A
male
age
51-59,
*wmarinello
writes:Where to start I wonder? I am a 39 year old male who was dating a wonderful 33 year old woman for around 5 months last year. We had so much in common and spent a lot of time together. We travelled a lot and were making plans to move in before Christmas. She built a great relationship with my daughter and I can honestly say that I have never loved anyone or felt so loved in my life. She felt exactly the same way. During September things started to get a bit strained, I was on medication for dizzy spells and I was becoming quite irritable. I explained this to her and she was shocked that I hadn't told her about the medication. Anyway, we spent a disastrous weekend in France towards the end of September where I was seriously thinking about leaving her (although I can't remember why!) but I decided I needed to work through it. When we got back, at the beginning of October she politely left me saying we should be friends for a while.Since last October we have reconciled for a few weeks, although she didn't see it as a reoonciliation. She was dating about three guys a week during that period but we remained in email contact for a few months until last December. In December she cut all contact with me, presumably because she had met a guy that she waonted to invest something in.This is a bit long-winded but bear with me! Come April this year we resumed contact with each other. She had just split up with her boyfriend of 4 months (no surprises around the timing) and I was seeing a woman of 36 years old who have recently split up with. We have met each other three or four times since April and have had wonderful, intimate and very rewarding times together. We have continued to be very flirtatious and tactile while together so I took this as a sign that we could perhaps try to work things back together again. I told her that I still had strong feelings for her and she responded as if this were a bolt from the blue: "I thought you were the last thing on my mind woman-wise" she wrote later. I emphasise here that she wrote this to me. She also wrote the following:"I must say it did take me a long time to 'get over you' as will always remember the first three months (of our relationship)which i thought was something wonderful and precious and never been treated that way before, never felt so wanted. But then sadly things did go wrong and that must admit was ashock to my system. However now i feel that we could work perfectly as friends!"I would be inclined to invoke the "reverse psychology" spiel and say that I need to read between the lines as there is clearly still a lot of love and affection from her side. I want to win her back but I know that time is short as she has just met a guy on the first date.What should I do beyond professing my love for her? Just kiss her and see what happens? Pretend that I am only interested in friendship and hope that love will come from that?Please help!
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male
reader, garcypher +, writes (31 May 2009):
I would dump her for good, mate.Firstly she over reacted to the medication, then decided to call it a day. She has a few relationships in between getting back in touch with you and gives you a load of rubbish about feelings. She sounds very fickle to me. I would get with some one else then and forget about her. I definately don't think she cares about you never mind loves you.
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