A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I seem to get into arguments about the same thing. Often it will be about something that I do not like about a situation going on. After trying to talk about things we blow up at each other and start insulting each other and finally one of us ceases conversation angrily. When we finally get back to talk to each other we try to talk calmly. But always seem to get something talked about, yet it happens again. The thing I am concerned about is, he is more than willing to talk about the things wrong with me and how to fix me, but gets angrier and mean when I try to show him what he could change. What can I do to get him to understand that a relationship can only be worked on if both people are willing? I love him very much and want him to just understand. All we seem to do is blow up though, how can I calmly explain my side where he will understand? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Dreamlover  +, writes (15 May 2009):
 Im sorry i laughed when i read this, and i will tell you why,,,, I think im like your bf, i can dish out what wtong with my partner but he never tells me whats wrong with me cos i just blow up and explode.There is a reason, its how a person is constructed, he might be an angry person and does not realize it, im angry and i cant tell you why, i always want more in life and im never happy with what i have.What does work is telling him on the off occasion ' it hurts me when you do ... ' not in conversation but just at any point of the day. This makes him think about it, it might not be right away but he will...This works on me, and eventually when we do discuss im open to listeninggood luck
A
female
reader, misswalston +, writes (14 May 2009):
 It seems that he can't handle anything being said about him. A lot of people are like that. They get very defensive and argumentative and that's what it seems like he does every time. If he doesn't accept that there are things about him that need to be worked on, then you and he will not last long. Let him understand that you are not judging him, but you only want to make your relationship the best that it can be and by doing that there are some things that need to be addressed. If he is not willing to at least meet you halfway, you might have to reevaluate your relationship.....Good Luck......
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