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*reamlover agony aunt

*reamlover

South Africa  (Male   XML/RSS

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Dating my brothers ex. It bothers me when I think of them having sex

Q.   Ok I will try to sum this up quick. I'm currently dating my brother X. My girlfriend had a pretty ruff break up a few years ago with my brother and I pretty much been there for her helping her out in her problems. During that period we became real ...

A.   12 June 2009: not easy i agree, but you need to remember why you fell in love with this chick, Its not cos your brother has had her its cos you see something in her that you love.Focus on that, you may be the one to give her what she needs from a man and not your ... (read in full...)

Gay relationship woes

Q.   I'm a bisexual man and have been in a relationship with a man for the last seven years, living together for the best part of 6 years. I love him deeply but we have an erratic relationshp and have parted twice because we wanted different things out ...

A.   12 June 2009: Hey there, i have a similar question for you, please message me privately With regards to this i can be honest now, i do that with my BF and when that happens sex becomes one sides, yes we all have emotions and hot times when we want to have sex... (read in full...)

I want to make a change! I'm ready to move on, but am I being selfish?

Q.   Is it time to move on!!! I need help, 8 years going and i find myself in a rut that i just cant get out of... I have been with a guy now for 8 years , we have had several problems but nothing i could not deal with. i was so motivated with l...

A.   12 June 2009: Thanks Gina I feel so alone at this stage, its like im torn between my logical side and my heart. I never knew a person can feel such pain. I know you right and i know its time, but finding the strength to actually make the change is so so ... (read in full...)

Problems with my best guy friend! He's ignoring me now..help!

Q.   Things have got complicated with my best guy friend. We have been friends for 5 years and met at university. It all began with me liking him and flirting when we were out at partys and kissing (nothing more). However he got together with my friend ...

A.   12 June 2009: Hi There, you have the friendship part tied down, whats stopping you from asking him for more or what exactly is going on or what he wants? There is no time like the present, guys dont want to be smothered, dont ask him why his ignoring you etc,... (read in full...)

I want him to realize he's treating me wrong

Q.   help, I got involved with my ex boyfriend after 21yrs, we dated wen i was 16 then split wen i was 20 and he found and contacted me after 21 yrs, after we met he said he was still in love wit me and i felt the same way, but this guy has a lot of ...

A.   20 May 2009: I AGREE with Gina, communication is key, it seems like you the only one getting hurt love, time to state your case and decide from there... (read in full...)

Males please-He seems to like me but I'm unsure about how to make the first move

Q.   Of course all help and/or opinions will be much appreciated, but if possible a male's opinion would be amazing. There's this guy that I've liked for a while, probably a couple of months now and up until about 3 weeks ago, the most I'd said to...

A.   20 May 2009: Hey there, guys are funny creatures. There is no right or wrong in what you want answers to but there is a tactful and tactless way to do it. There is no harm in asking him if he likes you but obviously its not that easy. Why not ask him for dinn... (read in full...)

He makes me feel so lustful but I don't want to lose my virginity!

Q.   I have a lovely boyfriend ... hes my first proper boyfriend and everything is going well but he makes me feel very lustful. I don't want to have sex yet and he doesn't pressure me into it but sometimes when we are caught up in the moment I feel like ...

A.   19 May 2009: NO NO NO, totally not, what you need to do is talk to him and let him know how you feel. Ask him how he feels. If there are two of you who would like to wait then it makes it easier when those moments arrive. Trust me you will have many more m... (read in full...)

Should we spend some time apart?

Q.   Before I start, thanks in advance for any time you take to reply! :-) My b/friend and I have been dating for about a year now. When we first met, as is always the case, he was super damn hot in his fiery sms's, telling me the sexiest things! ...

A.   19 May 2009: Hey there, you sound bright and very interlectual. It seems like you want more, there is nothign wrong with it but remember relationships dont always have that effect they did 6 months into it. What concerns me is that you mentioned 'cling... (read in full...)

To cheat? Or not to cheat?

Q.   I'm happily married but have been texting this friend for the last couple of months. The texts have been very intimate and very flirty! We have both established this turns us both on and subsequently are finding that our sex lives with our parnters ...

A.   19 May 2009: Love be careful with this one, this is lust. To be honest with you its the start of a self distructing desire. You do not need this, look carefully at your life and see whats missing, the only time people start looking around is when somethig... (read in full...)

Keep my confused distance from him? Or do what my parents want?

Q.   So I'm graduating college in June. I have no desire to walk at the ceremony especially considering it's for a blank piece of paper. However, my family desperately wants me to walk and my grandmother even bought my cap and gown for me. To be ...

A.   19 May 2009: hum first of all YOU SHOULD WALK!! Secondly you have done nothign wrong here, ther only thing that is wrong is that the man you love and who says he loves you is not proud of you and is not supporting you for taking this big step to walk infront ... (read in full...)

His ex-my pain

Q.   My boyfriend who loves me to death and wants to marry me left his girlfriend of 1 year to be with me. It was after I declared my feelings for him, said this is why I can't be your friend and walked away from the both of them so they could be happy ...

A.   19 May 2009: hey there, its normal, sub conciously it worried you that he might leave you. You need to let your BF knwo how you feel when she calls and you need to let him know what you epexct. Im sure you dont expect him to walk into another room when she calls ... (read in full...)

Where is this relationship heading?

Q.   When is a good time to bring up the topic of where a relationship is heading? I have been seeing this guy for about 1.5-2months. However he then had to move for work. We knew this from the beguining and I never intended to fall for him like I ...

A.   19 May 2009: hey love, there is no wrong or right time. From the sounds of the way you feel about him you need a face to face chat with him to fidn out how he feels and what he invisions for the future. There is no way you can live your life waiting for someone ... (read in full...)

Confused, heartbroken and wondering if I should fight or walk away?

Q.   For the first time in my life at age 41, I fell in love with wonderful woman. I have/had an attachment disorder and through months of couselling a few years ago, I learned how to connect my heart and head as one. I met this woman and we fell in l...

A.   19 May 2009: hey there, this is a tough one, i am a solid fighter for what i believe in but in this case there is more at stake. Will you be able to handle her walking away if you fight your hardest, will that break you as a person? I would never say this b... (read in full...)

How do I know what foreplay is?

Q.   My boyfriend broke up with me after being with me for six years because I haven't been there for him. It's hard for me doing this cause I have never had to ask anyone for advice but I need to ask someone how do you know what foreplay is? I am not ...

A.   19 May 2009: im a bit confused love, is he not with you anymore because there is no foreplay or getting close to him? After 6 years? ... (read in full...)

Problems in our relationship and need your help!

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together exclusively for 6 months this week. We have been seeing each other for about 9 though. About a month and a half into our relationship, I had sex with an old friend of mine; I cheated on him. My boyfrien...

A.   19 May 2009: Love im so sorry that you got soem harsh remarks on here, yes you were at fault and i can identify with you. But what you must rememeber is that you have to own this, never mind his friends, never mind how his hurt you, its his way of retaliation. ... (read in full...)

Why does sex still hurt so much?

Q.   Ok, So i recently lost my virginity to my bf whom I am very much in love with. I am pretty sure I was ready and have no regrets. I've done it five times now and it's not very fun. The first couple times it hurt alot, and not it hurts for like a ...

A.   19 May 2009: Hi, there is no quick fix to this one hun, there are many factors that come into effect on this one, Some woman are quite tight in that department and it may take a long time esp if your bf is big in his department. What you need to do is commu... (read in full...)

I want to explore his bum like he explores mines but he's not keen!

Q.   Hi I am 24 and have been in a relationship for 9 months with a 30 year old man and it has been great. Our sex during this time has mainly involved me being anally receptive, which I have enjoyed a lot. I have recently asked him if we could switch ...

A.   19 May 2009: Hi There YOu remind me so much of my partner and your partner of me. OK to be honest its a control issue and i have that as well. I do not like to be penetrated and yet its our both first gay encounter yet he is more receptive than i am. Its been... (read in full...)

8 years going... and I'm not happy inside.

Q.   Help Needed 8 years later I'm a Gay man who is with my first guy for 8 years, after the second year i decided to go to France to meet someone else, it was hard but i told my partner that i was not happy and why i was not happy, 6 years later we i...

A.   16 May 2009: Your answer makes perfect sense and i am tired of been the one responsible for everything, but im 28 and i have given him the best part of 8 years and i feel like he dropped me the most when i needed him. Im cold towards him now, im scared to let ... (read in full...)

I'm gay but I have to hide it because of where I live!

Q.   Hello everyone, I have a big problem 'thank God I found this site today 'My story is a painful one and I need a help here wish I can. I'm from part of Africa where gay people were regarded as evil spirits and outcast from the community or from the...

A.   15 May 2009: hey there, im from south africa, and im gay, yu dont have to travel the continent to be who you are, remain true to who you are now, and when you finish your studies leave your place of birth. If you are able to change universities then try that in ... (read in full...)

He's happy to tell me what's wrong with me but doesn't want to hear about his faults

Q.   My boyfriend and I seem to get into arguments about the same thing. Often it will be about something that I do not like about a situation going on. After trying to talk about things we blow up at each other and start insulting each other and ...

A.   15 May 2009: Im sorry i laughed when i read this, and i will tell you why,,,, I think im like your bf, i can dish out what wtong with my partner but he never tells me whats wrong with me cos i just blow up and explode. There is a reason, its how a person is ... (read in full...)

I don't know how to move past the past

Q.   My bf and I met in college. A few months into our relationship I graduated and moved. Things were going well in spite of the distance and we'd spend a lot of time on the phone and see each other when we could. Then he started to get jealous of my ...

A.   15 May 2009: Moving past the past is probably the hardest thing for any one to do!!! The thing you must remember is that if you love him and his changed for you then you owe it to him to give up your fear and trust him. Its hard i know but only once you tr... (read in full...)

Formally requested RSVP, got nothing... Do I say something? Just a party.

Q.   Backstory, good place to start I suppose: Just moved across town. Not many friends, but the friends I have are solid (ish) Anyways, invited a mess of people over for a party, I usually dont throw parties and the roommate was going out of town, ...

A.   15 May 2009: dont cut yourself up about it, its no indication of who is or who is not your friends, you need to do as the previous person said and contact people with a call next time. ... (read in full...)

He wants to break up because of the age difference but it doesn't matter to me.

Q.   Please help, I have just split up with my boyfriend of 8 years. He is 20 years older than me (I am 30 he is 50) and he says he has just woken up to the fact that he is so much older than me. He feels he has to let me go so I can go off and marry ...

A.   15 May 2009: you know as i read this my only thought was FIGHT you love him, why not fight for what you want. Then again from his side he could mean what he says and thats very noble of him or it could be his escape goat. You have to have a serious one... (read in full...)

Is it more simple that I'm thinking?

Q.   I have recently started seeing a women who is in her early 20's. We're very different, but she always has a way to make me smile. The problem is she does confuse me in the way she acts around me. For example she goes very hot and cold. We'll have...

A.   15 May 2009: You remind me of me, clear logical thinker but when it comes to love we fall at the knees. This 'problem' you have is actually not ures, to be far its something that she needs to deal with, and all you can do is support her and be there for her, u... (read in full...)

Problems in our relationship and need your help!

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together exclusively for 6 months this week. We have been seeing each other for about 9 though. About a month and a half into our relationship, I had sex with an old friend of mine; I cheated on him. My boyfrien...

A.   15 May 2009: Its up to you, my tru opinion is that you made a mistake and you cheated those are the bare facts. He needs to know and he needs to decide. If you do loose him its not because you told the truth but because you made an error. You are right by not... (read in full...)

I am happy because he is happy but I cant forget him! Help!

Q.   Help! During uni last year I met a guy studying here from overseas, Abdhul. I initially talked to him a little bit and didn't think much of it, but as i got to know him better, i fell deeply in love with him. We got along really well, and although...

A.   15 May 2009: This on is tough, why do you feel the need to forget him? Dont foorget him he played an important part in your life. He showed you what you really need. Go out there with that bar he has set and dont stop till you find it. You and him may meet in ... (read in full...)

8 years going... and I'm not happy inside.

Q.   Help Needed 8 years later I'm a Gay man who is with my first guy for 8 years, after the second year i decided to go to France to meet someone else, it was hard but i told my partner that i was not happy and why i was not happy, 6 years later we i...

A.   15 May 2009: I agree with you, im still in the UK, should i not go back at least to sort out the life we built? the two houses that we bought, the family that relies on me so much? Dont i at least owe him that? I wanted to stay and make it work on my own but i ... (read in full...)

I had sex with my son's friend, do you think my son knows?

Q.   My son (18) is a frshman in college he is also on the baseball team. A few monthsago he had a bunch of friends/Team mates over they were all in the pool. One of his friends walked in the house. He had no shirt on, I was sitting on the couch he came ...

A.   15 May 2009: Im in a catch 22 with this, firstly you deserve love and you deserev to be happy, but on the flip side your son needs to know, at least from both of you at the same time. It will hurt him but its the truth. When it comes to the 21 year old, i t... (read in full...)

Should I forgive the cheater I'm in love with?

Q.   I have been dating this great guy Chase for 9 months. I though he was Mr. Perfect. I loved him then I found out with was cheating on me. Well actually he was cheating on his finacee with me!!! I found out he was cheating 2 months ago, when I showed ...

A.   15 May 2009: Im confused with the above two replies, makes perfect sense though but my heart does not sit with it. You love him he loves you, no big deal right? This is a big deal, trusting someone with your heart and giving them all you have only to fidn out... (read in full...)

11 years and we break up, any chance of us getting back together?

Q.   my bodfriend and i split up just before christmas after 11 years. its his birthday and he 30 i am 47 i love and miss him so much he says he happy but still texts me at least once or twice a week asking how my new job is. he rung me last week to ...

A.   15 May 2009: Love, its time to move on, if you found the strength to let go after 11 years you need to follow through for both your sakes. He cant have his bread and eat it. Maybe you can be friends? But you need to lay down the rules and conditions if you ... (read in full...)

I have a healthy sex drive but she is just not interested in sex anymore!...

Q.   i am 24, in college, trying to start a career but there is a problem. My g/f and i have been on and off for about 3 years. We've had relationships with other people and even went almost a year without talking once. We are back together and she is ...

A.   15 May 2009: I do believe that you need to talk to your girlfriend, you cant go on without her knowing that you are not been fulfilled. If you want to stay with her then there is only one person that can help you and that your gf. Speak to her and connect ... (read in full...)

I don't know how to act around women but my friends do!

Q.   I don't know how to act around women. When I go to a club, I see my friends casually walk past girls in clubs, rub up against them/touch them up a little and then carry on walking as if nothing happened. Other times it'll happen when they're ...

A.   15 May 2009: hey there, not to worry, you are who you are and that who you must stay. Stay true to yourself. There is no quick fix to finding a girl for just the sex of a partner. If you dont want to deceive youself and be who you not then you should never do... (read in full...)

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