A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:For the first time in my life at age 41, I fell in love with wonderful woman. I have/had an attachment disorder and through months of couselling a few years ago, I learned how to connect my heart and head as one. I met this woman and we fell in love. It was so natural and easy for us to be with each other. She has declared her love for me and envisioned a lifetime togeter. We have spent 6 beautiful months together and our relationship was full of love, passion and support for each other A couple of weeks ago, someone who she considers the love of her life saw us togther on facebook. He contacted her and told her he was getting a divorce and he will do anything to be with her. I finally got this out of her. She says she loves me and I am the man of her dreams and possible could be the 2nd love of her life. She is confused because she does not want to lose me but she is not sure she can not pursue him. She says she has a now win situtation and either way she is going to be devastated. As I said in the beginning, she is the love of my life and I finally felt what it feels like to love someone so deeply. My question is what should I do? I am heart broken I think, I can't sleep, eat or focus on much of anything. She wants me and she wants him. I have always been a fighter and I believe this love of my live is something worth having and fighting for. Do I walk away broken hearted knowing I could be the one or do I fight for her. She wants to be with me and she loves me very much. She has told me that and I believe it by her actions. Heartbroken and confused, what should I do?
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female
reader, confwom +, writes (19 May 2009):
 You need to still show her same love and support as you did before. Dont get tensed and dont let your activities show her any difference and be supportive for her. She is the person who has to take the decision here. But try to prepare yourself to face any of her decision and hope/pray for the best.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2009): Absolutely no doubt, you should fight for her. She's the love of your life, why would yo even consider walking? (Actually, I know exactly why....If it was me, i'd be walking away from the heartache its causing)
If you give up, whats she gonna think? Ans. That you don't love her and its fine to see this other man sweep her off her feet.
Try and get her away from him, go on holiday or something, even if you lose her you wanna be able to look back in sadness and say you tryed your damn best. good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2009): Friend, you're in quite a pickle. Leave her alone. Let her figure it out because you don't want to seem pushy. Backing off will also prevent her from feeling smothered and overwelmed and to make her decision easier. If you love her as dearly as you say you do, then you should let her make the choice that will make her happiest, even if it breaks your heart. Allowing her to make such a decision will show her just how much you DO care, and may make her realize it's you she wants.
You have nothing to fight for because it isn't your battle. It's hers. You have to let her walk her own path and if you let her know your beside her all the way, she may very well choose you. You'll only be making life harder on yourself if you become desperate to convince her. Best of luck.
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A
male
reader, Dreamlover  +, writes (19 May 2009):
 hey there, this is a tough one, i am a solid fighter for what i believe in but in this case there is more at stake.
Will you be able to handle her walking away if you fight your hardest, will that break you as a person?
I would never say this but for me the choice i believe is not in your hands. She has told you and been honest with you big ups to her but unfortunatley she cannot have her bread buttered on both sides.
I do believe that its selfish of her to keep her heart elsewhere and still fall in love and tehn consider going back to what she held on to so tight.
My advice as painful as it sounds would be to let her fly away if thats what she wants but you cannot allow a second entry, you deserve to be happy as well.
Talk to her and tell her how you feel and listen carefully to what she wants and needs.
my heart goes out to you
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