A
male
age
41-50,
*reamlover
writes:Is it time to move on!!!I need help, 8 years going and i find myself in a rut that i just cant get out of...I have been with a guy now for 8 years , we have had several problems but nothing i could not deal with. i was so motivated with life. motivated in helping my family who is from a poor background. I think i did well, we own two house got the dogs and had awesome jobs. I wanted more, i wanted the simple things in life so i offered him to leave his job as i earned more, he agreed. Months passed and he never left so i decided to leave and one of the reasons was so that we could have more time, Started a home business and worked at it for 6 months, we still did not connect.I then decided for more drastic change, i said im going to london are you coming? He agreed and off we went this was for us, to make it work.No we have never been alone, we always have family with us, i always wanted to take care of my family and started bringing them to live with me one by one, in the end we have his gran, my sister, my borther (inschool) and nephew in school, and niece who is 5.With everyone relying on me for all kinds of support i thought i had a plan all mapped out. While in the UK i realized that there is another life out there, the life that i always wanted, it was my alternate reality that i loved so much, but i had already started my own reality back home, 8 years worth.I have been waiting for my bf to connect with me, to be able to support me in everyway esp emotionally but because i always presented this tough exterior he though i would be there for life. Its like i played catch with him always ahead and then always waiting.In the UK i met someone else, someone far my junior 6 years who was mature and strong and even though i fell for him i knew that there were deeper issues at stake, the mere fact that i fell for him should tell me there is a problem?I started to question my life in every aspect and i told my bf how i felt, i have always done that always told him how i felt about everything.Now i want to give it all up, i want to go back to the UK and study, at 29 i want to uproot all that i have planted and move on. Does this sound wrong, why do i feel the need to do this on my own, i have always had plan a, b and an exit plan, and now i want to go back to the uk to study, i have no idea where i will get the money from but this is what i want to do. Someone thing for me the first time, with no family in tow or no waiting for anyone to love me the way i want to be loved?It does not help that i feel like im going through my staturn return.But i want to know am i selfish for wanting to do this?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Dreamlover +, writes (12 June 2009):
Dreamlover is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks Gina
I feel so alone at this stage, its like im torn between my logical side and my heart. I never knew a person can feel such pain.
I know you right and i know its time, but finding the strength to actually make the change is so so hard. I need to dig deep for this one. I need to start believing in myself.
Thanks
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