A
female
age
36-40,
*rokenhearted21
writes:Hey guys,I have messed up a relationship due to my moods and strops i have now lost the best thing to happen to me and i dont know what to do. These are texts that my ex has sent to me today its the first time we have spoke in over a week since we split. i just want some advice really."i just want to be mates thats all! we cant be together! we can have a chat if you want but i dont see what about?""You made my feelings for you change, i wont feel awkward why would i lol its you who will because your trying to hold onto us but it's not going to happen""yeah you did with your behaviour and your mouth, just pushed me away tried to make me look bad on facebook and than brought charl into it. so my feelings changed because i've got to protect and look after charl. he is number 1 always will be. i lost sight of that for a bit""yeah ok that why i kept taking you back before? i saw the real you a few times and still took you back. i just cant do it. i want a easy life. it isnt easy because of all the shit with charl going on. then you just make it worse and give me more stress when i dont need it. i faced facts that it isnt going to work""i never said i had no feelings for you did i? but i cant go on how we were because it was like it for months. you say you felt the way you did about me so why treat me how you did? look i will talk to u but like i said it wont change anything because of whats already been said and done by you over and over"what can i do guys im a mess x
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (29 September 2009):
You need to focus on yourself. Why are you like this? Is there something in your past that is hurting you? Maybe just spend some time on yourself and find out who you are.
A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (29 September 2009):
 If this is how you are, then I think that you need to focus on YOU for a while. Work out why you feel the need to get the attention? What pushes you to have a mood, or get angry?
I think if you can understand what motivates these mood swings, then I think you will feel much more in control. Maybe go and talk to a professional about it? Sometimes just talking feelings through with a total stranger can actually help you understand yourself.
As for your relationship, I know it is hard, but you are going to get over this guy. You just have to put it down to experience. I think that probably cutting all ties to him is going to be the easiest thing to do - altho it will still be difficult. Continuing a friendship, when one person wants it to be more is probably one of the most painful things to endure.
I think you need to tell him that you can't be his friend, as you still have very deep feelings for him. Concentrate on you for a while, and making your life happy.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (29 September 2009):
If this is how you are, then I think that you need to focus on YOU for a while. Work out why you feel the need to get the attention? What pushes you to have a mood, or get angry?
I think if you can understand what motivates these mood swings, then I think you will feel much more in control. Maybe go and talk to a professional about it? Sometimes just talking feelings through with a total stranger can actually help you understand yourself.
As for your relationship, I know it is hard, but you are going to get over this guy. You just have to put it down to experience. I think that probably cutting all ties to him is going to be the easiest thing to do - altho it will still be difficult. Continuing a friendship, when one person wants it to be more is probably one of the most painful things to endure.
I think you need to tell him that you can't be his friend, as you still have very deep feelings for him. Concentrate on you for a while, and making your life happy.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, brokenhearted21 +, writes (29 September 2009):
brokenhearted21 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou celic tiger,
i know its over i just cant seem to accept it or dont know how. As for my moods im afraid to say ive always been like it and have lost a few relationships due to it, i know that when i go off on one i shouldnt but i dont know how o stop and i think sometimes i do it to get a bit of attention.
I really dont know what to do, hes txt sayin he wans to stay friends and still see me but how can i when i want more than he will offer
x
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (29 September 2009):
Dear Poster
I hate to say it but it does sound like your relationship is over. Men find it very difficult to deal with emotional women sometimes, and even if they do have feelings, they do not want the hassle. I think you need to put this down to experience and move on. He obviously doesnt want to continue the relationship, and if you are getting even more wound up about this, that is not going to help at all. I really do feel for you, because sometimes emotions can be very difficult to control. I think you need to move on, and concentrate on yourself for a while.
Do you know why you have been having these mood swings and strops? Is that your normal personality (I dont mean to be rude, but if we know the facts it is easier to help), or is this something that has come on more recently?
All women have their ups and downs with hormones, this is natural, and I am sure every man has been on the wrong end of a grumpy girl! BUT, if these mood swings are getting out of control, then it could be there is some imbalance in your body, so a trip to the Doctor may help you sort these things out.
I experienced a similar problem with an ex boyfriend, but my mood swings were brought about by the contraceptive pill. It turned me practically overnight, from a sweet charming women into a total monster! Crying, angry rages, total irrational behaviour. It wasnt me, it was the pill, and I couldnt control the mess it was making in my head. He upped and left because of it. Having been through that, I now have a much greater understanding of how drug addicts must feel. It was horrific. I have never been suicidal in my life, but I certainly came close then, all because of the hormones, and I was only taking it for 3 months.
If you are on the contraceptive pill, please go and see your doctor or nurse, because it could be that it is not helping you. If you can get the moods under control you will be a much happier person, so any relationships in the future will be less likely to suffer.
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, garcypher +, writes (29 September 2009):
I never met a woman yet that doesn't have mood swings. I thought all men accepted that that is the way it is. Your ex sounds like he has had all the power in your relationship anyway. Him taking you back all the time. Try ignoring him this time and see if he gets a little nervous and comes looking for you. Tell him to stop moaning and get on with it. From those texts it sounds like he is baiting you a little - keeping you hooked with sentiments.
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