A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys and girlsJust needed a bit of advice as I'm really confused! 2 months ago a new guy started working at my local cornershop, he only works weekend evening, after a few weekends, we'd have strong eye contact And smiled at each other and eventually he started up a convo...and then it slowly led to flirting.Whenever I go to the shop, he always pays me compliments, like tells me I look good in a certain outfit, He tells me I smell nice, he winks, and notices when I have done my hair different. The other day he was alone in the shop and I said to him that he looked bored to which he said he was, I told him that he should get someone to keep him company and he replied and said "but ur never around".So I then I said to him that he could always give me his number and I'll keep him company...he then turns around and said "I dunno" I totally wasn't expecting that because otherwise I would never have asked but now I just feel so stupid.I just don't understand why he said that, and now I have to face him at the weekend when I go shop, and I can't stop going cus it would be so obvious! I'm just really confused and don't know what to do! Do I act normal around him or just not pay him any attention?Any advice would be appreicated!
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male
reader, Cupid Boy  +, writes (28 June 2011):
 "Why didn't he jump at the chance to get my number?" Maybe because you didn't offer it. You suggested he give you HIS number, and he may not be used to doing it that way. I recall reading dating advice somewhere that said guys giving out their number was really not a good or effective strategy because girls don't see it as their job to call.
He may also be concerned about fraternizing with customers, and him actively giving out his number is different from simply being offered someone's number and politely accepting it. He is supposed to be working during business hours, not picking up dates.
Finally, do you know for a fact he is single? He may find flirting with you a fun way to pass the time at work but maybe that's all it is. After all, there is certainly no shortage of women, both single and married, who will flirt with guys, all while never intending for it to go anywhere.
You can still talk to him but dial it back a little and just keep it at the fun, flirty stage unless and until he decides to move past there.
A
female
reader, Fate100percent +, writes (28 June 2011):
Maybe he is not single?
You could always give him your number? Keep it light, you know, 'I like chatting to you, maybe (if you're single), we could go for a drink when you're not working, here's my number? Give me a call/text in the week if you fancy it?'
Then you only have the two options that A) He's already taken, or B) He's not interested. If he doesn't text/call?
Either way, you will know. (and there is nowt wrong with a girl offering her number and facing rejection) after all we expect guys to do it all the time hey!! lol
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2011): Don't feel embarrassed. The problem is at his end, sending out mixed signals like that.
Maybe he has a girlfriend and he is just a really big flirt, but is afraid to give out his number, cos if he has a girlfriend texting or phoning another girl is viewed as cheating by some.
OR
Maybe he is just out of a really bad relationship and does not want to get involved with women for awhile.
Keep going to your local shop, but be cool with him don't flirt cut back on that, and just be friendly. He might up his game and ask you for your number, but don't you mention it first.
If he does ask for your number ask him straight out has he got a girlfriend or is he seeing a girl, this straight question could avoid the heart break of finding out a few weeks down the line.
Other than that just play it cool like you are not bothered, but let him make the next move and if that doesn't happen take it that he is just not that into you.
Good Luck.x
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