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male
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*mo
writes: whats the best way to get over your x girl friend Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Hopeful +, writes (20 June 2006):
 (1) Chuck out her stuff or put it away. You don't want to have to look at something she gave you or something of hers every time you walk into your bedroom.
(2) Write down all the bad stuff in the relationship. The reasons you broke up, the things that annoyed you, the things that you didn't like about the relationship. This will help you look at the relationship clearly and not through rose coloured glasses.
(3) Spend lots of time with family and friends
(4) Take up something new - a new hobby, sport, class, gym membership, musical instrument, collect something. This will give you something new to think about and allow you to meet some new people.
(5) Plan something nice for yourself - save up to buy something you have always wanted, plan a holiday. Spoil yourself with something.
(6) Distract yourself. Whenever you feel yourself getting too depressed or down about the breakup, do something else, go for a jog, play a computer game, take the dog for a walk, read a favourite book...whatever it takes to get your mind off her.
(7) Know that you won't feel this way for ever. Things will be better and you will be over her in no time and you will meet someone else.
Good luck.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2006): Hey omo,
Buddy, I'm sorry about your break up, I'm going through a breakup now myself, and this website has been a God Sent, all of the help has helped me, it's not easy at all, there are times that I think I'll be ok, then the next I'm thinking about my ex, but now when that happens I think and say to myself, it's their loss, and that I deserve a whole lot better with more love and affection.
Don't rush into anything, or into any other relationships, you need to heal, and you are not alone, infact I suggest you browse the(break-up) or (ex's) pages of this site from May and June, as there are a lot of brilliant things there and my posts are there from my sudden breakup too.
I wrote my ex's number's on a piece of paper, and put it in a box together with somethings that reminded me of our good times,which are now my "painful thoughts" i put them away and I don't look at this box. then I deleted all of his numbers from my mobile.
Don't text or email her, just give yourself some time and some space to reflect on where you want to go in life, and on where you want to be, and WHO you want to be.
What I find does help, and I was told to do this by some of the wise aunts and uncles on this site was to right down the things that made me unhappy in the relationship, things that made me feel uncomfortable, and insecure, and vulnerable, and things that I disliked about my ex, and our relationship.
I'll be honest with you, when I first tried writing the things down, I had nothing to write down, I cried, as I though my ex was perfect and that it was my fault, which It wasn't, I thought I wasn't good enough.
However as the days went on, I starting jotting the things that made me angry, and things that hurt me while in the relationship, and I found a pattern and I was too blind in love to see what was happening, I was being emotionally abused, and my emotions where taken advantage of, and my ex played on my emotions, and my insecurities resulting in my happiness revolving around him.
I know this will sound stupid, but it made the hugest difference for me.
I used to have slightly longer hair, that my ex loved passing his hands thru, and I had highlights. Well I cut It short, cut all the highlights out, and when I saw myself in the mirror I felt better and when i looked at the hair on the floor I felt lighter and free, and attractive, and infact got hit on- lol.
Change things around, get rid of things that remind you of her until you feel better, and remember it's her lose not yours.
Your special lady is out there and she is waiting for you, just like you are waiting to find her.
I hope this has helped in some way. keep us posted.
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A
female
reader, maxee +, writes (19 June 2006):
 it is quite hard to get over a loved one. there comes a time wereby we all have to move on.tell you what dont only think about the good things that u 've experienced but those that made u break up.the best thing to do is to spice up your social life which will encourage you to meet new people, introduce some tasteful hobbies
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A
male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (19 June 2006):
 I couldn't have typed it any better. Great Advice. Go out and do things that make you happy and try, as hard as it may seem, to put this in the past and move on. Me personally I hate that phrase "MOVE ON". It should be live on because you can and will. Biggest cliche and what you will hear the most of "Time is a great healer". You will hear that so much you want to scream or punch the next person that says it. It is true. Lose contact and mend your own life. Have fun and enjoy living. I hope this helps Good Luck.
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A
male
reader, iloveamy  +, writes (19 June 2006):
I am currently going through this...i want my ex back - but she seems to want to 'move on'...so i'm just keeping busy - doing things i used to do before i met her and stuff like that.
It is hard, but i'm holding it together...just.
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A
female
reader, Smiler +, writes (19 June 2006):
 Hey Babe
Firstly i'm sorry to hear your so sad :o(, its a painful place your at right now; everyone at one time in their life has been there where your at its not nice, it feels really crap.... but i will try my best to help you through this ok.... well babe they say time is a great healer and helps you get over ex partners but if your anything like me i shuddered just hearing or saying the word ex cause i so much wanted him back... but hey i'm hear to tell you from experience that if you are strong and confident babe you can get through this and see the light at the end of the tunnel.... i know you can't see that light right now but trust me its there. i can understand why you hurt like you do cause you obviously loved her deeply, i think that i would cut all ties with him change your mobile number if need be, but try to block her and all those painful feelings out cause it will be less painful that way, rather than thinking what you can't have any longer, keep going out with your mates and having fun... then i think you'll on the right tracks to getting over her... as for hurting part me personally i would find something to do in my spare time that kept me busy so i did'nt have time to sit around thinking about him and wanting him.. the painful side of this will take time to heal, don't jump straight in with someone new you'll just be on the rebound babe.... take time to heal go out with your mates have some fun as the saying goes laughter is the best medicine, try and enjoy life so you don't constantly find yourself thinking of her then before you know it you'll be standing in that light at the end of that tunnel rather than just looking for it ok babe :o)firstly i'm sorry to hear your so sad :-(,its a painful place your at right now; everyone at one time in their life has been there where your at its not nice.... but i will try my best to help you through this ok.... well babe they say time is a great healer and helps you get over ex partners but if your anything like me i shuddered just hearing or saying the word ex cause i so much wanted him back..and like you if my ex had texted me the whole night it would of killed me to..... but hey i'm hear to tell you from experience that if you are strong and confident babe you can get through this and see the light at the end of the tunnel.... i know you can't see that light right now but trust me its there. i can understand why you hurt like you do cause you obviously loved him deeply, i think that its terible of him to text you like that i would cut all ties with him change your number if need be, but try to block him and all those painful feelings out cause it will be less painful that way, rather than thinking what you can't have any longer, keep going out with your mates and having fun... then i think you'll on the right tracks to getting over him... as for hurting part me personally i would find something to do in my spare time that kept me busy so i did'nt have time to sit around thinking about him and wanting him.. the painful side of this will take time to heal, don't jump straight in with someone new you'll just be on the rebound babe.... take time to heal go out with your mates have some fun as the saying goes laughter is the best medicine, try and enjoy life so you don't constantly find yourself thinking of him then before you know it you'll be standing in that light at the end of that tunnel rather than just looking for it ok babe.
I hope my advice helped you babe, keep smiling and good luck with your situation ok, If you ever need someone to talk to on just a friend to listen or even more advice, feel free to email me i would love to hear from you again ok
You Take Care Babe X
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2006): Be patient, give yourself time. Losing someone you love/care about is never easy, whatever the circumstances.
Don't lock yourself away - go out with friends - do all of the things you enjoy doing.
You won't forget your ex easily but in time you will meet other girls and one of them will turn out to be the right one for you - she is out there now - it is only a matter of time before you meet her.
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A
female
reader, auntie claire +, writes (19 June 2006):
 dear "omo" find something to keep your mind occupied. don't give yourself time to think about the past, take it as experiance and do the best you can to move forward, it does no-one any favours to keep a hold of the past.
i know its going to be hard but you have to be strong and concentrate on looking forward to the future.
try and go out meet new friends, find a hobby. do whatever you have to do or you'll end up riving yourself crazy
all the best to you keep us posted xxx
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