomed bungalow. i have a good part time job at around £255 a month. we are sellted in our house but i am alone. i feel so empty. i do have a boyfriend that i ...
A. 19 June 2006: Why do you want him to move in?
Because you are bored or because you love him?
If you really love him and care about him and want to take the relationship to the next step and you feel its right, do it.
If you are just doing it because yo... (read in full...)
Does he or doesn't he?
Q. how can i tell if my boyfriend mastorbates?...
A. 19 June 2006: Most men do. Most women do.
Nothing wrong with it - doesn't mean he doesn't love you or doesn't find you attractive.
People do it for different reasons - for some its a tension relief.
Some do it a lot, some people not much.... (read in full...)
Is he still in love with his ex? He didn't delete her photos!
Q. My boyfreind and I was checking his e mail when I saw a folder and asked him to open it. Inside was pictures. One of his ex... Knowing that I saw them and was upset he didn't even delete it. Does that mean that he's still holding on to her and I sh...
A. 19 June 2006: The fact that he opened it in front of you indicated perhaps he forgot it was there or is not a big deal.
I have photo's of my ex in a box in my wardrobe. I am well over him but I still have them. Doesn't mean I'm in love with him still.
It's... (read in full...)
Am I paranoid or is my boyfriend still obsessed with his ex.
Q. Hello, I'm in a relationship with a guy who i really really like. I've known him for ages and we get on really well. The only problem is before we got together he was really in love with this girl who always sent him mixed signals, during this tim...
A. 19 June 2006: (1) you might just be paranoid. it is possible that she is just his mate and nothing more and his feelings for her have completely gone now because he is in love with you. and if that is the case you need to calm down and trust him.
or
(2) he ... (read in full...)
He abused me..should I stay or go?
Q. Me and my boyfriend are having problems he physically abused me and was arrested. I love him and I don't know what to do? I don't know whether to stay or go? He is on medication to keep him calm and he has been doing better. He still has mood swi...
A. 19 June 2006: My mother always told me that it is better to be alone than in a relationship with a loser.
I live by that advice.
In my book, any woman who is abused by her husband or partner is better off alone. any woman who feels "like dirt" when they ... (read in full...)
I want to wait for marriage but don't know if I like girls or guys?
Q. I'm single 22 male, and stuck in a cross roads with my sexuality. I'm confused about sex before marrage, but my problem is I don't know where i'm going and who I'll be compatable with, either a man or a woman. I'd like to wait to have sex with th...
A. 19 June 2006: Is sex before marriage ok? Well, that is a personal question and one that comes from an individuals values, morals, views and beliefs.
I'm catholic and whilst I believe in the teachings of the catholic church, I am not a conservative catholic... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and his funny ideas!
Q. My boyfriend that I've been with about a year recently started talking about his fantasy of seeing me with another woman. I personally don't find the idea appealing, I can imagine having an emotional relationship with another woman but not a sexual ...
A. 19 June 2006: I think a lot of people would agree with you and not think this fantasy was anything to get excited about.
Some people want threesomes, some just fantasise about them and some actually do them. My view is each to their own - want to do it, as l... (read in full...)
My sister is always making a play for my boyfriends!
Q. My younger sister always makes plays for my boyfriends. She is now 22 and about to get engaged, but whenever I bring a date or guy I am seeing around she gets all googly-eyed and starts flirting with him like crazy. She even hooked up with one of ...
A. 19 June 2006: Obviously your sister has pretty low self esteem if she feels the need to flirt with your boyfriends.
Doesn't she have any boyfriends of her own?
It sounds like she loves the attention and is just trying to be competitive with you.
I wouldn... (read in full...)
My sister is always making a play for my boyfriends!
Q. My younger sister always makes plays for my boyfriends. She is now 22 and about to get engaged, but whenever I bring a date or guy I am seeing around she gets all googly-eyed and starts flirting with him like crazy. She even hooked up with one of ...
A. 19 June 2006: Obviously your sister has pretty low self esteem if she feels the need to flirt with your boyfriends.
Doesn't she have any boyfriends of her own?
It sounds like she loves the attention and is just trying to be competitive with you.
I wouldn... (read in full...)
I have a nice BF but he is not the most handsome chap!
Q. hi i am 14 years old and i have a bf that is 16. he is the kindest person i have ever met. the thing is he is not the best looking guy out there. i love him to bits and has the nicest personality ever. he gives me hugs and doesnt push me into ...
A. 19 June 2006: Looks aren't everything.
Have you ever seen "Shallow Hal"? I suggest you rent that out, its a funny film but has a good message that it is the inner beauty that really counts.
What would you prefer? Someone who is incrediably sexy and hot but... (read in full...)
Sexual attracted to my brother-in-law, should i make my move of not?
Q. Allow me to introduce to you the thought that is way and heavy on my mind I am married to a guy who works and drinks a lot and his older brother is married and his wife isn't doing so well, health wise. My husband's brother stops for a visit he...
A. 19 June 2006: I think that you before you do anything is sort out your relationship with your husband.
If things are not good between the two of you, then you should either talk to him and try and sort it out or leave him. If you are not happy, having an affai... (read in full...)
Help! It's be a year and i'm still not over him.
Q. Hi, I went out with this lad 3 times and I really thought I liked him but he messed me around, so I was the one who always broke us up. He keeps asking my friends out just to spite me and he's even told my other friends that he was messing arou...
A. 19 June 2006: Why do you want to be with him when he is so undeserving of you?
You need to start looking at him for what he is - a liar, a cheat and a game player. Stop thinking about him being great and stop looking at him through rose coloured glasses.... (read in full...)
Not sure i'm ready for a lesbian relationship, how to let my gf down?
Q. I'm really confused, I'm 16 and my girlfriend she lives about 3 hours away from me and I really really like this guy who only lives 3 minutes away. I know this sounds stupid but is it wrong to want a relationship with someone you can see nearly ...
A. 19 June 2006: Just be honest and tell her that you like her but are not sure if a lesbian relationship is for you at this point in time.
People experiment and sometimes think that they are suited to a gay or lesbian relationship and then down the track, d... (read in full...)
Suspisions that i could be pregnant.
Q. Last month i had suspisions that i was pregnant and then my period came three weeks late for only three days. now my period has not come this month and i dont know what to think. i have alot of symptoms but i had my period for three days last month ...
A. 19 June 2006: See your GP - you'll do your head in otherwise worrying!
Go to your doc and have a chat. Firstly you can see if you are or aren't pregnant, secondly if you are not, you can have a chat about your cycles to make sure everything is ok.
... (read in full...)
I want to be independent but can't seem to get a job. Help!!
Q. I am 17 years old and i don't understand what i am doing wrong! Every time I apply for a part time job, the place never gets back to me and people with less qualifications than me get the job. I have been trying to earn some extra money for abou...
A. 19 June 2006: *Check out some of the careers websites that list jobs, often they have helpful tips on how to put together a more professional resume, interview techniques, possible questions etc.
*Think outside the box in terms of jobs and take the first st... (read in full...)
Which guy should I choose?
Q. I like two guys and I'm finding it difficult to decide between the two of them One of them (R) is my boyfriend. We've been together about 8 months so I'm afraid of throwing that away for the other guy when it might not last. At the same time my...
A. 19 June 2006: I think you need to deal with your current relationship before you even think about anyone else.
I would talk with your boyfriend and see where this is all going. It doesn't sound like a relationship that is in good shape and perhaps it is time ... (read in full...)
I'm 12. Am I too young to make out?
Q. im 12. too young to make out?...
A. 19 June 2006: Perhaps you have answered your own question.
Why the rush? There is plenty of time for all of that later. Just enjoy being 12, its a fun time and doesn't need to be complicated with things that you have years and years and years ahead of you to e... (read in full...)
Culture Shock!
Q. I have been dating a Portuguese boy for almost a year now, only promlem...I'm not Portuguese. A giant family and huge cultural gatherings mean so much to the Portuguese people. He has tried taking me to these events knowing it could be slightly ...
A. 19 June 2006: It sounds like this is very confronting, especially in larger groups. Perhaps it might be worth meeting some of his family in a smaller groups?
I think you need to talk to him and mention you are feeling a little bit out of place so he knows ho... (read in full...)
I want to lose it to another virgin
Q. I'm 15 years old and my boy friend is 17. We have been dating for a year in about a week. He's not a virgin (he lost it when he was drunk).. but i am. He tells me all the time that he loves me and that we are going to be together forever. But the ...
A. 19 June 2006: It seems that you are worried that he will compare you to the first girl.
Realistically, if he was drunk, he probably can't really remember the first time, secondly, obviously it wasn't that good if he really regrets it.
I wouldn't worry t... (read in full...)
Can exes really be close friends? & is it wrong to not want past sex partners of his @ our wedding!?
Q. Can exes really be close friends? I always thought not, but my fiance is practically best friends with his ex and I'm really not comfortable with that. I'm not worried that he'll do anything with her (she has a serious boyfriend too) but I am really ...
A. 16 June 2006: Is the issue that they are still friends or she will be at the wedding or both?
Realistically, if they have become friends now you can't force him not to see her and if they are friends it is reasonable that he should want her at the wedding.... (read in full...)
My date cancelled, I refused to see him again, over-reacted, then apologised - but haven't heard from him! What should I do?
Q. I was supposed to be going out with this guy..."first date" we had been chatting on phone all week and when it came to the day he rang me in the morning to confirm details of the evening. He then rang me 45mins before our date to cancel. He said ...
A. 15 June 2006: I think the ball is in his court and really you can't blame the guy for not calling back.
People have things that come up. Doesn't mean they are players or cheats or bad people. They just have stuff they want to do and personally I think it was r... (read in full...)
How do I get over someone and pretend they never existed?
Q. What is the best and quickest way to get over someone and move on as if that person never existed, and block them out? How do you get over an ex that you loved more than they loved you?...
A. 14 June 2006: Unfortunately when it comes to getting over people there are no instant solutions, no real quick fixes but there are some ways that can assist you.
(1) keep busy - don't allow yourself to dwell on it all the time, keep yourself busy with work, fr... (read in full...)
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