| A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Hi I am 28 years old my Husband is 36 years old I love him to death but i feel like I am not me around him I lose my Spunk. He had a previouse relationship where his ex cheated on him and we have been together for 10years and i have put up with him being jealous and not trusting me. I have never gave him a reason for him not to trust me. I am just getting to the point were I feel like i need some time apart from him. I need to find my self and my spunk again. I have no friend do not go out and have fun because he doesen't want me to. I just spend time at home with my kids. He is a great guy works two jobs and always gets me what i want. But he is always grumpy at home. I married young and had kids. I am tired of trying to make him happy and he isen't happy I am not happy. What should i do? Should i leave him? Or ask for sometime to be apart? Or should I just stay as i am? He won't go to counceling and i just do not want to get to the point to were i hate him or my life.
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male
reader, garcypher  +, writes (29 May 2009):
All this talk about spunk - it means something completely different here in England.
Anyway, Why don't you put it to your husband the way you have on here. You have explained it perfectly. Sometimes the only way is straight to the point. Your head has been in turmoil and there is no room for pussyfooting around him.
One of the worst things for any relationship is jealousy. It eats away at what it is that holds you together and causes insecurity with you both. He has got to trust you and take the plunge and let you have some freedom with your friends. There is nothing else for it. I have been cheated on by my ex who I have two kids with. I'm married now to someone else. I never stop her going out with friends. I got past the jealousy. It's a state of mind that can be overcome. I did it by accepting that it is true that anything can happen in a relationship and you can't help the way you think, but you can help how you react to the negative thoughts of distrust. Instaed of thinking of you with other men when you are out, he should think of how you are happy and enjoying yourself and what he will get when you come home. Believe me, when your husband gets rid of the possesive jealousy he will feel much happier, as you will. I know easier said than done, but he has no choice really, does he? Work on it together for the sake of you boyh and your kids.
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