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... Send *arcypher a private message | | | *arcypher's profile:I have been in many relationships. I have four children, not all with the same mother. I have had many jobs from working on oil refineries to night club doorman. I have qualifications in computers and science. I have been out of work due to a car accident while I was driving a taxi. Training at the gym and running takes up some of my spare time.
I am straight to the point and don't like mincing my words. Although I have a huge sense of humour and am very well liked. Religion and any dogmatic beliefs piss me off. And I hate greedy politicians and all the verbal crap they pour down our throats.
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Should I tell him he still has to wait for one more year? Or should I just cut all communications to him just like what my friends want me to do?
Q. I met this guy, about 4 months ago at this university and I actually like him. We hang up for a day but sadly that day has to end. He asked for my number and I gave it to him. and I have to leave the city, I have to get back home. like him. But we ...
A. 21 April 2011: Sometimes long distance relationships don't work even when the people in question are married. At your ages I cant see any of you waiting another year when you will be so preoccupied with your own lives. It is time to move on. There will will be ... (read in full...)
Girl I'm interested in has been avoiding me since we had lunch? Is she not interested anymore?
Q. I met a girl in one of my college classes, and ended up having a big crush on her after a few days. For a while I thought she was sending me interesting signals (i.e. jumping in on my conversations with the professor, laughing at every joke I made, ...
A. 5 April 2011: Maybe she is putting school work before boys as I hope my three daughters do.... (read in full...)
How do I make my husband believe I wont leave him?
Q. I got legally married 6 months ago. My parents nor my husband's parents are aware of the wedding. Since we belong to different communities it took some time to get my husband's family to accept me. Now a social wedding is being planned for the month ...
A. 5 April 2011: If marriage doesn't make him feel secure then I'm not sure what will. People in general are more insecure now though than ever before for all kinds of reasons. Sounds like you two, as adults, should be taking care of your own affairs without parents ... (read in full...)
My husband and I cannot agree on socializing. He wants to and I do not. Please advise.
Q. My husband is extremely sociable and I am quite a withdrawn insular person. I work as a Consultant at a teaching hospital and deal with patients, friends, relatives and staff all day long and when I am at home I do not particularly want to go out, ...
A. 4 April 2011: Me and my ex wife had a similar problem. She wanted to go out and I wanted to stay in. I think for a relationship to work you have got to find a comprimise or be unhappy with each other and fail as we did. I know it's not always that simple, but ... (read in full...)
He doesn't deserve my trust or faith but is love worth the gamble?
Q. This is a bit long because I feel like I should explain everything. I met this guy randomly on a night out. I was feeling a bit down cos my little sister had recently moved in with her boyfriend leaving me the only one in the family single (e...
A. 29 March 2011: Love is always a gamble even in the best circumstances. Look at Paul Mcartney.... (read in full...)
Is it true that only time is a healer?
Q. I was just wondering how you get over a break up? I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years in January and it is still hurting. I know the break up was right for me as I am at Uni and the relationship was getting difficult to keep healthy and happ...
A. 29 March 2011: They say time is a healer, not: only time is a healer. There are loads of things that heal and the time it takes varies with each individual.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend needs a break because he has alot on his plate
Q. My boyfriend and I have been going out for quite a while. (4 years) We've had our ups and downs like any other relationship however I feel like we rarely do anything anymore. He never takes me out. He never makes plans for us to go out or do ...
A. 29 March 2011: He is making the same mistake I did in a relationship. He has become complacent and not realising how important it is to work on relationship no matter how long you been together. Like me he will regret it when it is too late unless you make him see ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is stessed out and busy, I have to beg for sex, and his good looking team mate is flirting with me...
Q. I've been with my boyfriend Eric for four years, and we've been living together for over two of those years. We've been good friends since the ninth grade (we're both 27 now), and we share a lot of the same friends. He's a really great guy; he ...
A. 29 March 2011: Don't beg for sex. I never have and never will. Have pride in yourself.Never mind about pride coming before a fall. Anything can come before a fall.... (read in full...)
Why does this girl blurt out bits and piece of her past, and was she a cheater?
Q. So guys, I've been dating this girl for 5 months now, and she keeps telling me bits and pieces of her past, without me asking her to, so not too long ago we were having some alone time, and again she blurts more things out, and I ask her "why are ...
A. 29 March 2011: I think very few people learn from their mistakes. Wisdom is a rare thing and not found in fools. Most people who are promiscuous tend to stay that way. Thats why today more marriages than ever before fail. If someone is a known cheat they don't ... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm not as good as her ex!
Q. im having a problem... my gf and her ex never had to use a condom during sex... i have premature ejaculation therefore i use a condom to help me last longer..she tells me she doesn't mind at all but it bothers me.. i feel like a loser.. i feel like ...
A. 29 March 2011: Why would you feel like you not as good as her ex? After all he is her EX. No matter how good someone says their ex is good in bed it only applies to that person in question. Someone else with the same fella or woman might say they are crap. I ... (read in full...)
Will anal sex hurt every time?
Q. ok so my boyfriend and i want to have anal sex..does anyone have tips. and is there anyway to make it hurt less...other than a lot of lube.. and will it hurt everytime.....
A. 29 March 2011: Iv'e never been one for anal sex, but I have known women who insist on it being done to them leaving me feeling chagrined and awkward. But under the sheets we want to be the best and so do what is asked. I refused to once with a girl and she left me ... (read in full...)
How do I get a woman in the mood for sex?
Q. I want to have sex with a girl how should I get her in the mood? ...
A. 29 March 2011: It just happens. You don't ask her if she in the mood, just follow your instincts and if she says no, run in the bathroom and finish yourself off. What women don't always realise is that sometimes the man might be the one to say no, it doesn't go ... (read in full...)
My wife enjoys telling me all about her past sexual encounters...is this normal?
Q. my wife tole me about all her sexual encounters after her devorce from her st husband and seemed to enjoy telling me even though I hadn't asked. Is this normal.? xxx...
A. 29 March 2011: It might turn her on telling you. My wife was the same. If it makes you jealous tell her to shut up; if it turns you on ask her for more.... (read in full...)
Why did my ex un-friend me on facebook when she found out I was dating someone
Q. I date this girl for about 4 years. We broke up in August very amicably. We both loved each other but knew because of our circumstances could not get married. So I found out on fb 2 months later that she had met someone then she got engaged to ...
A. 29 March 2011: I unfriended my ex wife on face book when she started seeing someone else. It was because I couldn't stand seeing her with someone else. Feelings were still there on my part.... (read in full...)
I just don't want to have sex with him anymore
Q. I am a 27year old female who has been in a relationship with a guy for 4years now. We have had a daughter together and we live together in a home with his parents. For the past 2 years after i had our daughter i am not interested in having sex with ...
A. 27 March 2011: For one thing sex is not a reward given from one to the other when in a relationship. It is a mutual feeling to enjoy it from both.
Your problem might be hormonal if it started after you had your child. If it the way he is that put you off ... (read in full...)
He's went back to his wife 28 times! I've had it!
Q. I bumped in to my first love after 24 years, for two years our lives have been like a rollercoaster. He has now left and gone back to his wife 28 times. I have told him to leave me alone that I have had enough, but he will go a few days and then ...
A. 27 March 2011: He obviously still has something for his wife regardless of you. Most people would have finished him after going back lets say twenty times. Well a few.
I've seen these kind of relationships before, were the wife is always on the scene and no s... (read in full...)
How do I best maintain my relationship with my teenage son when I start dating after divorce?
Q. I would like advice on how to make my relationship with my 13 y.o. son the best it can be after divorce. His Mom and I parted over a year ago, and were recently divorced. We have both moved on with new partners, and while I wish we could have ...
A. 21 March 2011: This happened to me three times as I have kids with three different women. I have my kids every week and just treat them the same as I always have. I take them out and tell them stories etc..When I get with someone new I always introduce them to ... (read in full...)
I want to re-ignite that spark and try again, but what do you think is going through her head?
Q. My ex-girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me 2 weeks ago saying I was the perfect boyfriend, but doesn't love me the same way anymore. She tells me to move on and that she has already moved on and that she doesn't think, love, or miss me anymore....
A. 21 March 2011: The exact same same thing has recently happened to me, only it's my wife of five years. I was told all the same things: find someone else and move on etc... because she doesn't love me any more. When a partners feelings change toward you for ... (read in full...)
9 happy years together, then suddenly says she don't want to be with me
Q. ive been with my gf for 9 years.. i finally asked her to marry me, this was 2 years ago. we have been looking at venues to get married now on the net, pricing things and that. then we went to look at a venue, it was rubish, so we stopped at another ...
A. 21 March 2011: I sympathi.se with you, friend. Me and my wife have just broken up after five years together. I was the best thing since sliced bread when we got together and got married, then months after she changed and said she didn't love me in that way ... (read in full...)
What's the best way to show her I've changed?
Q. So my ex and me have been talking and she just wants to be friends and that me being paranoid, jealous and other things has put her off me. I feel such a fool and trust me I know I was wrong and I just want to show her that I have changed and I'm ...
A. 27 May 2010: Jealousy is an irrational fear of losing someone you love.It can lead to violence and mood swings. It needs to be controlled, or all is lost. I know this because I've been there myself. You can only hope she will listen to you enough to give you ... (read in full...)
He's my best friend I love him too and don't know where to go with this
Q. help ! im worried ive ruined things. im close friends with a guy i work with and i know hes very fond of me and says i have a special place in his heart. we work together all the time and he says he trusts me implicitly. ive supported him through ...
A. 27 May 2010: Simple: tell him how you feel and take it from there.... (read in full...)
I don't have the guts to leave him but I don't want to stay either
Q. I have been in a relationship with my partner for 4 years. We have a 2 1/2 year old daughter. I was 19 when I fell pregnant and at university 3 hours drive from my parents house. I moved in with my partner and I feel that the last few years I have ...
A. 27 May 2010: First, you got to ask yourself: "do you really love him" if you do then make him realise what he is going to lose if he doesn't start showing you more attention. Sometimes people become too complacent and smug, and need to realise something is wrong ... (read in full...)
I've messed up my relationship due to my mood swings and now I have lost the best thing that ever happened to me!
Q. Hey guys, I have messed up a relationship due to my moods and strops i have now lost the best thing to happen to me and i dont know what to do. These are texts that my ex has sent to me today its the first time we have spoke in over a week sinc...
A. 29 September 2009: I never met a woman yet that doesn't have mood swings. I thought all men accepted that that is the way it is. Your ex sounds like he has had all the power in your relationship anyway. Him taking you back all the time. Try ignoring him this time and ... (read in full...)
He cant get over his ex fiancee and wont let me in
Q. okay, so my boyfriend and i broke up 4 days ago. This is a really confusing story - so try to stick with me... I moved back to my home town, after living in the city for 3 months, and when i got home, my bestfriend - Whitney* and i hung out ...
A. 29 September 2009: Sounds like you v'e already lost him. It's time to move on with your life. Don't waste your time and effort on someone who is not interested.... (read in full...)
Sexual Fantasy
Q. So, i've been sorta CASUALLY dating this guy..and the weird thing is..somehow i get turned on and come when i imagine him in bed with another girl from our group. could someone explain why this turns me on? She is no competition at all..but some...
A. 22 June 2009: You get turned on by the thought of having a threesome as thousands of people do. It's just a fetish. We all have them in one form or another. There are a lot of reasons for it . Sexual preferences can't be explained properly so don't listen to ... (read in full...)
Is this woman worth it?
Q. Hello, I'm a single man and recently i've been hooking up with my ex (who has a boyfriend) when we are both drunk. She isnt happy with her boyfriend, this is underpinned by the fact they haven't been intimate in any way for over a year now. I really ...
A. 15 June 2009: Seems like you on the outside anyway, mate. It don't matter how a woman dresses when she goes out that's up to her. My wife dresses how she wants. In summer she wears skimpy gear wether she out with me or not.
Your ex sounds as if she has a dr... (read in full...)
Who schedules sex?
Q. I'm starting to notice that my relationship is one sided and we do thing when she wants to do them, including sex. I was with her the other day and we were in the house watching TV and I wanted to get intimate with her. She tells me no we will have ...
A. 15 June 2009: What you got to realise is that women have all kids of hormone imbalances some more than others, especially at that time of the month. Some don't care for sex as much as others and some are nymphs and can't get enough. Look on the bright side; you ... (read in full...)
She wants space, is this just a nice way of saying goodbye?
Q. I wanted to find out what to do as I have been dating a seperated woman for about 1 year and 8 months. She had been seperated for about a year and a half when I met her and she had only been out on 2-3 dates before me. Right away we hit it off and I ...
A. 15 June 2009: It could be either; she might be saying goodbye or she might just want a break to get her head straight. It sounds like she's got a lot on her plate with the ex/ He is not making it easy for you both, and she is probably scared too with him acting ... (read in full...)
Wants a threesome as a birthday present!
Q. Hey Its my girlfriends birthday soon and she says she would love too try a threesome with another girl she said she has no feelings for the girl its just something too try, but i dont know if am comfortable with this do you think i should s...
A. 12 June 2009: Put it this way: if she's gonna turn then she will wether she has a threesome with this other girl or not. Just go along with it and enjoy yourself. It could end up a happy memory for the rest of your life. Make the best of it, you only live once.... (read in full...)
Wife, lover or solitude?
Q. married. long time. beautiful home, animals, no kids. love her, really really do, just never developed much sexual chemistry, when that was something really important for both of us before we got married. felt lonely, sad. years later - last year - ...
A. 2 June 2009: You want to be with your wife but don't fancy her. You got nothing to lose by trying open relationship, or you could end up with nothing; just seeing your kids once or twice a week as I do. Estranged from your wife. Ask her, she might be all for it ... (read in full...)
Wife, lover or solitude?
Q. married. long time. beautiful home, animals, no kids. love her, really really do, just never developed much sexual chemistry, when that was something really important for both of us before we got married. felt lonely, sad. years later - last year - ...
A. 31 May 2009: Maybe an open relationship would suit you both better that cheating. That way you both get your satisfaction and live happily together, and maybe it might breathe some fire into your sex life with each other.... (read in full...)
I fancy my girlfriends best friend
Q. Here is the situation. Since my first year in high school i started dating a girl. After about 6 months of dating we're getting together in a relationship. Up to now its almost 2 years being together. There are lots of ups and downs in our rel...
A. 31 May 2009: We can all fancy other people even if we are married, but we don't act on these passing feelings if we love the person we are with, unless you are not happy and want to move on.... (read in full...)
I fancy my girlfriends best friend
Q. Here is the situation. Since my first year in high school i started dating a girl. After about 6 months of dating we're getting together in a relationship. Up to now its almost 2 years being together. There are lots of ups and downs in our rel...
A. 31 May 2009: If you don't want to be with your girlfriend because you fancy someone else then it's already over with you both wether the other girl wants you or not. ... (read in full...)
Should I pretend that I am only interested in friendship with her and see what happens?
Q. Where to start I wonder? I am a 39 year old male who was dating a wonderful 33 year old woman for around 5 months last year. We had so much in common and spent a lot of time together. We travelled a lot and were making plans to move in before ...
A. 31 May 2009: I would dump her for good, mate.Firstly she over reacted to the medication, then decided to call it a day. She has a few relationships in between getting back in touch with you and gives you a load of rubbish about feelings. She sounds very fickle ... (read in full...)
How can I prove that I want to be with him and not my ex?
Q. My boyfriend and I got into an agruement just because I told him I still love my ex. We have been together for 3 months, but when I told him he broke up with me. Just 2 months ago he kissed a girl behind my back and he claimed she was a friend and I ...
A. 29 May 2009: almost impossible if you keep telling him you still love your ex. Imagine my wife telling me she still loves her ex husband. It would be over. You see you havn't really moved on if you still love your ex. Your new boyfriend will feel insecure, as ... (read in full...)
I need to be myself again and get my spunk back
Q. Hi I am 28 years old my Husband is 36 years old I love him to death but i feel like I am not me around him I lose my Spunk. He had a previouse relationship where his ex cheated on him and we have been together for 10years and i have put up with him ...
A. 29 May 2009: All this talk about spunk - it means something completely different here in England.
Anyway, Why don't you put it to your husband the way you have on here. You have explained it perfectly. Sometimes the only way is straight to the point. Your... (read in full...)
I don't know if I'm really attracted to this other guy or afraid of commitment to my boyfriend
Q. Advice needed ... I have been with my boyfriend on/off for 2 years now and about 4 months ago we decided to give it a proper go and make our relationship serious. When we were not together we both were involved with other people. The guy i was with ...
A. 29 May 2009: You can't erase anything from your mind. You have to address the problem head on.
You said it's been on and off with your boyfriend for two years. Well that speaks volumes to me: there is a problem with the relationship. From the sound of it y... (read in full...)
On and off relationship, but lately he's been acting a little strange, what's going on?
Q. ok here it goes a big old blurt of worries again lol. ok this dude and me have been on and of since we were 14 and were both 17 turning 18 now. it seems that every so often we get back together then ends ina big to do then the same thing happens ag...
A. 29 May 2009: Only immature people would make jokes about things as personal as that. You should have a good idea of the kind of person he is by now. Don't sleep with him because it might make him happier with you. You should do that only if you want to. But ... (read in full...)
I do love him, but I don't trust him, how do I overcome this problem?
Q. Ok this is a long one, Me and my fiance have been dating for 6 years now and have 2 small boys together.I love him so much and would do anything for him. He has messed up so many times and every time he messes up i feel like a small piece of my be...
A. 29 May 2009: it will not do much good talking I bet you have already tried what the reader has sugested. That would have been the first step. It won't change him. He is set in that pattern of cheating on you and will no doubt carry on. If it was always as simple ... (read in full...)
I do love him, but I don't trust him, how do I overcome this problem?
Q. Ok this is a long one, Me and my fiance have been dating for 6 years now and have 2 small boys together.I love him so much and would do anything for him. He has messed up so many times and every time he messes up i feel like a small piece of my be...
A. 29 May 2009: He is taking the micky out of you. As hard as it is send him packing. He is only after living a single life, with you as the core of his security: someone he can come home to and use when the feeling suits. I know I've done the same to a lovely girl ... (read in full...)
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