A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I'm a mature beautiful woman. I've met a man 14 years younger than me. We have been together for almost 2 years. I have had many relationships. He has not. He is the first man that I feel is my match, my love. He knows I would do anything for him. He cares for me the same. The problem is I have raised my kids and can't have any more. They are grown. He has never been married or has any children. He is handsome, great work ethics, smart and cares for me. I would be happy to spend the rest of my life with him. I'm starting to get age related issues that i don't want to burden him with. I notice when he looks at porn its really young girls barley legal that he looks at. He makes love to me only when I start it. I do so much to please him. Should I let him go so he can be with a younger woman?
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male
reader, Cupid Boy  +, writes (18 March 2011):
 If this is really true love, then why would you give that up? Don't listen to the skeptics or let your insecurities take over. There are some very long-lasting couples out there with even bigger age differences than yours. If he truly loves you, your age won't matter to him. I know it wouldn't matter to me. From your description, your relationship sounds almost ideal, possibly better than he could get from someone his own age. For all you know, he could die before you of cancer when he's 70 and you're 84.
You say he doesn't initiate sex, has it been like that from the beginning or was there a change? He may simply not be the kind to start anything, given his prior low self-esteem. Don't read too much into that, nor into the kind of girls he might watch on the computer. It doesn't mean you're not attractive to him, it may mean he's seeking variety to look at, whether that's right or wrong. He has you so why would he look at anonymous women that also look like you? Plus, the younger girls tend to dominate porn. You could always just ask him about this instead of assuming what he is thinking.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2011): The answer to what he sees in me is easy. He about gave up on relationships. His self esteem was low. I dont try to control him I encourage him. I dont pressure marriage. We live together, but I have my own place as well.He loves my cooking and I enjoy cooking for us.I look alot younger than my age and he is proud to have me by his side. I am the first woman he has taken to his parents house for holidays etc. and i am very willing to please him in bed.We dont argue, nor do we have any drama.The rare times we do disagree don't last long. So maybe i should not try to fix something that's not broken? But again ten years from now the age difference will be more obvious. Thanks for the input. I'm open to more from someone who has been in my situation. And yes he has told me he loves me It took him a year and a half to say it. I know he means it.
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A
female
reader, GeeGee255 +, writes (15 March 2011):
 I think you should let him go, as time goes on the age thing is going to become a bigger issue for the both of you. And I don't think you will feel as good about yourself or the relationship, when say he is only 50 and you are 64. Especially if he never gets to marry or have children.
But don't make this decision for him, he gets to have say too. And if he doesn't want to be set free then why make him go?
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A
female
reader, GeeGee255 +, writes (15 March 2011):
I think you should let him go, as time goes on the age thing is going to become a bigger issue. And I don't think you will feel as good about yourself or the relationship, when he is only 50 and you are 64. Especially if he never gets to marry or have children.
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A
male
reader, pool sea addict  +, writes (15 March 2011):
Wørd up Natasia...I think everything has been xplaind clearly, I'm particularly 4 da idea where u get 2 let go of the man, not 4him 2go n xplore yonger galz, bt 2 go n start up a family he cn call his own, n by da way, how old are you?
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A
female
reader, natasia  +, writes (15 March 2011):
 It's easy to see why you are with him - I understand. But why is he with you? I don't mean that to sound bad - please don't take it so - but you have explained your attraction to him - what does he see in it for him (and what do you?)?
I don't think the porn thing is particularly significant, but I do think the children thing is.
I am hot on children - I think everyone should have them (sorry those of you who don't) - and I think - and don't you think? - it would be very wrong to deny him that.
So: your question: should you let him go so he can be with a younger woman? No, you should let him go so he can be with a woman with whom he can have children. That sounds harsh, but that is life. I am sorry to say that, really.
Or, what ... he stays with you until you are no more ... and then he has children? It is one or the other.
In your situation, am not sure what I would do. I so love motherhood that I would do anything to have more. You say that you can't have any more ... but is that really the case?
Morally: not wrong to be with him, but possibly wrong to deny him fatherhood. My opinion. A thousand others will reply here that not, because it is the trend to pretend that children don't matter: but they do. If you had no children, would you be ok with that?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2011): I am in the same kind of situation just vice versa. My boyfriend is 23 which is 5 years older than me. I feel as if because im younger he thinks he can tell me what to do. I occasionally find him texting other girls as well and everyday i check his phone as i get a gut feeling, but he always deletes them. We nearly broke up over him and his texting problem. But we live together so it makes everything harder! And as for the issue of sex he is always the one that starts it not me and always hits me up about it, why he always has to start the sex and worries im not into him. But its not like that at all i just dont want sex 24/7. Maybe i am too young for him but i have always been into older men and we have been together for over a year now. So in away i know how you feel!
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A
female
reader, lush2010 +, writes (15 March 2011):
ive was with a man 8 years younger than me, i know what its like. eventually i didnt have to make the choice as he made it clear he wanted to be with girls his own age.
it depends on your relationship.. if he loves you , he'll stay regardless of age.
If you dont have that deep connection, he may end up look towards the younger women eventually.
when youre the older woman , its easy to feel like you need to work harder to keep the younger man. thats a pressure , that i personally didnt like dealing with because it made me feel insecure. But if you dont feel this way , there is no need to let him go.
some couples make this age gap work, if there is no real reason for you to let him go , for example , if he has not expressed the desire to date women his own age , then there is no need to let him go.
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