A
female
age
41-50,
*rinityj696
writes:Hi, I'm not sure if anyone can help as this feels like a complex situation but i'm so lost with it i wanted to put it out there to see if anyone can advise!I'v been with my partner for just over 3 years and I feel in my heart he is the one, when we first meet we loved each other so much, I know no-one else will ever compare. However, we are both on a 'spiritual' journey and this comes with many difficulties, there are consent personal issues coming up between us and we have split up and got back together so many times it has broken us!Last time we split up it was for 6 weeks and since we got back together he hasn't been the same, he is very honest and has told me he doesn't feel the same but is hoping it will grow after time.I feel I'm on a scoring system and in order for his love to grow towards me I have to make him happy or just not have any complaints.The latest problem is we both have plans to travel but he is saying he wants to go alone and when his gone doesn't want any limitations and so if there's a situation where he is approached by whores in Thai land he doesn't want to be limited from experiencing that!I'm heart broken at the idea he wants to sleep with other people but his saying travelling for 2 years he dont want to be limited. I said that i would also sleep with people when im travelling and apart of me wonders if it would be really liberating and a good experience to just let go of the jealousy!?There is such a lack of who we used to be and Iv been trying to make it work and get it back but I just feel so heart broken and confused if this can be good for my journey to keep letting go of all my expectations or is this just plain old fashioned wrong?We have both said it would be ideal if we'd of met later in life when we have got the travelling out of our system, but I cant let him go thinking in years to come we can start a fresh, I feel lost with out him and feel i might not get him back.Right now this sucks big time and I'm so confused and unable to know what to do, its like I cant trust my own judgement on it as my head and heart are having a right old battle.Anyone??? :(
View related questions:
got back together, jealous, my ex, split up Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Catflap1 +, writes (25 January 2011):
At least he is being honest, but frankly, I wonder if he is trying to put you off. Anyone who would pay a woman, forced by social and economic circumstance to pretend that she wants sex with him is a weevil in the biscuit of life! Those women are basically slaves to supply and demand and sacrifice their souls to it as well as any future potential. They can be groomed or forced into it but the price is the same. Anyone who says it is free will is a liar, there is no way they would do it if they didn't get chanelled into it. That would be enough to make me run for the hills - aarrrggghhhh! On a spritual journey? Caring for those in weaker circumstances than himself - baloney. Having holiday romances would be one thing but that buying a woman's body idea is ....can't use the words I want.I know this sounds horrible but he may have said that to give you the squirms. Let him go and tell him he is free to go on his journey but you are going on one too and some aspects of his values are not compatible with yours so perhaps it is best to be honest and split. There may be someone else out there for you after all. I bet he looks interested if even for a second. It is psychology.If there is any chance whatsoever of rebuidling some kind of trust and relationship at a later date it will only happen if you make a clean break now. Maybe he is trying to shock you because he doesn't know what this trip will mean to him and he wants to be free to experience it. If you are needy in the slightest it will work out the worst. It takes a lot of guts to be strong on your own behalf and lots of us are not good at it including me. You may not be interested in him anyway soon when all of this has sunk in. He is very young, you are more mature. He obviously doesn't want to settle down so if you don't let him go free you will lose him. If you do you might get him back - if he is good enough for you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2011): ok, first thing..I was in Thailanda with my husband last year..there are a lot of young girls working at the streets, at the bars, at the hotel,,everywhere...and yes, they are running behind the white guys...don't forget this: "no money, no honey" ...and it is not about Thailand,,because if you are traveling, you will find more interesting things to do that have sex with a whore...you are going to explore new culture and a new world..sex tourist is everywhere, america, asia, europe... don't forget that, it's depends what are you looking for.
Confront your bf and ask him if he wants to travel in Thailand because the sex entertainment is veeery cheap and that's why he wants to go alone. (because he wants to have this experience and I am pretty sure every single man on the earth want it)
I understand you because when I was there, my husband told me he was there with a male friends before he met me and he said is a completely different history...you can just search at the internet and you will find a lot of information...and I was there and I know what he was saying.
Anyway if you trust on him and you have "open mind" leave him go alone, but I think he is being very honest with you when he said he doesn't want any limitation...that's mean a lot. And he is right, he is going to do what he wants and he is sincere with you.
...............................
|
