A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I got into an agruement just because I told him I still love my ex. We have been together for 3 months, but when I told him he broke up with me. Just 2 months ago he kissed a girl behind my back and he claimed she was a friend and I still forgave him. He can't even forgive me because of what I told him. What do I do to prove myself that I only want to be with him and not my ex?
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2009): What do you mean 'JUST because" you told him you love your ex??
That's not a mistake that needs to be forgiven. Kissing another girl while in a relationship, and being in love with someone else while youre in a relationship fall under two different categories.
You don't need to be forgiven for being in love with someone else. You needed to be broken up with. What sort of person would want to be in a relationship with someone who was in love with someone else?
A
male
reader, garcypher  +, writes (29 May 2009):
almost impossible if you keep telling him you still love your ex. Imagine my wife telling me she still loves her ex husband. It would be over. You see you havn't really moved on if you still love your ex. Your new boyfriend will feel insecure, as anyone would.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2009): I don't really know but I guess its a trust issue. It would be hard for him to trust you since you did say that you "love" your ex. Whether that is true or not, it would indeed create a lot of problems with your bf.
Looking at your age , I'll assume him to be around the same, I dont expect him to have that adult level of maturity to accept it, so its just something you'll have to hope in time he just trusts you. Tell him that you love him and that you want to be with him and not your ex since after all he is your ex and that now you are not with your ex. The past is what it is, the past and we don't live in the past we live in the now.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2009): well if u still love your ex then why do you still want to be with this other guy?
i can see why he doesnt believe you
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2009): I used to love my ex, even years after we'd broke up, he was abusive and threatened me horribly but for some reason I still cared and couldn't understand why, I told all my boyfriends this, I had to make sure they understood that I still had feelings for someone else, you could try do what I did, I sat down with them and basically said "Look, I still have feelings there for him, I don't know why but I do and it hurts me just as much as it hurts you, I may still care about him but I don't want him at all, YOU are the only person I want to be with and share my love with, if you want me or ever wanted me then you have to understand this, you have to be able to trust that although feelings are there, there is NO chance of me acting on them, I told you because I trusted you, please don't prove to me that trusting you was a bad idea"If he has feelings for you then he should understand, if he gets pissy still then stop trying to convince him, you may love him but it's hard to change someones mind when they are still angry over something.
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