This other woman is overstepping the boundaries, what should I do?
Q. My husband and a very good married friend of our family, have a very close relationship. I have had an illness for about four years, i am not disabled, but have spent many months in the hospital away from our home town. Our friend is very agressive ...
A. 9 February 2011: How sad for her, this is really bad.. However, she still represents the same danger. I am sure that she has plenty of friends. past behaviour you still need to keep some distance. In order to trust her she needs to show you that she is worthy and ... (read in full...)
This other woman is overstepping the boundaries, what should I do?
Q. My husband and a very good married friend of our family, have a very close relationship. I have had an illness for about four years, i am not disabled, but have spent many months in the hospital away from our home town. Our friend is very agressive ...
A. 7 February 2011: Just do something, don't pontificate. Tell you husband that you want to get back to usual now that you are better so you don't want any visitors for a month or two until youi have got back to noraml at home.... (read in full...)
This other woman is overstepping the boundaries, what should I do?
Q. My husband and a very good married friend of our family, have a very close relationship. I have had an illness for about four years, i am not disabled, but have spent many months in the hospital away from our home town. Our friend is very agressive ...
A. 3 February 2011: You need your husband to respect your wishes here. I am sorry you have been unwell. You may not have been assertive enough so you need to tell her thanks for your help but I no longer need it so you can stop now.
This friendship has run its ... (read in full...)
He wants a break - has he got cold feet?
Q. Hi, my boyfriend of 8 years just asked for a break one week ago. He says he needs time to think about us and just concentrate on work. The request for a break came at a time where everything is ok in our relationship. Some backround on us,In the ...
A. 2 February 2011: I think you could take more of the upper hand here. He hasn't been allowed to feel the reality of possibly losing you because of the continuous contact. What I want to suggest is scary. For him to value you he needs to know that you are not... (read in full...)
Living together for over a year, and I STILL haven't met his kids!
Q. Over 12 months living together and still no sign of me meeting his kids (teenagers) despite us living with mine (also teenagers). I have asked twice to meet his kids. The first time after about 6 months and again recently. Each time the whole t...
A. 1 February 2011: This is possibly based on fear. Perhaps he thinks keeping his kids from you is best because then they can’t reject you or him. His biggest fear will be losing contact, and maybe, if they were very hurt, it seems easier for him (and them) this way. ... (read in full...)
Which one is better? To love or be loved?
Q. My bf is an egoist person. He always asks me to stay online 24 hours for him. And always said that i must reply his chats. If i late reply 1 or 2 mins, he will get angry. He never allows me to attend someone's call when i chat with him. While he...
A. 31 January 2011: You would be better off without that boyfriend. It is worrying that you have allowed him to control you. It may mean that you will look for similar things in the next boyriend as that is what you know. I am not sure why you are looking for ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants my hand in marriage, but he won't stop flirting with other girls!
Q. Okay, so I've been with this guy for about 2 years now, and I loved him for 2 years before that. We know that we are everything we want in each other and would like to get married. But, because of finances and age we can't. He has struggled with ...
A. 31 January 2011: Let him go and tell him he may look for you again in the future after he gets all this stuff out of his system. I had a boyfriend at your age who was the same but he really messed up. 30 years later he still regrets it. However, the urge to ... (read in full...)
Is cybersex with others considered cheating?
Q. I met a guy many years ago online and we started to have cybersex. It became very intense and eventually we fell in love. We spent many hours talking on phone, IM, email etc. We plan on getting married but due to some unforseen circumstance have not ...
A. 31 January 2011: Yes. Not only that but he seems to have a real problem. I think you may find this is as far as he connects with women - remotely. I also think that you may have a big problem too, which is you don't have a good set of boundaries to help you ... (read in full...)
Should I stop my boyfriend from travelling alone
Q. Hi, I'm not sure if anyone can help as this feels like a complex situation but i'm so lost with it i wanted to put it out there to see if anyone can advise! I'v been with my partner for just over 3 years and I feel in my heart he is the one, when...
A. 25 January 2011: At least he is being honest, but frankly, I wonder if he is trying to put you off. Anyone who would pay a woman, forced by social and economic circumstance to pretend that she wants sex with him is a weevil in the biscuit of life! Those women ar... (read in full...)
How can I move on from my husbands past relationship
Q. I was reading the article a couple of men wrote. I have that same type of issue with my husband. I cannot let go of the past. We have been married for a long time and he is my best friend. My problem is that I cannot stop thinking about him and his ...
A. 25 January 2011: I have had something similar. My husband was with me during his marriage break up although he had already left before we got together properly. His wife was cold to him for years and he found me again - we were first loves. Don't go comparing me ... (read in full...)
My friends are trying to convince me the age gap is a problem
Q. I'm 20 and my current boyfriend is 33, we've been together for 10 months or so. We met via work (we play pro badminton) and I used to play mixed doubles for a little while before we got together, which is where we initially got to know each other. (...
A. 7 January 2011: I don’t think it is a problem and it looks like a simple case of jealousy. Your friends may want you to act differently so they can have more of your time. It is unnerving to them. Don’t let it bother you, you seem very happy and the age gap is ... (read in full...)
How do I shave without leaving stubble?
Q. How do i shave my pubic area? My boyfriend has recently asked my to completely shave my vagina, but when i did it with a razor, it just turned stubbly so wasn't very attractive. How do i shave without leaving stuble for a more sexy look?...
A. 17 December 2010: Don't do anything that makes you uncomfortable. This trend has been brought about because of pornography. Ask him to shave his own parts as well and see what he says! When I say that don't take it too strongly as most people try these things out. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend watching nude pictures!!!
Q. I am in a committed relationship since 1 year and 5 months. its a ldr.recently i visited my bf.we had lots of fun and even sex. but during sex his p***s was not so erect.i don't know whats the reason behind it. after i came back i checked my bf's ...
A. 10 December 2010: By the way Aunt Honesty says that looking at rude pictures is normal at any stage of life for men but I do personally find it creepy when older men look at young girls when they have daughters the same age. As you can see it is all very personal ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend watching nude pictures!!!
Q. I am in a committed relationship since 1 year and 5 months. its a ldr.recently i visited my bf.we had lots of fun and even sex. but during sex his p***s was not so erect.i don't know whats the reason behind it. after i came back i checked my bf's ...
A. 10 December 2010: You have found something that upsets you and need to tell him that. Whether or not he responds is his decision but keep a firm hold on how you feel and don’t compromise once you have worked it out.
You are young and this is one of those mome... (read in full...)
Who is being unreasonable here? I just want my baby to be safe and for my ex to be contactable if I need to speak to him!
Q. Hey guys, really hoping for some advice over child access. Basically, my ex and I no longer together. He used to see our son (7 months) every other weekend for the whole weekend and one day in the week. I have never denied him access. However,...
A. 8 December 2010: You can only do so much. If he will talk to you maybe you should meet up and discuss how this can work out. I understand what you say although my husband and I did have our baby in the bed for 3 months because I was still feeding him. Nothing ... (read in full...)
Who is being unreasonable here? I just want my baby to be safe and for my ex to be contactable if I need to speak to him!
Q. Hey guys, really hoping for some advice over child access. Basically, my ex and I no longer together. He used to see our son (7 months) every other weekend for the whole weekend and one day in the week. I have never denied him access. However,...
A. 7 December 2010: This is all about trust and feeling, some of these will depend on why you split up and how people feel about it. That is why people react such as they do. Your baby’s grandparents are obviously upset about something. It may be anything at all ... (read in full...)
Just found out my wife is having an affair with an older man
Q. I am lost and don't know what to do. I have been married for 7 years and just found out that my wife is having an afair with a man who is 30 years her senior. She blames me, she tells me that it's because we do not have sex as much as she would ...
A. 25 November 2010: Every person I know (quite a few) has described the same thing to me when splitting up. My brother knew he was going to leave his wife but still chopped up all the logs for winter. My partner fixed the solar panel on his old house and spent all ... (read in full...)
Just found out my wife is having an affair with an older man
Q. I am lost and don't know what to do. I have been married for 7 years and just found out that my wife is having an afair with a man who is 30 years her senior. She blames me, she tells me that it's because we do not have sex as much as she would ...
A. 24 November 2010: Buy a book called "Love Must Be Tough" by James C Dobson. I am not kidding. It explains how your situation may have developed and what to do step by step to save your marriage and if it is saveable it will give you your best chance. One of the ... (read in full...)
Would a man run away from a girl like me?
Q. hi. im a girl who doesnt like having boy friends i am to much a free bird i usually have casual sex - no string relationship, and im a member of swingers club.. anyways theres this guy who i met and he is really really sweet i dont usually talk or ...
A. 24 November 2010: Don't tell him. You don't need to and it shows how swinging may seem innocent but brings pain when you meet someone you like because it waves a red flag over your trustworthiness if you tell. If you know he can trust you, leave it alone. If you ... (read in full...)
He said I have a wide vagina and now it is stopping me from enjoying sex!
Q. well.. i just met my bf 3 months ago.i became crazy about him.wanted him he has a great mind great body.he's complete for me.lately i had problems with my family and work because of him.everybody thinks he's a bad guy they want me away from ...
A. 24 November 2010: You haven't had a child so you haven't got a problem. He just took the chance to reduce your confidence and that is not good. We are all different and your poor body was put together the way it is so love it and perhaps think a bit less of him. ... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 24 November 2010: I had a battle with my partner over it all for a while. He was getting divorced when we met and had not had a satisfying sexual relationship with his wife for years. He over did the porn massively and it really upset me. I think he used it to ... (read in full...)
Ex wife is hanging onto my family!
Q. The facts: we were divorced a year ago after 3 years of separation and lots of good reasons to split. We have 2 boys, 23 and 19 years old, now out of the house (university and "exploring the world.) I met the love of my life 2 years ago, and am ...
A. 16 November 2010: I am in a similar situation and could be very jealous because my ex husband is marrying a younger, lovely looking girl. I know her faults though and am proud that I have two degrees, lots of brains and a unique sense of humour.
My ex and I and ... (read in full...)
How do I fix this drunken mistake?
Q. So here's what happened. I'm a 25 year old male. I have a long distance girlfriend who I love dearly. I've never met anyone quite like her, she's amazing, everything I want in a girl and I'm going to marry her when we can be together (we're away fro...
A. 16 November 2010: Use it as a way of admitting to yoursef how much she means to you. I am sure it won't happen again so I say forgive yourself and make sure she does not find out or tell her at some point. Up to you but some sleeping dogs are best left. What a ... (read in full...)
I'm way more pleased with myself than guilty!
Q. This morning i cheated on my fiance with someone I met online. I have been with my fiance for 8 years...my question is why don't i feel guilty? I try to make excuses like i did it for an ego boost because i have low self esteem or that it was nice ...
A. 16 November 2010: Time to be honest with yourself then. Would you like him to do this to you? Do you love him? Are you angry that he has not married you yet? Is being faithful important to you and does it matter to you that the person with you is faithful back? ... (read in full...)
What did having a threesome do to your relationship?
Q. Hi there. I am really interested to know if there is anyone on this site who has tried threesomes. I am not talking about trying for the first time or thinking about it - but am interested in hearing from people who can look back on the experience ...
A. 16 November 2010: Thank you all - I really appreciate your answers. I suspected this all along as I also have a friend who did it and it broke her and her man up. I think it is the truth and people who risk it risk a lot but get into feeling falsely secure about ... (read in full...)
Is there any way to get rid of this girl from our lives?
Q. My boyfriend of one and a half years and me were going fine until his ex-girlfriend emerged on the scene. They were in a relationship for eight long years and broke up two to three years ago due to family issues. She used to text him once in a blue ...
A. 11 November 2010: She is jealous and he feels guilty. He is the one that needs to release himself from this situation and I think you have been very clear. He must be the one to let her know that although he wishes her well he is with you now and is not prepared to ... (read in full...)
How can I speak to my dad about writing a will?
Q. My Dad is 75 and has not made a will. How can I speak to him about this? He goes all weazilly when I mention it, but I feel really sad. I know that if he dies without one not only will his kids be left broken hearted but we will have a hell of a ...
A. 8 November 2010: Well the main trouble is that he is a sculptor with a big reputation and international acclaim. What I am afraid will happen (I have been told this) is that even though he has not sold quite a lot of the collection we will still have to pay death ... (read in full...)
I need to find the courage to get out but I'm at a loss for what to do!
Q. We have been married for 11 years and have been together for 13. Things were fine until my husband got arrested for driving under the influence and I had to ask my mother for 2000.00 to get my vehicle out of hock. My mother got very angry at my ...
A. 8 November 2010: This is a real storm, which probably grew over years? He must be beholden to his mother in some way and trying to please her. I would say to him that if you are going to be together he must bat on your side and be completely firm on that – even if ... (read in full...)
Am I being taken for granted by the love of my Life after 13 years?
Q. This is my first time using this and this very complicated, so here goes. I will try and shorten my story up for readability. I really need some solid advice for this group because I feel like I am dying a little every day: Please don't disregard ...
A. 14 September 2010: You will lose nothing by telling her that you have decided to give her the space to think things through. She was obviously very alarmed to be discovered by her husband and perhaps that happening has made her think about what she could lose. Not ... (read in full...)
How can I stop going into a panic over every little thiing?
Q. I have lots of panic attacks about the littlest things. I really am not pleased with how I look and sometimes my boyfriend is kinda stuid and makes comments about my body or other girls body. I panic and shut down . Also, my boyfriend watches porn ...
A. 27 August 2010: Find yourself a boyriend who boosts you and isn't so interested in porn. Learn early to make good choices for yourself. You are too young to be trying to get him to change. He thinks he is entitled to do what he likes and that isn't good because ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend of 3.5years wants space, saying she has feelings for another bloke. What should I do?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm after some advice. So here it goes. My girlfriend and I have been together for just over 3.5 years. We have practically lived together for 1.5 years but have only in our own place for the past few months. Things have been goo...
A. 27 August 2010: By the way, to me she is being unfaithful. Her intentions are quite clear, she is seeing the other person. Sorry!... (read in full...)
Girlfriend of 3.5years wants space, saying she has feelings for another bloke. What should I do?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm after some advice. So here it goes. My girlfriend and I have been together for just over 3.5 years. We have practically lived together for 1.5 years but have only in our own place for the past few months. Things have been goo...
A. 27 August 2010: I think you have behaved fantastically well with her considering. There is only one ingredient missing; she is somehow under the mistaken impression that she has all the power and a free rein to choose what happens next. Does she? Have you heard... (read in full...)
Shocked by threesome suggestion!
Q. My Fiancé and I have been together for 2 ½ years and have a very happy and loving relationship. We have talked about threesomes before and came to an agreement that if were to have a bloke then he would choose who and when, and if it was female then ...
A. 26 August 2010: He was just being stupid. You have both discussed having a threesome and she became a possible target because of the way things happened and the pictures. This is a fantasy isn’t it? Or is it real? You said IF you have a threesome. Have you ... (read in full...)
My wife recently gave birth to twins but it's driving me crazy that all I can think of is this other woman!
Q. Hi everyone I have a really big problem I just can't handle anymore. 5 years ago I got married to a woman, my first and only girlfriend I ever had. I really love her and always have. However about 3 years ago I met a woman I was wildly attra...
A. 20 August 2010: Go to counselling with your wife and give her the chance to help you decide as a couple what is best in both your interests. The truth needs airing.
If you don't address what is wrong in your marriage your kids may end up without a father anyw... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 20 August 2010: THe only other thing I wonder about...is how men would feel if it were the other way around. Are there any men out there who had girlfriends who were heavily into porn and did it make them feel insecure; not well enough endowed etc?
Once I told... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 19 August 2010: I think the previous answer is very good. I caught my partner doing this in secret and it almost destroyed our relationship. Since he stopped the quality of our sex life has got better and we are very adventurous about fantasies. I don’t mind ... (read in full...)
Am I being paranoid or is this really happening all over again?
Q. I just on here for moral support really, 3 years ago just before I became forty I found out my husband had been cheating with someone he new had tried to befriend me. For months I knew he was having an affair but just didnt know who with. Anyway to ...
A. 19 August 2010: In order to gain your trust needed to show respect after last time. There is no way that a truly sorry man would expose your relationship to risk again as he is doing. Of course he knows that any form of contact with her is a betrayal after what ... (read in full...)
I love him and want to wait but the lack of communication is making me crazy!
Q. So confused. Plz help. I met my bf 6mnths ago online. He works away and I only see him every 5 wks. When we see each other it is wonderful and very happy, he then goes and we basically just text msg lots every day. When I actually speak to him I ...
A. 17 August 2010: You run the risk of scaring him off for good unless you stop chasing him away. Men like women who are sorted, confident. self sufficient. Not women who seem to need them too much. I promise you that if you stop texting and pushing it is much more ... (read in full...)
I had an abortion over 2 months ago and its killing me!!!
Q. Hey, i made the silly mistake of having unprotected sex with my boyfriend and as a result became pregnant. I never found out i was pregnant until i was over 7 weeks gone like the feeling sick and tiredness etc. I had missed my period so decided to ...
A. 30 July 2010: I did that and I know how you feel, especially after I did actually have a baby because I wondered what the other would have looked like. This is a choice that society gives us, along with a load of others, but we don't get the advice we need ... (read in full...)
How can I get him to see how nasty he is when depressed?
Q. Mod note: OP'S own title: My partner gets very down and can be very nasty about simple things. I mentioned that I would like to take my son, 12, camping for a couple of nights. He started telling us off and saying how ridiculous this was and how ...
A. 30 July 2010: Our relationship has spanned 5 years and I have been through heavy times with him such as his divorce when he was suicidal. I am going to get my son helping more and I am also going to ask him to be specific about what success in this situation ... (read in full...)
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