A
female
age
36-40,
*ubblygirl
writes:I need an outside opinion badly cause this issue is never going to get resolved!I've been with my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years and the last 7 months have been downhill. I found sexual emails (to another man) which he dismisses, he's lied to me about where he goes sometimes and he got a girls number at a bar 2 months ago. He's steadily been putting in less effort. All the while, I've been faithful, patient and trying to work on my trust issue with him.The problem is that right before all these problems, we got a condo together. Since everything went down, I haven't moved in, waiting for him to show me he cares and that none of this will happen again. He gets angry at me daily for not living there and yesterday, Valentines Day, he gave me an ultimatum saying "either move in or we break up", on top of an already horrible valentines day cause he doesnt try. I said I need to see effort and love before I relocate my life. Is this fair or what should I do?
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (15 February 2012):
 I vote that you take his ultimatum seriously... and move out!!!! That immature and controlling idjit isn't worth it!!!!
Good luck....
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (15 February 2012):
 if he's not trying and you've told him this already and you have no trust with him... then you know what to do
have him buy you out of the condo... (get a lawyer)
and get on with your life.
you don't trust him
once trust is broken it's nearly impossible to fix.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2012): Seek Lawyers advice on a the first 1/2 is free in regards to condo and paying for condo. Or even consult Student Legal Aid. Know your rights about buying a condo with him.I think you were told his before in a previous post.Your BF is not trustworthy and appears to be bisexual and a sex addict. You can't trust ANY ADDICT because they lie about their addictions and themselves and even to themselves.He has to get counselling if he wants to remain with you as you KNOW you DESERVE an HONEST, FAITHFUL, MONOGAMOUS man that will honour, cherish, love you and put you first above all others. Current BFs state is not that man.Know that if he rejects counselling for himself and couples counselling- there can be no real change and no real improvement and therefore, no real intent of him changing for the good.If he refuses, accept it is over.You are right in your expectations. STand firm and true to yourself and you will one day find that man that sees what you are asking and hoping for and he will KNOW, he is more than capable of being that man and will LIVE that for you and for himself.
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A
female
reader, bardia +, writes (15 February 2012):
 Unfortunately, I think you've answered you own question. The only major problem is if there is money involved from your end on this condo, issue. If there isn't, I think he's given you enough signs that you need to move on. Do you want to be with a guy who is actively contacting not only members of the opposite sex but same sex as well. Are you ok sharing your guy with anyone else, no matter their orientation? He can live what ever lifestyle he wants, but if you want him to yourself, he obviously isn't going to be that for you. Get out if you can, and get legal help for the financial issues if there are any.
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