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male
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anonymous
writes: I'm single 22 male, and stuck in a cross roads with my sexuality. I'm confused about sex before marrage, but my problem is I don't know where i'm going and who I'll be compatable with, either a man or a woman.I'd like to wait to have sex with the right person, but how do i find out who or should i say which sex will be the right one for me?i don't want to sleep around-thats the last thing plus I have respect for myself, but how do i make a certain precise decision?is sex befor marrage ok, even if you're dicovering who you are before you make the biggest mistake of your whole life, and commit yourself to someone without "exploring" the other options??Thank you. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Smiler +, writes (19 June 2006):
 Hey Sweetie
Well i feel sex before marriage is a very personal chioce it all depends on your wants and beliefs on the subject, nobody can say whether your morals are right or question your choices... that babe has to be up to you, but as for the sexual confussion at 22 is completely normal you may even be biosexual and enjoy relationships with both sexes you know and thats ok too :o) why not date a couple of guys then girls then simply decide which of the 2 you prefer or whether you like both... you will know deep down what makes you feel good and happy inside let your heart lead the way... be happy and confident. I understand your confused about sex before marriage but you know if you wanna save yourself for marriage thats your own personal decesion to make that will earn you respect but will also be frustrating you could end up waiting ages you know :o)
I hope my advice was able to help you out with your situation babe and good luck with this... if you ever need a friend or a chat or just more advice don't hesitate to email me sweetie, I would love to hear from you again and know how you got on... Remember i'm always here for you anytime ok
You Take Care Sweetie X
A
female
reader, Hopeful +, writes (19 June 2006):
 Is sex before marriage ok? Well, that is a personal question and one that comes from an individuals values, morals, views and beliefs.
I'm catholic and whilst I believe in the teachings of the catholic church, I am not a conservative catholic - I believe sex before marriage is ok, as is birth control. But they are my views and views that I have developed during my life.
Other people may disagree with me but that is their view and that's ok too.
You have to decide what is important to you and how you view these things. If waiting is important to you, then wait. If it is not important to you, then don't wait.
No one can tell you what is wrong and right when it comes to moral and value based things such as sex before marriage - it is a personal thing.
In terms of your confusion, at 22, these things can be really confusing. Many people in their teens and twenties go through stages of questioning themselves and asking who am I and what do I want out of life. This is not unusual and very common.
If you believe there is a possibility you might be gay perhaps you should consider maybe dating some men. You don't have to sleep with them but if you think you would like to be in a relationship with a man, give it a go. This way you can test the waters and see what you are interested in and if its not you and you prefer to date girls, fine, go ahead and date girls.
You don't have to "sleep around" to discover if you are looking for a relationship with a man or a woman. You can date and meet people but if you are not comfortable, you don't have to go all the way.
I would sit down and evaluate what it is important to you and then start dating. Meet some new people and spend time with them. This will help you decide what you want and then if you meet someone special of either sex, you can decide how you would like to proceed then.
Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2006): Well fundamentalist religious people will tell you that God created you for women, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, blah blah blah, but personally, I suggest that though your ideals of waiting it out until after marriage is honorable, it isn't realistic.
You don't have to sleep around, but to discover your sexual orientation, you might want to start dating girls. Possibly even try dating guys. The thing you need to 'find' is how your connect with each gender, and if it makes you feel comfortable and intimate with him/her. You might need to go through different people, just as homosexuals, bisexuals, trans, and heterosexuals date - it might take a few people you find a match.
IMPOV, no sex before marriage is idealistic, but not realistic, unless you follow text-book religions.
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