We started exploring kinks and now I'm feeling that things are out of hand
Q. So me and my girlfriend are fairly kinky and I know she likes BDSM (since a friend took her to an event last year) so I asked her if she'd like to go to a rope workshop in a couple of weeks.. This tipped over a few more dominoes than expected, s...
A. 10 February 2011: I can tell just by the way you are talking that if you have as much as one threesome your relationship will be over because you arent the type of person to be okay with sharing your lady. I don't blame you. Most people couldn't handle that. You just ... (read in full...)
I want to have sex but the guys I like prefer slim girls
Q. Im 17, and a virgin, im a size 16-18 and i really want to have sex! ive had no sexual experiences, I just want to get out there! The only thing is, then guys im into, tend to like slim girls, i dont think i'll be able to find a guy that likes my...
A. 10 February 2011: Honestly nobody should want to just "get out there" and start sleeping with random people, especially someone your age. You feel left out because you arent like the rest of those girls? You should be proud that you ARE NOT like them!! Dont share ... (read in full...)
She told me to leave her alone - what do I do?
Q. I gave my crush a note to tell her how I felt about her, she's a shy female, one week later, I asked her what she thought of it and she told me to leave her alone, what does that mean?? ...
A. 10 February 2011: I agree with Fi the tree-- if she tells you to leave her alone you need to respect her wishes. ... (read in full...)
Performance anxiety - her distance and lack of affection is destroying my self esteem.
Q. Backround, im 24. Male, Dating a 23yr old girl.We live in South Carolina by the beach. I go to school and work full time. she works alot. Weve been together for like 18 months now and we live together. We started out great and use to be very intim...
A. 10 February 2011: Well, it sounds to me like she is aggitated with you for some reason and it's probably not because of your "not so great" performance a year ago. It just seems like she is looking for any reason at all to snap on you. What kinds of things are you ... (read in full...)
Why won't my boyfriend stand up for me and correct his mom?
Q. My boyfriends mum called me trailer trash and that she thought so hard to get me excepted into his family because s have 2 children already. At one point his mum was ill and she assume's i stopped him seeing but he has not corrected her because he ...
A. 10 February 2011: Well if things don't work out.. it would probably be a relief to you to not have to deal with his mother anymore. A diary is a great idea-- writing to me is very therapeutic. I always feel better once I write it all down and then I read it to ... (read in full...)
Married for only 6 months but I feel so alone, hurt and disappointed! Is there any hope for us?
Q. I don't even know where to start. We have only been married for six months but I will admit that this has been going on for over a year. Our relationship started as being long distance- a different country even. I love him with all of my heart ...
A. 10 February 2011: Wow, being so far from your family and friends would be hard and feel lonely. You need to let him know you gave that up and you need him to be there for you. If he can't make time for you, can you live like that? It's 6 months in and it's already ... (read in full...)
Why did she marry me if she now wants to live the single life and date other men? Should I continue to stand by her and wait for her to come back?
Q. "this is very long but please bare with me, its important and i could really use any sort of advice" hey, im 22 and been married for just over a year, my wife, 24, and i have a 1 year old boy together. we both used to be so incredibly happy, i...
A. 10 February 2011: I can see that you really really love her, but unfortunately somewhere along your time together she has fallen out of love with you. Do not smother and beg her to take you back, it will annoy her and she'll become more distant. Tell her how you feel ... (read in full...)
I have to appear in court because of my ex and his new woman! I seriously want to forget about him for life, but how do I go about doing that?
Q. the last time I wrote on Cupid was in January. It was about my ex boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me the week before Halloween of 2010. When he had broke up with me he told me he wanted to be free, and just live life to the fullest with out any ...
A. 10 February 2011: WOW, after court you need to stay away from both of them. He didn't finish school and you tried to make him a better person, but you can't make someone better if they don't want to be better. Sounds to me like YOU are the better person and ... (read in full...)
I cant accept he doesn't like me!
Q. hi, i like my cousins best friend,we used to talk on phone but when he met me for the first time he said he didnt feel the connection with me.......now i'm not able to accept this that he doesnt likes me......i really miss him...what to do? ...
A. 10 February 2011: You have to accept that he doesn't feel that way about you. You can't make someone like/love you. Sometimes we wish we could, but it's impossible. ... (read in full...)
He's obsessively looking up another woman online!
Q. I've been with my b/f for 2 years (living together for 1) and in nearly every respect we're very happy together. He dotes on me and gives me everything I could possibly ask for emotionally and otherwise. He's everything to me and we rarely, if at ...
A. 10 February 2011: How is he searching for her, creeping out her facebook page or something? And how often? I agree that I would not be very happy about this...although I am guilty of looking at people online from time to time. If things start to actually change in ... (read in full...)
Is it my paranoia or is this my gut instinct?
Q. Am I in the wrong here? Been seeing marc for over a year. We see each other most nites. We both have insecurity issues, in truth mine are a lot worse than his. But he does ask insecure questions like am I getting bored and sometimes will b...
A. 10 February 2011: It sounds to me like your insecuity is scaring him off. He is doing nice things for you and being very thoughtful. You should be happy that he is that way. You can't measure love.. if he says he loves you that should be a good enough answer. And if ... (read in full...)
Will my ex come back to me?
Q. Hi everyone, I would really appreciate any answers and advice... My boyfriend broke up with me about 10 days ago. We were together for over 5 years. We are both 22 and had all of our firsts together. The reasons he broke up with me were that he ...
A. 10 February 2011: WOW you sound like me three years ago! I was with the love of my life from a young age up until where you are now and we had all of our firsts together. I begged for him to come back because I never would have left him but he didnt. It has been ... (read in full...)
If I have feelings for this girl, what do you suggest that I do?
Q. I posted on here a while ago saying how I was really struggling to forget my ex of around a year ago, and how I was really out of ideas on how to get over it because it was driving me crazy. Since then something has sparked in my mind and the pain ...
A. 10 February 2011: First of all.. how long have they been broken up? If this is fresh.. my guess is this girl wouldn't be ready for a relationship right now anyways. Why don't you just try being friends with her? Thats the best way to start out a relationship anyhow. ... (read in full...)
25 year old male who doesn't want sex? What could be the problem here?
Q. im female and i was just wondering is it normal for a man of 25 to have a very low sex drive he loves oral sex but thats about it he never asks for sex just oral sometimes i have to remind him i have needs to , i dont have a great sex drive but at ...
A. 10 February 2011: Other than sex, has your relationship changed at all? How long have you been together? He definitely needs to think about your needs as well. I think oral sex is a good start before having sex, so instead of finishing it like that.. get him turned ... (read in full...)
What is this kind of friendship called?
Q. Hi, i met this great guy about four months ago when he called me on phone, and since then we've been talking and sharing pictures, we stay in the same area. We've met two times physically, and the second time we kissed. He got me very nice gifts ...
A. 10 February 2011: What do you mean you have met two times physically?! At your age it shouldn't be physical; ESPECIALLY if you don't even know what kind of relationship you are in if you're even in one. You have to be friends with someone first and earn their ... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend hate me because I follow his orders?
Q. What is going on with my boyfriend?! Is he my boyfriend?! I'm so confused. He breaks up with me every other month and gets a new girlfriend, and every time I lock myself up in my bedroom and hide from him and the world. This turns him into a monster ...
A. 10 February 2011: You are awfully young to be having these kinds of issues. Just imagine how nasty he will be when he gets older! I see you say you love him more than you love yourself and that should NEVER be the case! You need to love yourself before you can ever ... (read in full...)
Tough Love...what to do? My boyfriends a bigger handfull then I ever imagined
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years. He goes to counseling once a week, is on antidepressants and anti anxiety medication. When we first met he was soo soo sweet (I really thought I got super lucky) but now we are living together in a ...
A. 10 February 2011: I appreciate all of your advice and will take them all into consideration while I'm sorting this all out. I don't know that I can do this for my whole life. My biggest fear is that I want children and I'm not sure that he will ever be able to ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend gay?
Q. is my boyfriend gay ? we're friends for about 6 years,we haven't seen each other for about 2 years...he became my boyfriend 3months ago we shared things and happy moments with my family and his family too, he's very sweet and very loving.....
A. 10 February 2011: First of all-- your wording is difficult to understand. Second, if he is gay.. you can't "save him" from that regardless of what his parents think. Someone doesn't choose to be gay, you either are or are not gay but you don't "save someone" from ... (read in full...)
How should I react if I bump into my ex?
Q. I would like your advice on how to react if I bump into my ex. We split up late in 2009 after 2 1/2 yrs together. I can't really say if we parted on good terms or not really, we just drifted apart I guess due to distance (we live over 30 miles ...
A. 10 February 2011: I would act cool, calm and collected.. like your life went on just fine without him (and it did!! ) Be the bigger person and walk away with your head held high. That's what I would do.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend ignores me when I talk!
Q. My boyfriend of one year ignores me. When I talk sometimes he just sits and says nothing. I am not asking for a long conversation, but even a "yeah" or "sure", I mean anything. It is extremely rude and driving me crazy. The other day I talked about ...
A. 10 February 2011: Well thank you! And I'm glad that you were able to sort things out! Communication is usually key! And thanks about my boyfriend, I hope we can somehow sort things out too. Every day is different. The good, the bad, and the ugly. lol. Have a good ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't give 100%
Q. So Im thinking about breaking up with my boyfriend. He's got alot of great qualities - we have a blast hanging out, he makes me laugh and i can see a future with him.He constantly talks about us being married, living together, kids etc. The only ...
A. 10 February 2011: LOL guys always hold stuff hostage, they are silly creatures sometimes. Well I hope when you actually sit down and talk to him, you can come to some type of understanding. Seems like he loves you as much as you love him or he would have given you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend called me a breeding sob!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend off and on over two years.We've been together 8 month this time.He's not sexually active,we have sex maybe once every three months.The other nite a mutual friend of ours came over with her boyfriend.She was talkin about ...
A. 10 February 2011: Well...asking the other girl still shows disrespect to both of you. Who talks like that other than a pig? C'mon..you deserve better. It doesn't have to be a problem, it can be the past. And if you only have sex every three months..what are you ... (read in full...)
How do you stop crying over a man who treats you like crap?
Q. How do u stop crying over a guy you honestly sincerely know isn't good enough, treats you like crap, then says "i love you"? This guy messed with me for two years. I honestly did love him but our relationship was completely dysfunctional, but there ...
A. 10 February 2011: By saying this : "i think the hardest part is the fact that he ended things with mr. hyde so to speak." are you saying that you think he has changed and is a good guy now? They are ALWAYS nice when they want you back!! Don't let him fool you. They ... (read in full...)
His ex is staying over at his house for the weekend - am I wrong to feel hurt?
Q. The man that I have been seeing for just over 2 months has an ex girlfriend coming to stay at his house for the weekend. He still lives with his family so it is a full house. He asked to stay at his place before I met him so he feels as though it is ...
A. 10 February 2011: Well.. if they were never an item but slept together.. AND she's friends with his sister..I would just buck up. Go to the party and be yourself. Be friendly and don't let it ruin your time there. You should be there. It might be aqward but ... (read in full...)
Why do men that cheat have to lie about it? Why not just tell the truth once found out?
Q. Dear ladies out there who's been cheated on.. I've been w/my best friend for 10 yrs. Aug 13 2010 found out he was seeing a girl last dec. Its has been 6 mos now, I am done w/the relationship.. But after 10 years I believe I deserve to know the ...
A. 10 February 2011: It feels good to get it all out doesn't it? Writing is a perfect way of therapy. Well keep on smiling; it will only get better from here. Keep your head up and be proud of yourself for not sticking around! P.S. Don't look the girl up--you may think ... (read in full...)
Does my ex want me back???
Q. Hi everyone. Please, can you give me your views on this. My ex who I love every much, came over to see me last week. He was very loving and attentive. He works nights, and said that he cannot see me in the evenings, but can see me during ...
A. 10 February 2011: AHHH drunk texting is such a bad bad bad idea. I've done it (not in my proudest moment) but..you really have to refrain from this! Let him call you, if he just chit chats like a friend..you will have to let it go. You may not like what he has to ... (read in full...)
Why don't guys ask me out! I feel like I'm missing out!
Q. Hey, so I've always had a bad image of myself although people tell me I'm one of the most amazing people they've ever met. But only one guy has ever asked me out and i see all these couples around school and it doesn't help the situation! (hehe) ...
A. 10 February 2011: Love,
Be proud of who you are and don't ever ever let people make you feel bad about yourself(especially a guy). Just from you asking advice; I'd say you're a pretty smart girl. You're going to be fine! :)... (read in full...)
I kniow she is bad for me, but I am so attracted to her!
Q. Hi,so there is this woman,she is stunning,charming,with a great laugh,very smart.Problem is she has never had a long term relationship,just a strong of affairs,she has no loyalty,has a past involving porn and prostitution, etc.She is manipulative ...
A. 10 February 2011: Sounds to me like you know it's a test of your strength and you have the strength to do ANYTHING. Stay strong.Do the what right for you. You know what it is.... (read in full...)
Why won't my boyfriend stand up for me and correct his mom?
Q. My boyfriends mum called me trailer trash and that she thought so hard to get me excepted into his family because s have 2 children already. At one point his mum was ill and she assume's i stopped him seeing but he has not corrected her because he ...
A. 10 February 2011: Its a hard thing to deal with. When you are with someone you automatically get the parents. It's sad that you think he may leave you and the kids and choose his mother. Try to approach the sunbject in a different way. Instead of telling him how mad ... (read in full...)
I kniow she is bad for me, but I am so attracted to her!
Q. Hi,so there is this woman,she is stunning,charming,with a great laugh,very smart.Problem is she has never had a long term relationship,just a strong of affairs,she has no loyalty,has a past involving porn and prostitution, etc.She is manipulative ...
A. 9 February 2011: RUN!! lol get away while you can. You said it yourself.. she's bad for you. So don't allow her to break your heart. We sometimes want what we can't have. Save yourself the trouble and find someone worth your time.... (read in full...)
Why won't he accept that it is over?
Q. Nine months ago, my married man left his wife of 3 years. He said he did it for me, which I never asked of him and I don't believe he did, I think I was just an excuse. He moved in with me for 2 months and moved out again and now shares a house ...
A. 9 February 2011: He seems content with the way things are and just like he used you as an excuse to not feel bad about leaving his wife, he is not using that as an excuse to not feel bad about your break up. Change your number if you have to, but break it off. Not ... (read in full...)
She forwarded me an email from him calling me a lardass!!!
Q. Ok This guy and I have known each other for two years and have been dating for two months. I recently received an email from this woman that says they are together and have been trying to work things out. When I confronted him of course he denied ...
A. 9 February 2011: It's obvious he wants his cake and wants to eat it too. I wouldn't give him that kind of satisfaction. I would forget him and work on myself. Obviously you aren't happy with your weight. Work on that and when you are a healthier, happier you.. ... (read in full...)
Love can't be expressed in words, can it?
Q. I am in love with a girl.I am in hs n aged just 15.She has got another bf.We are good friends.I feel that i shouldnt tell her about it because love cant be expressed in words.Am i right?If not what should I do?...
A. 9 February 2011: She's dating someone, there's not much you can do. And at the ripe age of 15 I would say you don't know what love is just yet. There's so much time for dating, for now just take time doing the things you love. Relationships at 15 are not one of ... (read in full...)
We're both married, our affair needs to end, but we keep it going on
Q. I am so conflicted in my thoughts that I can’t think straight. I figured that writing it down may help but as I begin to write I don’t know where to start. I know this much though that in these pages I need to confront myself…be true to myself as I ...
A. 9 February 2011: Maybe you are missing something at home so you are trying to find that in him . Do you and your husband communicate well at home, and have a good sex life? If those areas need worked on, when you yearn for this guy..reach for your husband instead ... (read in full...)
Why don't guys ask me out! I feel like I'm missing out!
Q. Hey, so I've always had a bad image of myself although people tell me I'm one of the most amazing people they've ever met. But only one guy has ever asked me out and i see all these couples around school and it doesn't help the situation! (hehe) ...
A. 9 February 2011: Don't feel horrible about yourself! Life isn't all about guys, there's more to it than that. You are very young and right now you should focus on things that make you happy, not guys that make you happy. Your time will come.. for now just be a kid ... (read in full...)
I have clues my husband is cheating, I don't know what to do!
Q. I need help my husband is acting so different lately I have some clues he’s cheating he denies but also I feel so different about him I’m not sure if I love him I lost all my trust and I don’t know what to do now he tell’s me the he loves me so ...
A. 9 February 2011: You can't lose all your trust until you can really prove that he cheated. Don't just think it and throw your relationship away. Make sure you are valid in your thoughts. If there isn't any trust left, there isn't a relationship.... (read in full...)
Why won't my boyfriend stand up for me and correct his mom?
Q. My boyfriends mum called me trailer trash and that she thought so hard to get me excepted into his family because s have 2 children already. At one point his mum was ill and she assume's i stopped him seeing but he has not corrected her because he ...
A. 9 February 2011: Lisa,
His mother is an important part of his life but that doesn't give her the right to insult you; and he should definitely defend you. I would be hurt by this too. You need to tell him how you feel.Also..it's not your job to always bring the baby... (read in full...)
I have an obsession to help needy men!
Q. What is wrong with me? I dont understand why my relationships dont work. I know I have a problem and an obsession to help men. I always take guys who is NOTHING unemployed etc etc. Allow them to move in with me and my 2 kids !!! Help them to ...
A. 9 February 2011: I think you could use some counseling. You need to talk to someone about why you do this; possibly family issues when you were younger? It's not healthy or finacially wise to keep doing this and it's definitely not good for your kids to see their ... (read in full...)
Could it be that she just sees me as a nice guy she can go to work with and forget about problems at home???
Q. Hello everyone, I have a problem I could really use someone to talk to over and get some advice to. Hopefully I can get everything across and make sense. I recently moved to a new area, have a job and am really settled. However over the last co...
A. 9 February 2011: If she's having problems at home she might not be getting the attention she deserves and you probably make her feel good about herself. If she ever decided she wanted to be more than friends I think she would let you know. To me it sounds like ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my sister I think her boyfriend might be gay?
Q. I think my sister's boyfriend is gay. I had met him before she got together with him, and plain just assumed he was. He is very very camp, his voice, the way he acts and jokes, it would be right to assume he had to come out as straight. When my ...
A. 9 February 2011: I wouldn't say anything. I think you can joke and say "he's kind of feminine" ..if you and your sister are close..just to see what she says. But truth is, you're not the one dating him. She knows him better than you do for sure and if he is gay I'm ... (read in full...)
His ex is staying over at his house for the weekend - am I wrong to feel hurt?
Q. The man that I have been seeing for just over 2 months has an ex girlfriend coming to stay at his house for the weekend. He still lives with his family so it is a full house. He asked to stay at his place before I met him so he feels as though it is ...
A. 9 February 2011: haha absolutely not! That would never go over well with me. She should have enough respect for your relationship to find a motel! That's not okay and your boyfriend should feel horrible that you don't even want to go to the party because you're ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend called me a breeding sob!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend off and on over two years.We've been together 8 month this time.He's not sexually active,we have sex maybe once every three months.The other nite a mutual friend of ours came over with her boyfriend.She was talkin about ...
A. 9 February 2011: It sounds like he has absolutely no respect for you, and you put up with this.. why?!?! You may have low self esteem and being around someone who treats you like this, I can see why. Get away from him! Do something good for yourself to feel good ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't give 100%
Q. So Im thinking about breaking up with my boyfriend. He's got alot of great qualities - we have a blast hanging out, he makes me laugh and i can see a future with him.He constantly talks about us being married, living together, kids etc. The only ...
A. 9 February 2011: If you enjoy spending time with him and you love him, the first step is talking to him about it. Possibly even going to a counselor together. Don't end something you might regret. But also.. relationships are a give and take, both involved need to ... (read in full...)
Why do men that cheat have to lie about it? Why not just tell the truth once found out?
Q. Dear ladies out there who's been cheated on.. I've been w/my best friend for 10 yrs. Aug 13 2010 found out he was seeing a girl last dec. Its has been 6 mos now, I am done w/the relationship.. But after 10 years I believe I deserve to know the ...
A. 9 February 2011: You're right.. you do not deserve that! Don't let him hurt your self esteem. He didn't realize what he had and obviously you really love him but I think you did the right thing by walking away. And good for you! You had enough respect for yourself ... (read in full...)
How do you stop crying over a man who treats you like crap?
Q. How do u stop crying over a guy you honestly sincerely know isn't good enough, treats you like crap, then says "i love you"? This guy messed with me for two years. I honestly did love him but our relationship was completely dysfunctional, but there ...
A. 9 February 2011: Break ups are never easy, but you said it for yourself.. your realtionship was dysfunctional and if you have already removed yourself from the situation, I wouldnt jump back in. I know what that's like, I'm there now. And It's very hard and really ... (read in full...)
Does my ex want me back???
Q. Hi everyone. Please, can you give me your views on this. My ex who I love every much, came over to see me last week. He was very loving and attentive. He works nights, and said that he cannot see me in the evenings, but can see me during ...
A. 9 February 2011: Hmmm... well I wouldn't be calling him back, I would wait for him to call me at this point. How long were you together, and how long have you been broken up.. and what exactly was he doing at your house anyways? (hopefully it WASNT for sex)as I ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend ignores me when I talk!
Q. My boyfriend of one year ignores me. When I talk sometimes he just sits and says nothing. I am not asking for a long conversation, but even a "yeah" or "sure", I mean anything. It is extremely rude and driving me crazy. The other day I talked about ...
A. 9 February 2011: I understand how you are feeling..completely. I love to talk and have always had relationships where we were also "friends". I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years and we are living together. I come home, I don't get a "hello" he just ... (read in full...)
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