A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi! I have a bit of a problem regarding a guy I think I like. Sometimes I sure, but then I think about our many differences and wonder if it would really work, and if I really like him or not. I guess I'm also a bit scared to open up to people..maybe that's part of the problem.I think about him all the time, day in and day out...I even dream about him occationally. In the classroom and elsewhere, he is the one I'm always looking for, sometimes even without realizing it, I listen more carefully when he speaks and get awfully dissapointed when he is not around. I guess this should mean that I like him, but I'm still not sure.And besides, I can't figure him out either. When we talk it's usually a bit tense and awkward, like none of us can find something to say. It's not like that with anyone else, and it seems like he too can speak to anyone but me. Usually the only time he shows me some attention is when we're alone, or when he's a bit drunk. When he is he flirts, foot flirts, put hes arm around my shoulders, plays with my hair and things like that.A few days ago there was this party in the neighborhood, and I didn't feel like going even though I knew he would be there. I stayed home and fell asleep, but at six in the morning he sent me a text asking if he could come over. I said yes, and he came. We just talked for a while, until he fell asleep at my couch. What does all this mean? Was it because he was drunk or is there something else to it?I need help! Sorry about the long letter.
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female
reader, bardia  +, writes (15 February 2012):
 Alcohol makes for interesting insights...it works as a "truth serum" on some and a brings out the "romantic" in others (not even mentioning the one's it makes angry, stupid or abusive). Nervous tension when talking sober may be enough of an indicator that he IS interested. But be careful around the alcohol--weird things happen and feelings are usually well out of proportion when under the influence...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2012): Remember OP we're different people when drunk. If the only time he ever tries to be romantic with you is when he's drunk even if you started dating him then that's not good enough, it's unacceptable for the simple fact that you really don't want to get in a relationship fuelled solely by alcohol.
Even if he is shy and likes you, if he needs always needs to alcohol to do things for you and with you then don't stick around.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2012): The only person who can tell you that is him OP so why not ask him?
It could be a lot of different things you see. The first and most optimistic view is that he likes you but he's shy and only has the courage to show that when he's drunk. The second more pessimistic view is that he's not really interested in you at all and only likes you when he's drunk and horny.
Signs are kind of leaning towards the first one though but don't discount the latter either. Awkwardness when talking sounds like he's trying not to slip up but it could also mean he's embarrassed about being flirty when drunk because he's not really interested in you, the fact he called over after the party and didn't try and maul you or push you for sex is a sign he probably wanted to just spend time with you, although he could have just been so drunk and tired at that time that he fell asleep before he could try.
The only way you're going to resolve this is if you talk to him and maybe ask him out. Go on a date sober and see what happens. This will work in both circumstances. If he does actually like you and not just when he's drunk then he'll appreciate knowing that you like him too and that would go a long way to getting rid of his nerves and helping him relax around you. If he only likes you when drunk then he'll try and involve drinking in any dates or he may just flat out reject you.
One thing is for sure though OP, unless you like playing games and unless you want to end up really liking this guy only to find out that he's only interested when drunk, then you need to do something about this and do it soon. Don't risk being led on and being hurt just because you'd rather sit back and see what happens. Your feelings won't play ball with that idea, they never do. You have nothing to lose by trying.
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