If your partner had chronic health problems, how would it affect your feelings for them? Scared for the future...
Q. I need some emotional support... It's a health issue. I am 52 years old with the back of a 72 year old woman. I found out yesterday that I have 3 compressed discs in my spine and two bulging discs (different from the compressed one...
A. 2 March 2012: I recently had a discussion about the effects of long-term chronic health issues on a relationship with someone 12 years younger & in pursuit of my heart. I've feared that I would never find someone who would understand and accept that about me, ... (read in full...)
No intimacy during pregnancy or after birth. It's been 11 months, will her feelings for me ever come back?
Q. Hi Aunts, So my wife and i recently had our first child who is now three months old. We stopped having sex of any kind two months into the pregnancy so it has been essentially 11 months since we have had sex. There was one instance where s...
A. 2 March 2012: You're dealing with potentially several issues here. Could be post-partum depression. Depression of any kind will suck the life & desire out of anyone. That & wildly fluctuating hormones. She's also probably stressed & just plain tired. You may want ... (read in full...)
He's more into me than I am into him
Q. hey... so... i met this guy about a month ago, and he's super sweet... the kind of guy that would make any teenage girl feel like the luckiest girl in the world! he's sweet, sensitive, he brought me flowers on our third date, introduced me to...
A. 29 February 2012: Oh wow! I'm in the exact same position. I'm trying to decide if I really just don't feel the same for the new guy or if it's just too early to jump into a new relationship. The ex was a disaster and I invested everything in that relationship. ... (read in full...)
Am I just a way to pass the time when he is bored?
Q. Okay, well there is this guy and we met through school.(He now goes to a different school) When the summer holidays came round, was when we got talking, we met once that holiday too. We flirt and have a great time when we talk to eachother. But I ...
A. 28 February 2012: Just say you're busy and you're not sure when you'll be available to get back to him. Do that enough times & he'll get the point. I totally understand not wanting to come off as rude, but really, it's self-preservation. And how about his behavior? ... (read in full...)
I'm so angry after breakup with boyfriend and I'm worried about how its making me act/feel
Q. My now ex boyfriend and I broke up because he was a compulsive liar.he had lots of warnings but inm the end he just couldn't change so I ended it. The problem I now have is my anger, I am furious with him for everything he put me through! For not ...
A. 26 February 2012: My therapist (who is working me through a devestating breakup) has said that anger isn't the issue. It's the hurt & resentment at the realization of how you were treated. You're allowed to feel all those things. Channel them into productive activity ... (read in full...)
Do I wait for someone who fulfills my complex needs or do I settle for kindness?
Q. So I'm wondering if this is the problem: My ex was a true dominant male. I loved the feeling of the power he had over me, physically and mentally. He was simply amazing in bed. But in the end he just didn't want me like I wanted him. The new g...
A. 25 February 2012: That's the biggest problem. I'm more damaged than I ever realized. I'm in therapy & trying to regain that perspective. I don't know how it ever got so warped. And I know full well what an evil narcisscist the ex was. There's NO going back to that ... (read in full...)
If after a date the guy hasn't contacted you for five days, but you know it went really well and that they liked you, would it be desperate for the girl to contact them?
Q. If after a date the guy hasn't contacted you for five days, but you know it went really well and that they liked you. Would it be desperate for the girl to contact them? Because I went on a date with this guy, it went really well just everything ...
A. 25 February 2012: Just adding my two cents. I wouldn't even waste the half a calorie it would burn to text this guy. As has already been wisely said, in most cases where the guy is seriously interested, HE will pursue you. If (as has also already been said-just ... (read in full...)
Am I just a way to pass the time when he is bored?
Q. Okay, well there is this guy and we met through school.(He now goes to a different school) When the summer holidays came round, was when we got talking, we met once that holiday too. We flirt and have a great time when we talk to eachother. But I ...
A. 25 February 2012: I would say a resounding YES! You fill his bored & lonely void during the times HE wants to communicate with you. But he doesn't do anything for you. I just dumped a jerk like that. We are not here for their pleasure or whimsy. If he's serious, ... (read in full...)
I know I love my boyfriend more than he loves me!
Q. I need some help guys. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost two years now. I love him to death. But I'm pretty darn sure that I love him more than he loves me. He tells me he loves me, and I believe him. But it's not the SAME. I know ...
A. 25 February 2012: I loved my ex like you love your BF. A one-way relationship is no relationship at all. For all the "good" moments you might have together, the disconnect is too great. You fill the time for him. When we were together it was amazing. When we were ... (read in full...)
Why does my ex say things like this??
Q. My ex confuses me at most times. Lately he always says how he misses me etc. Me and him are friends now, and we talk often. However, I haven't bothered lately because I've been extremely busy. So he always says how he misses me but I don't really ...
A. 19 February 2012: Because he's a selfish, noncommittal, attention-whore who wants what he can't have. There are so many guys who seem to do this (I'm sure girls, too). But like you said, he says he doesn't have a GF but then says he's "joking"? How pathological is ... (read in full...)
If my gf is pregnant, she says she does not want to keep the baby but is afraid of the guilt of an abortion. What can we do?
Q. I've got a real dilemma here. Me and my girlfriend have been together for less than 2 months. About 3 weeks into our relationship we started having sex. We used protection each time. Anyway, her period was supposed to begin at one point during the...
A. 19 February 2012: Very difficult situation. First, like you said, don't jump to conclusions because she may just be late. But it doesn't hurt to have everything checked out. If she is pregnant you have so many options. It wouldn't be easy, but you can always give the ... (read in full...)
Complicated situation I got myself in! Two guys now - but which or how do I pick?
Q. I am 33yrs old. My boyfriend is 20yrs old. When we first met, he thought I was younger (I look 23) and I thought he was older. When I found out his age I told him he was too young. But he was convinced I was "The One" and he followed me all over the ...
A. 19 February 2012: You're asking all the right questions. This really is a decision YOU have to make. It sounds like you really have the best of both worlds. Youth has it's issues, but most of those can be overcome. Are you patient enough to wait for him to be ready ... (read in full...)
Is it fair to say someone never loved you just because they hurt u
Q. Is it fair to say someone never loved you just because they hurt u. I have recently come out of a two year relationship where I thought we loved each other. I am now questioning if he cared for me at all. Looking back over his past behaviour I can ...
A. 18 February 2012: Sadly, it could be either. I was in a similar situation until recently. I believe he loved me in some way, but not like I needed or wanted or expected from a romantic relationship. It was more a relationship to fill the bored lonely void he had. ... (read in full...)
How do I make him care?
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 19 months and we've had our share of ups and downs. Recently, we have been in a spot where it's not really good nor bad. I'm crazy in love with him and he generally makes me really happy. But the other half ...
A. 17 February 2012: Oh, & mine "cycled" too! We'd "talk". I'd tell him what bothered me or what I needed from him. It'd be good for a few days & then he'd neglect me all over. This happened month after month. Set a time frame & watch the pattern (although I'm willing ... (read in full...)
How do I make him care?
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 19 months and we've had our share of ups and downs. Recently, we have been in a spot where it's not really good nor bad. I'm crazy in love with him and he generally makes me really happy. But the other half ...
A. 17 February 2012: I'm TELLING you..,LISTEN to that internal dialogue in your "idle" moments! I'm not even kidding when I say I could have typed that myself. Go look my previously posted questions & you'll see what I mean. I know you love him. I know you want him. But ... (read in full...)
Problems at home were affecting me, when I made a comment that hurt another. How do I now rebuild their trust in me?
Q. There is a group of girls who are my type, but they all hate me because of something that I said to someone: I told someone that I didn't like them when I was going out with them, then all of her friends in that group hated me. I think they lik...
A. 15 February 2012: At this point, you might just let it alone. If you encounter any of them, just be kind. They will see if you've really changed by your actions. And again, if they don't, then just wait. High school does end eventually & you'll have a chance for a ... (read in full...)
B/f and I broke up and my family is talking about it behind my back
Q. my boyfriend and i broke up three weeks ago and i decided to accept reality.however as away of getting over the situation i decided to talk to my mum about it.After a short while i have come to realise that my mum told some relatives and these ...
A. 15 February 2012: It's terrible to have to go through the hurt of a breakup to begin with. On one hand, your family can surmise all they want but it's none of their business who you decide to get involved with. However, they're probably just more concerned about ... (read in full...)
Problems at home were affecting me, when I made a comment that hurt another. How do I now rebuild their trust in me?
Q. There is a group of girls who are my type, but they all hate me because of something that I said to someone: I told someone that I didn't like them when I was going out with them, then all of her friends in that group hated me. I think they lik...
A. 15 February 2012: The best thing to do is sincerely apologize to that person, first one on one. Explain the situation. Everyone has a bad moment where they are under stress from something else and take it out on other people. Try to be more mindful and careful ... (read in full...)
I have a student who says she loves me and will wait for me. What do I do?
Q. If I tell you our whole story, it may help you to find more helpful advances on our issue! I’m a teacher at an adult’s language school and I have been teaching here for more than two years now! Two years ago, when I was 26, I started to work in ...
A. 15 February 2012: What a romance story. You have a lot to address, one thing at a time. First, unless it is a mandatory thing in your country (and I doubt it is), don't allow your mother to pressure you into any relationship. You don't want to end up in one just ... (read in full...)
How can I improve things at home? I'm lonely. My spouse has ED issues and will not talk to me
Q. My husband doesnt talk to me. he sits in front of the TV all evening and only wants to eat. if i talk to him he says he is missing his program. but his programs go on all night. he even comes to bed and watches in the room. he cant get a erection...
A. 15 February 2012: It sounds like he might be depressed. Is he under any obvious stress, like at work or an extended family issue? Sometimes when people are in a hole like that, it's difficult for them to see that they need help. Maybe try writing him a letter and ... (read in full...)
Ex says I don't deserve her. Should I fight for her or move on?
Q. My ex and I broke up last month. Less than a week later she tells me she's seeing someone new. I have had time to work on myself and want to give it another shot with her. However, she doesn't. Today she told me she still loves me but can't let ...
A. 15 February 2012: Please leave her alone. You had your chance. If she's said all those things, then you blew it and no, she will never allow you to come near her fragile heart again. Once trust is broken, no matter how and no matter how much she might even still ... (read in full...)
Are these actions totally fine or are they a little inappropriate?
Q. I'm not sure what to think about some of my bf's interactions with women/female friends. First of all I want to say that I'm not an overly jealous person but I'm very perceptive. My bf is a very outgoing and chatty person. He's the kind of guy who ...
A. 15 February 2012: Honestly, I was with someone much like that. They like the attention of others. And I'm still struggling with when it's ok to look at or flirt with other people and when it's not. If he's not making you feel secure about his feelings for you ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doesn't try in the relationship yet he wants me to move in, should I?
Q. I need an outside opinion badly cause this issue is never going to get resolved! I've been with my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years and the last 7 months have been downhill. I found sexual emails (to another man) which he dismisses, he's lied to me about...
A. 15 February 2012: Unfortunately, I think you've answered you own question. The only major problem is if there is money involved from your end on this condo, issue. If there isn't, I think he's given you enough signs that you need to move on. Do you want to be with ... (read in full...)
I lost my fiance because of online dating sites! Why do I do this to myself and how do I get out of this hole I've dug for myself?
Q. I have been on and off dating sites now for over 4 years. almost 2 years ago my fiance walked out on me after catching me on them again after giving me several chances. Since that, I have met guys off the sites but nothing ever came of them, I was ...
A. 15 February 2012: Just going to reiterate what everyone else has already said. You need to get off the computer, get out in the real world, and get some counseling help. You will not get beyond this without doing all three of these things. The problem is, you ... (read in full...)
Working so hard during term time means I always get ill during the holidays! How do I stop this?
Q. I'm at college and need some advice. I work really hard all year to try and get the best grades that I can. At the moment I am working at grades A and B however whenever the holidays come around I always get ill. I usually stay behind at college ...
A. 15 February 2012: You really can't. The problem is you've stressed yourself out and lived at one extreme level for so very long that the moment you let your guard down to relax you get nailed with bugs. It's common and yes, frustrating. Take lots of vitamins (C is ... (read in full...)
How can I tell if he is cheating? What should I look out for?
Q. Hi I think my fiance Is cheating on me wth his colleague,he's always sending her messages claiming to me that it work related.so I would like to know what to look out for,how can I be sure that he's cheating,I want to know the signs becouse he once ...
A. 15 February 2012: If you don't know him well enough already prior to marriage and you have these kinds of suspicions, reservations and do not trust him, then I would reconsider this marriage. A marriage will only survive on strong trust. Unfortunately, some people ... (read in full...)
He flirts with me when he's drunk. Is that why he visited me, at 6am? How can I interest him more?
Q. Hi! I have a bit of a problem regarding a guy I think I like. Sometimes I sure, but then I think about our many differences and wonder if it would really work, and if I really like him or not. I guess I'm also a bit scared to open up to ...
A. 15 February 2012: Alcohol makes for interesting insights...it works as a "truth serum" on some and a brings out the "romantic" in others (not even mentioning the one's it makes angry, stupid or abusive). Nervous tension when talking sober may be enough of an ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't anyone ever like me?
Q. Okay so valentines this year has me thinking. I never had a boyfriend ever. The guys I always like never like me they always see me as their bestfriend. I am a smart girl, I'm chubby but I look good, I sing,have a nice personality,nice style I'm ...
A. 15 February 2012: Just an extra word of encouragement: My first date I was 23. My first boyfriend and first kiss I was 35 (yes, you're reading that right!). Everyone's always said "you're so cute & pretty & funny & smart & talented & blahblahblah..." And it still ... (read in full...)
B/f hasn't mentioned anything about Valentine's day, is this a sign?
Q. so its Valentines day... and neither me nor my bf has mentioned anything about it yet. kinda wondering if I should bring it up... cuz I know im going to be hurt if he doesnt do anything, doesnt matter to me if he buys somthing... just say somethi...
A. 15 February 2012: Three things: 1. How long have you been together? If not long, don't worry too much. 2. Don't ever hold back or NOT say something when it comes to things like this. If you want to express your thoughts or emotions, by all means, don't wait for him ... (read in full...)
How do I be fair to my new guy? And get over my ex, but not lead-on the new guy.
Q. I'm nowhere near ready to date again. I'm still mourning the loss of this relationship (7 weeks of panic attacks and seperation anxiety--yes, I'm getting clinical help). Last Wednesday someone came back into my life out of the blue after a year of ...
A. 14 February 2012: Well, I flat out told the "new guy" EVERYthing. I said if after knowing all of this he wanted to run I understood. He replied that he wants to stick around because he knows I'll get over my ex eventually & that I'm "worth the wait"! I am truly ... (read in full...)
It's complicated, but she doesn't want to put in the effort. I really do care for her!
Q. I have an issue. I am complicated with a girl that I've since highschool. We have gone out our senior year for a year into our freshman year of college (which was long distance) until complications got in the way. After our breakup, for about a...
A. 14 February 2012: Yes, it is good to hear similar stories & to share each other's burdens. We all have that lonely void we want to fill, & yes, it's even more difficult when you truly don't want to lose even the friendship. But if there are feelings greater than that ... (read in full...)
Is it enough? He's only tell me that he 'likes me enough'
Q. What does it mean when the guy I've been dating for 7 months can't tell me how much he likes me, but only says "I like you enough"?...
A. 13 February 2012: "Enough"?! Wow. Just what every girl wants to hear, "I like you enough"--He might as well have said, "I could take you or leave you" or "You occupy my time for the moment." I have to agree with everyone else. You fill some lonely void in his ... (read in full...)
I'm 14 and have a major crush on a guy. Should I make the first move?
Q. Okay, I feel like I'm in love with a guy i have barely talked to before. I just see him in passing every once in a while, but all i can do is think about him. I'm just so scared to make a move. What should I do?...
A. 13 February 2012: Life is short. Chances are worth taking. I asked a lot of guys out, tried to start things--it didn't quite work out, but I was stronger for taking the initiative. However, I'll play devil's advocate and say that I've also found that a guy that ... (read in full...)
It's complicated, but she doesn't want to put in the effort. I really do care for her!
Q. I have an issue. I am complicated with a girl that I've since highschool. We have gone out our senior year for a year into our freshman year of college (which was long distance) until complications got in the way. After our breakup, for about a...
A. 13 February 2012: Oy. Didn't mean to be blunt, but sometimes it's what's needed. Your situation just sounded entirely like mine but from the wrong end. The entire time we were together he always said if anything ever happened he could never bear to lose me as a ... (read in full...)
How do I make him care?
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 19 months and we've had our share of ups and downs. Recently, we have been in a spot where it's not really good nor bad. I'm crazy in love with him and he generally makes me really happy. But the other half ...
A. 13 February 2012: Oh my. I'm hearing my own voice in your questions. I've asked the same things over & over. I brought all these things to me BF's attention, over & over, rationally, nonaccusing, as kind & easy-going as possible. When that didn't work, it was tears & ... (read in full...)
Why am I not enough for him? Why is he active again on those dating sites?
Q. Hello, I need some advice and I hope you can help me. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years now. We've had our ups and downs, but for the most part (at least in my mind) it's been good. I've enjoyed spending time with him and he'...
A. 13 February 2012: Just dropped mine after 15 months. He preferred his online social flirting and dating SIMS (not even real people) to the flesh & blood who was before him & loved him & gave him lots of attention. Some people (guys & girls) will always need the ... (read in full...)
What do you think of older adult virgins?
Q. I have to admit I am a little over 40 and still an adult virgin. I am a little naive and socially awkward guy but I believe that being a virgin for so long, that I probably have shot myself in the foot, figuratively dating wise with any future ...
A. 13 February 2012: I hope you find someone who suits you-who makes you feel comfortable and is understanding of your situation. I was in the same place til 35. Yeah, we're the minority, but there are more like us & there are people who understand us. And it never ... (read in full...)
Is my ex jealous that I have met someone else?
Q. Is my ex boyfriend jealous that i have met someone else?. The guy i am currently dating is a lot older than me, but me ex is a bit younger than me. My ex sent me a text message saying " The old dirty b*****d can have you. I wash my hands of you ", ...
A. 13 February 2012: If your ex sent you that nasty of a message when you're grinding trying to move on with someone who respects you, I wouldn't even give him the courtesy of a response. What a jerk. I totally understand that you still have feelings for your ex (you ... (read in full...)
My sister-in-law is a cougar and I think it's unwise
Q. My sister-in-law is a 43 year old single mom to an autistic son. He is now 15 years old. Now that he is getting older she is getting back into the dating scene. She has been divorced for more than 10 years now. Good for her, I think. The p...
A. 12 February 2012: I'm 37 & have been with someone who is 24. He was too young & selfish & although the good times were really good (what we all hope for & hold to), he didn't appreciate what he had & disrespected me & the relationship. However, I know of 2 guys (24 & ... (read in full...)
How do I let him go, when I'm not even sure that I can?
Q. Hello again aunts and uncles. Title speaks for itself really! How do you let someone go from your life, when you genuinely don't think you can do it?? I know what people will say as i have commented on many posts just like this, "keep yourself b...
A. 12 February 2012: You can. You will. I left mine January 2nd. I know the whole "hobby" thing is always mentioned, but there's truth to it, and there are things you can do that aren't very expensive. Get some books on different kinds of arts and crafts--even the ... (read in full...)
It's complicated, but she doesn't want to put in the effort. I really do care for her!
Q. I have an issue. I am complicated with a girl that I've since highschool. We have gone out our senior year for a year into our freshman year of college (which was long distance) until complications got in the way. After our breakup, for about a...
A. 11 February 2012: "She's worth being in my life", "...it's about having my bestfriend there for me whenever", "But to me it is more than just the emotional attachment, I want that attention from her as my bestfriend. She makes the relationship seem very one ... (read in full...)
It's complicated, but she doesn't want to put in the effort. I really do care for her!
Q. I have an issue. I am complicated with a girl that I've since highschool. We have gone out our senior year for a year into our freshman year of college (which was long distance) until complications got in the way. After our breakup, for about a...
A. 11 February 2012: Sorry, but no. It's not healthy, at least obviously not for her. She loves you in a very particular way. To have your affection as a friend is probably crushing her. I tried to be friends with my ex because he still wanted me in his life in that ... (read in full...)
| *ardia's friends
These are mutual friends, so *ardia has
added them and they have added *ardia!
|
