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male
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*staroth
writes: Hi, okay basically i've been with my girlfriend for nearly 3 years. i love her, I know that much, but I'm not sure if she feels the same.It all boils down to a trust issue, because i know she's lied to me in the past about the most trivial things such as exam results, her past, her family life and even where she stayed on holiday. This kind of makes me wonder what else she's lied to me about. She doesn't know i know, because when I ask her (done it twie not to make it too obvious) she denies all knowledge. I know shes lied because of things her parents have told me. I get paranoid when she goes out without me because i wonder if she lied to me abotu that, what if she's cheating on me. She's reluctant to introduce me to her friends (all male + her type) but not to talk about them. i want to know what i should do? i don't want to end it with her because i do love her, but is it possible to love someone you're really not sure you know? thanks guys!
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reader, Astaroth +, writes (20 June 2006):
Astaroth is verified as being by the original poster of the question hopeful, ihave confronted her about a few things but when i do she just brushes it off and changed the subject. Thank you both! :) x
A
female
reader, toritor567 +, writes (20 June 2006):
If your girlfriend is being dishonest with you about some small things you dont know what else she isnt telling the truth about. But if you really trust her and you dont think that she would lie about sonething to you than you have nothing to worry about. But if your not sure you really need to talk to her. z
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A
female
reader, Hopeful +, writes (20 June 2006):
 Is it possible to love someone who you don't trust? Yes but it's a pretty hard life isn't it?
It's not easy to be in a relationship in which you are always looking over your shoulder and worrying and doubting everything someone tells you. It makes you feel scared, worried and on edge. It's not fun.
I have been in love and in a relationship with no trust. If I had my time again, I would have gotten out a hell of a lot quicker because in the end I realised that I couldn't live like that. I couldn't live in doubt and fear that I was being lied to.
Have you ever confronted her about these smaller lies? Does she know that you have caught her out? If so, when you caught her out, what was her reason for lying?
Does she perhaps have some sort of a problem where to her a lie is not a lie?
If you really do love her and want it to work, perhaps see a couples counsellor who can help by giving you some trust excercises to help build up this part of your relationship. You might even be able to get to the bottom of why she lies about so many things in her life.
I understand you love her but do you love her enough to live a life where you don't believe a word your partner says? It's a big question and I hope that you answer it in a way that is best for you.
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