A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Quick question - do the majority of guys look at porn when they are in a relationship, and if so, what drives them to do that, and what do they get from it? I'd really like to understand. I'm in a relationship with an awesome guy, been together 6 months, we have a great sexual chemistry and everything else is great between us. Found out today that he downloaded 3 porn movies two weeks ago...he asked me to save a document on to his laptop, gave me his password, and I saw the videos when I was saving the document...are there any men who don't look at porn???I understand men are visual creatures, like to watch porn, blah blah. But it kinda upset me and left me thinking why did he download it at that point in time...could it be a sign he's getting bored with me? The videos were all titled "psycho bitches from hell" and I'm wondering if this means I should be kinda more sexually assertive/aggressive or something? In his defence, he has been stressed out working long hours recently, and has some money worries, which I'm trying my best to be supportive about. I can see he downloaded the movies after work one night when he wasn't going to be seeing me. I'm wondering if it was just a quick, easy bit of light relief? I think I can trust him, he's never cheated on previous girlfriends, and I don't think this porn thing needs to be a big issue...I'd just like to understand it all.Anyway, I'd love to hear why men do this, what it means, and whether I should be concerned?Thanks :)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2011): when my partner starts wearing leather leiderhosen and posing with his arse stuck out for me, then perhaps I will reciprocate with some fancy poses for him!!!!!! The advice on here is always very one sided (the women having to please the men all the time)!!! We all have bad habits which we know we could give up if we needed to. Porn is a bad habit for men and invariably the men who watch it tend to be the creepy ones that eye you up, despite them being with their partner at the time!! They get porn spectacles!! I have cancer at the moment and with my bald head, one breast and chemo muffin belly, it's not a pretty sight. If my partner turned to porn right now, I would be absolutely devastated!!! I need all his support and unconditional love right now. He can wank to his hearts content if he wants to, as our sex life has taken a bit of a nose dive at the moment, but without the need for porn. Let him use his imagination!!!
A
male
reader, Cupid Boy  +, writes (19 March 2011):
 Don't think you'll find any one answer that applies to all guys. Some do watch out of sheer boredom. Others because they think they can learn sex tips and new moves from it. For many, it's just a way to get a quicker release through self-pleasuring (which guys seem to need more often given that they're making like 1,000 sperm EVERY SECOND). A small minority are genuine addicts. Finally, some don't watch it at all -- yes, it's true.If you want to know your bf's reasons, why not ask him? (Personally, I think the title and content of "Psycho Bitches From Hell" would be more disconcerting than the fact he is watching something rather than nothing.) Women often assume their partner must be downloading porn out of dissatisfaction with her and their sex life, but this is hardly ever the case. It has nothing to do with you, solo sex is just a different experience than sex with a partner because all you have to satisfy is yourself -- which means much less pressure on men to perform; hence it relieves stress whereas real sex can actually cause stress.Here's an interesting/funny posting on DC, answering the question "Why do men need porn?", which probably deserves a second look from everyone:A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2007):According to my husband, men don't need porn, they do like to look at women though. He said that he is visual and does like the curves of a woman, he cannot help that. My husband does not look at porn, he looks at me. I'm 44 years old and have children, but I keep myself in great shape and wear sexy outfits for him. I did a full photo session for my husband. I start with sexy panties and bra's, teddys, garters and babydolls, in many different positions (just like the porn stars), then I did a hotter collection in sexy poses where eventually I take it all off and do several poses nude. My husband stares at them a lot when he is on the road and can't be with me, and when he is gone for several weeks, he uses my porn collection to get his release. Ladies, understand that men have to release, especially when they are away from you. So accept that and just make sure that you are the object of his fantisy when he does relieve himself. My husband will look at my pictures, then he calls me and we have phone sex together, and he talks me through while I use a vibrator to get my release. Ladies, this is VERY HEALTHY FOR BOTH OF YOU! When he is travelling home, I'm always wearing something sexy underneath my regular clothes and describe it to him while he is on his way, so he is so worked up about wanting to see me that we have great sex the minute he walks in the door. Hey ladies, if you don't want your man looking at other women and fantisizing about them, get him TO LOOK AT YOU and to FANTICIZE ABOUT YOU! Believe me, it would be the best present you can give him. He does not have any guilt or worry that way, and you have fullfilled his need to look. My husband adores me. We are very devoted Christians, so I dress modestly and act discreet around other men, but I go wild for my husband in private. God said the marriage bed is pure, and a woman should entice her man and right down seduce him with her beauty. Am I right? My very happy, fullfilled husband thinks so.
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A
male
reader, PeterNorth  +, writes (19 March 2011):
Even though i'm single at the moment, but every GF I've had has known that i've had a large porn collection and they've been kewl with it and known that its just masterbating fun and that i love them. Every guy looks at porn and jacks off, some tell there partners and some keep it a secret from them. No need at all to be concerned about it, its just porn and wanking thats all.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2011): im a girl , i dont watch porn but i masterbate a lot and im in a relationship aswell ,dont think about it like that he just is relieving stress , have you ever done it?it feels good , the end
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